The Story Box
by Adam Durlock
Summary: Where I put the crap that just surfaces from...somewhere. Mostly Naruto or Naruto crossovers, though sometimes the various other series pops in. May contain Ranma, Bleach, Harry Potter or so forth. If you want to use it, just go ahead and message me.
1. Naruto x Tales of Vesperia

_**The Pink Haired Princess**_

**_A Naruto/Tales of Vesperia Fanfic_**

* * *

"Hey! Is anyone home?" A man knocked on the door, twisting the handle and opening the door since it was unlocked. "Hey, come on, is anyone here?" He looked down at the sword wrapped up in straps that he held in his right hand and then to his companion that was walking silently with him. "Huh. Guess no one's home." He shrugged slightly and walked inside, taking a good look around. Since it was the middle of the afternoon, he figured it was best if he just waited here at the house instead of going and looking around.

He stood there, silently for a moment, dressed in dark colors, a sword scabbard with the weapon enclosed within was wrapped up with leathers to make it easier to carry in his right hand. A bag was slung over his left shoulder and he smiled while looking around the house. He had the perchance to muse to himself outloud instead of mentally and he carried himself as if he was a refined man that was used to doing dirty work. His hair was long and went down to his midback, it was also a very dark violet hue and almost stood out in a crowd. He was pushing his fourth decade and his birthday would in fact be quite soon, yet he managed to look youthful and still seemed to be in his mid-twenties.

"Y'know, next time remind me to send a letter ahead. Then again, this was supposed to be a surprise." He said with a sigh as he looked down to the side as his companion gave a snort. "Hey, don't give me that. You know you want to see their faces too." He shook his head as he got a rolled eye as a retort. "Fine, fine." the man mumbled as he let go of his weapon, depositing it beside the couch as he walked into the living room. "It's nice to see not much has changed. I always did like the way she had the layout of the room." He smiled a mysterious smile as he went over to one of the tables and picked up a picture.

There were three people sitting there, first in the top right corner was himself, standing tall while decked out in dark colors and behind a woman who sat sedately while dressed in white and ink. On her lap was a little child dressed in red looking brightly at the camera with a wide grin plastered on her little features.

"Really, it's been to long..." he murmured, looking down at his companion who just gave a small 'whuff' in response. In truth, it had been almost seven years since he went away on his trip. Originally, it was supposed to only last a year, but things kept cascading and snowballing from there. It was a major pain in the ass to think about. Yet at the same time...

"Ya know, I kinda missed it here." The man smiled slightly while shaking his head. After a faint look at his companion he rolled his shoulders in a shrug. "Wonder when they're getting home." All he got was a snort in response causing his own sigh to escape past his mouth.

Just before he decided to sit down on the couch, he unshouldered his bag and dropped it next to the sword. After that, he really did literally flop down onto the couch, almost as if he was boneless, all the while, still holding the picture. Another sigh escaped him as he continued to look at his family, wondering what exactly he had missed over these past seven years. What had happened while he was gone? With a rueful shake of his head he suddenly smirked down at his bag, thinking about the contents within and what his family would think about the surprises he brought with him.

A sudden thought came to him as he looked down, blinking a few times at his companion. "Hey, you want me to take that so you can lay down, or what?" He pointed absently at the dagger attatched to his companion's shoulder.. He just got an eye cocked at him before his companion let out a small whine and then barked twice at him.

Yres, the one he had been travelling with for the past seven years was a dog. Specifically it was a large blue and white dog with a large scar over his left eye, a pipe in his mouth from his previous master, a chain wrapped around his neck like a collar that dangled to the ground, and a dagger on his right shoulder.

"Oh fine. Gon on then. I know you want to go see Kuro and Tsume. I'll just wait for Estelle by myself, Repede." All that got him was another low bark, this time coupled with a growl as the dog named Repede moved and turned into a circle before laying down and looking up at him for a moment before resting his muzzle on his front paws. "Bah. What am I donna do with you?" he sighed and shook his head, pushing himself to his feet. **'**_Way to go Yuri. Way to get him pissed at you._' he thought to himself. '_Bah, screw it. I need to eat._' With that, the man known as Yuri walked away from the living room and went to the kitchen to try and scrounge up some food. As his look was currently holding the pattern consisted and he found that the kitchen was pretty bare and he finally realised where, at least, Estelle was gone.

"Man. I should've thought of that before I came home." Yuri mumbled from the kitchen, looking around and finding a piece of paper to leave a note. "Hey, Repede, I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat. You coming or staying?" He didn't get a response and Yuri just shook his head with a sigh. "Staying it is then. Man." Yuri laughed a little under his breath and went back to the living room, leaving his sword but grabbing his bag before heading out the front door.

A moment later he was out on the streets, looking up towards the mountainside for the first real time since he got back to the Village he currently lived. "Well, whattya know. She came back and they put her in charge?" He snorted under his breath and pushed his hair back away from his face before continuing on dow the road. "Haven't had ramen in a while, might as well go make a snack of it before I go find Estelle in the marketplace." He mused aloud like he usually did, wondering exactly how Teuchi had been doing these past seven years. His daughter should be all grown up now too.

It didn't take Yuri long, but he did decide to take a scenic route around the village to see what all had changed. It looked as if most of the buildings had been upgraded and fixed up not that long ago. Some of the changes were interesting, some of them, not so much. Eventually he did find himself outside of a ramen resturant called Ichiraku's. "Hey, Teuchi, you in?" He called, parting the top cloth as he walked in and sat on one of the stools since the place had no customers.

"Oh, ho." An older look man called out, looking at his newest customer for a moment. "If it isn't Yuri." Teuchi Ichiraku smiled from across the counter, wiping down his hands with a clean rag. "So, you're finally back, huh? I'm surprised it took you so long."

"Yeah, a whole seven years." Yuri said with a faint sigh, tapping his fingers on the counter-top while shaking his head slightly. "It should've only taken a year or so." He let out another sigh as he shook his head. "Damn problems back home and all that. Glad to be back home, I think Repede is too."

"Good to hear it. What about your wife, what she say?" Teuchi asked with a faint grin.

"Uh, actually, haven't seen Estelle yet. She and the kiddo were gone out when I got home. Left a note and Repede back home, he was about ready to take a nap." Yuri smirked a little and tilted his head to the side to get a look outside at the rest of the village before turning back to Teuchi. "Might as well have a Miso, if you don't mind. Er...I need to get some money converted actually. Shit."

Teuchi waved it off. "You can pay with what you've got and give me some stories of while you were gone. Besides, I've always got extra Miso anyway." Teuchi grinned as he turned around and started to get to work, making his most popular dish.

"Hah. Thanks Teuchi." Yuri grinned a little and reached into his pockets and pulled out a few coins of pure gold and dropped them on the table. It'd more than enough pay for the bowl in the trade values but Yuri had tons to spare so it wasn't really like it mattered. "Well, you know why I left, right?"

"Yep." Teuchi responded over his shoulder, not missing a beat with the noodles.

"Well, it snowballed from there. I swear, it was as if everything I touched went downhill. I think my luck was worse that old-lady Tsunande." Yuri shook his head at that and snorted. The woman wasn't even fifteen years older than him, sure, but she always disguised it, looking younger than even he did. "Ended up in jail for over a year altogether." Yuri grinned at that.

"Seriously? What for?" Teuchi asked with a frown as he got to the halfway mark while making the food.

"Old charges back when I was in my twenties. I was trying to avoid it, but they caught up with me before I could come home at the end of the first year. It's actually the reason I stayed even longer. Things went down bad back there." Yuri sighed a little. "Though, because of that I missed my little girl's graduation."

"And her promotion actually." Teuchi said as he added the finishing touches to the bowl and set it before Yuri, a glass of water appearing to go with it.

"Oh, damn. Seriously? Estelle's gonna kill me." Yuri said with a rueful shake of his head. "What else did I miss about her?"

"Ah, now that would be telling." Teuchi said with another wide grin. "Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise. You'll just have to wait to talk to her to find out. Why hello there Naruto! Back already?" Teuchi went from looking at Yuri to the newest customer with a genuine smile on his lip.

"Hey old man! Can I get a couple Miso?" The one called Naruto said as he sat dwn a stool away from Yuri who started to laugh inwardly when he got a strange look from Naruto. "Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?" Naruto had a weird frown and his eyes closed to make his face look just like a fox while he was thinking.

Yuri turned from his bowl after eating for a few seconds and gave Naruto a once over, noting the black and orange clothing, the bright blonde hair that was almost straight yellow. He thought back over the years and started to laugh as he remembered the old jumpsuit the brat used to wear. Black and orange was certainly better than white, blue and orange. "Well, well, if it ain't the pipsqueak. Still short and wearing orange I see."

"Hey! I ain't short ya geezer!" Naruto harumphed, opening his blue eyes widely as he started to remember who was sitting near him. "Besides, ain't you like fourty something now? Hey, hey, you using a Genjutsu like the old hag?" Naruto asked suddenly, brightly and with a wide grin on his lips.

"All natural, pipsqueak." Yuri said, not bringing up his age. "So, you got through huh? How many tries did it take you? I knw you failed that first year I left." His voice went gentle, trying not to sound rude. He was actually curious.

"Passed on the fourth try. Found out they were sabotagin' my scores after that first one, making me do stuff I couldn't do on purpose. The bastards." Naruto grumbled but turned suddenly cheery when his first bowl of Miso Ramen was placed in front of him, "Thanks old man!" he said cheerfully and dug in, done in just a moment.

Yuri just shook his head and continued to slowly nurse his own bowl "So, how'd you manage to pass? I can bet they made you do the same thing everytime, so what was different?"

"Mizuki." Naruto mumbled as the second bowl was palced in front of him, it being devoured almost as fast. "Told me I could pass if I did something different. Stole the Forbidden Scroll and learned something from it."

Yuri arched an eyebrow at Naruto for a moment and looked him over. "You managed to sneak past the Hokage's guards, the old man himself, took the scroll, got out and managed to learn a skill from it before you got caught?" he asked, just to clarify, also doing the math in his head. "All while you were only, what? Twelve?"

"I'm just that awesome! Well, that and I beat up Mizuki-teme after he hurt Iruka-Sensei. The Kage-Bushin did help though." Naruto grinned foxily at Yuri who just laughed while thinking about it. He knew what the Kage-Bushin was and what it could do too, and it was evident that Naruto wasn't a Chuunin yet, despite having learned a Jounin ability and beating a Chuunin teacher. Probably the old farts on the council.

"Knew you could do it one day, pipsqueak. Sorry I wasn't around for any of it. I got held up back where I used to live before I moved here." Yuri said finally finishing his bowl and handing it to Teuchi who just watched the two of them with a smile. "So, what've I missed while I've been gone? I see the old lady has her face up there. What happened to old man Sarutobi?" Yuri grimaced as he asked the question, glad he was now turned away and leaning against the counter with his back.

"Oorchimaru-hebi invaded during my first chuunin exam..." Naruto trailed off himself. The boys emotions fluctuating back and forth. "Him and Oji-san got into a fight on one of the buildings. He got killed in the fight." He was rather subdued when he said that, but his voice was getting some more emotion. "But he held off the hebi-teme and apparently both the First and Second all at the same time! Oji-san was badass." Naruto nodded resolutely. It was good that the boy still had some of the energy as he did seven years ago. Yuri was almost worried that the people would take away his smile in their ignorance. "A bunch of stuff happened with me and my team. I got to go on a lot of cool missions. I even got to save a princess once. It was so cool." Naruto with a thumbs up. "We just got back from a mission too. Yamato-taicho is reporting to Baa-san right now along with my other two teammates. They should be here soon actually."

"Oh, that so? Why don't I treat you all to a bowl when they get here then?" He twisted and looked over at Teuchi. "That not going to be a problem, Teuchi? I can go get some of my funds exhcnaged if you want me to first."

"Whatever you have on you is fine, Yuri. I like the foreign currency anyway." Teuchi said with a grin before looking back at Naruto. "You'll still need to pay for your own of course."

"No problem. Gama-chan is stuff with money right now. I've been saving up y'see. Had to hide it all from Ero-Sennin." Naruto gave Yuri a funny look as the older man held in an amused snort. "I'll take another bowl of Miso on my own while we wait."

Yuri gave Teuchi and odd look and cocked his head at Naruto while snickering and mouthed the words that Naruto said, 'Ero-Sennin?' and got back 'Jiraiya-sama.' in response. He just snorted again and shook his head. He then pulled out several more coins from various pockets and dropped them on the counter while Naruto got his third bowl and scarfed it down.

Not long after that, two more customers walked in, an older looking man in a jounin outfit and a pale teen with a belly-shirt that would look better on a girl than it would on a guy. Naruto greeted the heartily. "Yamato-taicho, Sai. Come on, sit down and order a bowl, it's been paid for."

Yamato blinked at that, looking at Teuchi behind the corner who gave him a nod and inclined his head to Yuri who sat there silently, watching the two of them. "Thank you, Naruto."

"No problem, Yamato-taicho, but you should thank the old man." He directed his hand to Yuri and blinked at the purple haired man a few times. "Are you sure you ain't using a genjutsu?"

"I'm quite sure about myself, pipsqueak." Yuri said blandly while still looking at both Yamato and Sai for a moment.

"Fine, fine. Hey where's...?" Naruto was about to ask before Sai cut in.

"Hag'll be here soon, Dickless." Sai said in that almost emotionless voice and fake smile of his. "Hokage-sama held her back to take a look at those burns."

Yuri almost started to laugh outloud about the nicknames, wondering exactly whom the 'hag' was, the amusement at Naruto's name was cut very short at the suddenly blank and dead look that Naruto started to give off at the mention of the burns on his team-mate. "I'm sure she'll be fine, Naruto. It wasn't exactly your fault." Yamato said softly causing Yuri's eyebrow to arch slightly.

"Yes it was..." Naruto trailed off with a mutter, mumbling under his breath about foxes and how stupid they were.

"Naruto." Yamato growled warningly.

"It's fine, Yamato-taicho, everyone here knows." Naruto said rather blithely, causing Yamato to look suspiciously at Yuri who just waved him off.

"Been here for over seventeen years, granted I've been gone for the past seven, but hey." A faint roll of his shoulders, still keeping relaxed, but one of his hands did dip towards the bag he had at his hip. He trusted Teuchi and Naruto, but not either of those two yet. Especially not the teen. "I was there when _it_ attacked and the Fourth dealt with it."

"You're not a civilian." Yamato stated and blinked a few times, it really wasn't a question.

"Yes I am." Yuri quipped right back before looking at Naruto. "I'm sure your teammate is fine." He looked over past Teuchi at the time and frowned a little. Shopping didn't take this long, did it? He was still getting an odd look from Yamato and added to his statement to the younger man. "Well, now anyway." a cheerful half grin passed his lips. "So, you're the team sensei?"

"Ah, no. I'm filling in for Kakashi-sempai." Yamato said neutrally.

"That brat finally passed a team while I was gone? I'll be damned." Yuri laughed suddenly. "Good for him. Standing at the Stone like he did was doing him no good."

"Well, he still does that, actually." Yamato said sincerely. If this man knew Kakashi's habits and Naruto well enough to buy him Ramen, he was either a damn good spy or the genuine article. Sure it was ANBU paranoia, but hey, it usually stood true with you.

"Kaka-sensei is always a few hours late for everything." Naruto grumbled.

"He'd be late to his wn funeral if he could manage it, pipsqueak." Yuri said good naturedly and finally held out his hand to Yamato. "You can call me Yuri."

"Yamato." the ANBU said, shaking Yuri's hand in response.

All the while, Sai watched silently, taking in the actions of those involved, making mental notes here and there on the way they were acting. He notced that the man that introduced himself as Yuri, wondering why he'd intorduce himself as either a flower or as a form of female relationship. It was odd to Sai, really old. Yuri held himself as an aloof person, but there was something guarded in his posture. He had noticed the hand dip towards that pouch, but it was certainly no weapon holster. Yet at the same time, he could see the small seals on the bag from where he sat. There was something very interesting about him, he would have to add this to his report to Danzo, but this gave further observational thought first. Dickless obviously trusted the man with even S-class information, and the old Ramen seller seemed to be friendly too.

All in all?

Odd.

"Oh, here she comes now!" Naruto said, taking a look outside the shop. "Sakura-chaaaan! Over here!" Naruto waved from his stoold towards his female teamate.

"Wait a..." Yuri blinked a few times looking at Teuchi who had a strange grin on his face. "Did he just say what I think he did?" He got a single nod in response and Yuri glared for a moment. This was part of the surpise wasn't it?

A moment later, Sakura parted the fabric and stood just inside of the stand, looking at her teamamtes and then at Yuri himself, her eyes widening in surprise, but she didn't say anything, she stood there, as if she was shocked about something.

"Hey, hey, Sakura-chan. Sit down, he offered to buy us all a bowl and we were waiting for you to get here." Naruto said cheerily, not notcing the state his teammate and crush was in.

Yamato and Sai, however did. And Sai suddenly shuddered as Yuri gave the teen a glare out of the corner of his eye. Yamato himself clearly saw something was wrong, but Yuri spoke up first while Teuchi was in the background snickering while making several bowls of Ramen.

"Hey Princess. You gonna sit down like pipsqueak said?" Yuri was trying to be nonchalant about the entire ordeal, wroking his jaw a moment before he decided to fall back on cool and confident, but he let a small whisper past his lips. "Yeah...I'm home."

Only Teuchi Ichiraku wasn't surprised at what happened next as Sakura squealed out in delight and threw herself at Yuri.

"DADDY!"

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

"_NAAAAANI!_"

* * *

**Notes from the Author:**

Yeah, I'm bad. Anyway, random idea floating in my head after I lost 3/4ths of the last chapter of KTR got trashed because of my stupid laptop. I got pissed off at it, so I haven't written anything in the last week because of it and while I was venting I decided to play my newly bought 360 (My last one stopped working properly) and popped in Vesperia. While I was screwing around getting some food while the game was loading I came back while the cutscene when you start up the game was playing and Estelle was sitting there in a field of flowers and I just started to blink a few times, thinking to myself, wow...she kind of looks like Sakura. Same color hair, same color eyes, all that kind of jazz.

Then I started to look up information and found out that Yuri's name, despite being feminine in Japanese, was also a flower. So I pretty much went from there.

So, some information on this fic outside of where I got the idea of it.

Estelle and Yuri are married and mvoed away from wherever it was they were living and ended up in the Elemental Countries. Yuri is either turning 40 or 41 or so. Estelle a couple years younger than that. Other character ages go according to those for the ToV stuff. The Naruto stuff is after the failed mission to bring back Sasuke after Naruto's return and before the Elemental training. The above stuff is really only a prologue because I figured this was the best part to cut it off and and see opinions.

I know my tense in writing is off, I blame a decade of online RPing where I have to take another person's interactions in with the first half and respond from there with my own. I'm trying to fix that and that's the point of my stories here on , to get my writing back up to par.

Also, this is going to be a lot more action orientated once I get into it and some prior knowledge is best with both series, but none of it's really needed for either. I'll be explaining as I go along for some things. I'd also like to note that the beginning is going to be set in Konoha and then it'll be trip time towards ToV, so, who should I bring along? No current ANBU as I need characters that aren't going to be hiding their faces. Pairings, as it were, are undecided outside of the Vesperian ones. That information will be in the next chapter when Yuri talks to Estelle. I'll also openly admit I'm a sucker for NarutoxIno for some inane reason I can't comprehend myself, but that's besides the point.

Finally, there isn't going to be any kind of character bashing, so forget about it. This is obviously a Sakura centric story, so those haters can just bugger off with their complaints. Some characters may be OOC, but, hey. This is Fanfic, so nyah.


	2. Harry Potter x Naruto

The first thing he noticed was an explosion.

It wasn't like any other explosion that he had come across, and he knew explosions, he knew them intimately. Large ones, small ones, fake ones, even gratuitous ones. This explosion wasn't of the normal fireball variety though. Sadly, this explosion was of the magical variety.

"_Kuso._" The blonde man swore in his native language as he surged forth before switching the the language around him. "Shit, shit shit." he continued to swear as he ran down the street towards his destination, which unfornately, was also the spot of the explosion.

What he came across, was the wreckage of a house ad the screams of a baby.

"No, no...James! Lily! Someone answer me!" The man continued to yell as he moved closer to the wreckage as the building started to fall apart. His seasoned ears picking the location of the sounds of a little baby crying in pain. His eyes scanned the broken home until they managed to find the source of the yelling in the wreckage.

There he was, a little baby just slightly over a eyar old, wrapped in a bundle. Next to him was the corpse of his mother, a woman that had firey red hair, and now lifeless eyes with no marks upon her. Several feet away, the half crushed body of her husband lay strewn about. The cries of the baby tore the man's gaze back to it as he crept closer. "Shh, Harry, it's alright. Everything is fine now, you're safe..." He trailed off as he crept forward. "It's alright kiddo, you're safe with me." He looked down next to the baby and his mother, noticing the third corpse, an evil looking man with a look of utter surprise on his face.

The blonde reached down and lifted up the boy, comfortingly and hefted him with a faint smile, his blue eyes gazing down into the gree ones that softened up once they connected. He started to slowly step out of the wreckage of the home, holding up the child carefully. "Come on Harry, be a good little boy, 'ne?" The blonde smiled before he looked up and squinted his eyes, hearing the roar of a motorcycle.

To his lack of surprise and faltering smile, a flying motorcycle landed nearby. A man dressed in black, stepping off the motorcycle as his eyes widened in surprise at the damaged and broken house. The blonde man slowly pulling out a weapon from his back pocket as he spoke to the new man. "Sirius. How dare you show your face here." The blonde hissed.

The man named Sirius stepped away from his flying motorcycle and raised his hands slowly as he walked closer. "This...this wasn't my fault." The man whispered hauntingly.

"You were the secret keeper, Sirius!" The blonde snarled, his blue eyes narrowing.

"I wasn't!" Sirius hissed back.

"What?" The blonde asked. "James told me you were."

"That was a lie." Sirius growled out. "Look, I can prove it."

"Pull out your wand slowly. Any funny moves and I'll peg you between the eyes with a kunai." The blonde said.

Sirius Black slowly reached into his shirt, pulling out a small stick, a wand if you will, from an inside pocket and held it out, speaking solemnly. "I, Sirius Black swear upon my magic and upon my life, that I was not the Secret Keeper for the Potter Family's home at Godric's Hollow." He paused as the magic washed over him, waiting for the blonde's begruding nod before he put his wand away. "It was Wormtail. That little bastard of a rat sold us out." Sirius started back to his motorcycle.

"Wait up, Sirius." The blonde hissed. "What about Harry, you fool?"

Sirius hesitated at that, his jaw clenching as his fists turned white in rage. "You're right. If I go hunt down that bastard, who knows what could happen?" Sirius took a deep breath and exhaled deeply.

It was then that an over large man showed up. "Sirius?" The large man rumbled, finally taking in the area around him. "No!"

"Hagrid!" Sirius hushed the giant. "Don't yell, don't upset Harry."

"'E's alive? 'Arry's alive?" The man stumbled over to the blonde. "Merlin. What 'appened?"

"Explosion." The blonde man reported. "Was on my way here when it happened. House had already collapsed when I arrived. James was hit with several curses from what I can tell. Lily took an Avada..." The blonde trailed off as he looked at the little boy in his arms, noting the scar upon his forehead that went from eyebrow to hairline. "I don't know how, but The Dark Lord is dead. Harry has a scar now too." The last words were whispered.

"Hagrid." Sirius spoke softly. "Take my motorcycle, go report this to Dumbledore immediately."

"Sirius. You're not going after him." The blonde spoke softly. "Your Godson is more important than revenge."

"Don't you think I know that?" Sirius growled lowly, shutting his eyes and clenching his fists again as looked away from the others. "We need to get out of here though. Reporters are going to come soon."

"Wha' should I tell the 'Eadmaster?" Hagrid asked, looking to Sirius and then to the blonde holding little Harry.

"Tell him that I'll be taking Harry and Sirius with me to my home." The blonde spoke softly, smiling down at the little boy. "_They_ won't think to look for him there...besides, James always did say he wanted to have Harry try some of the training."

"Alright." Hagrid nodded, starting up the flying Motorcycle. "I'll be gettin' word to the 'Eadmaster. Be talking t'ye soon." Tears were in the large man's face as he looked at the wreckage before speeding off, moving into the air.

"You sure we can't go kill the rat?" Sirius asked, moving closer.

"Oh, I'll be setting up a mission for it the moment we get back and get you two settled." The blonde said with another smile down at the baby. "Here, hold him for a moment." The blonde finally slipped the kunai away as he rummaged through his gear, pulling out a small item that was shaped like a bell. It was about the size of his fist. "Alright. Hold tight. I hate these things."

"It's not so bad." Sirius half heartedly joked as he wrapped one arm around the blonde while holding his son.

"International Portkey. It's very bad." The blonde retorted blandly. "_Takuhai._" The man spoke in his first language again as they felt the pull at their navel's, swirling away in a small pop.

* * *

"Namikaze Harry!" A voice called out from the distance.

"I didn't do it!" I yelled back. "It's all Dad's fault!"

I could hear her stomping closer and closer and I suddenly felt the need to flee. There was no way in Hell that I was sticking around to feel my mother's wrath, even if it really was my fault. When in doubt, blame Dad, after all.

Or Padfoot, he's a great patsy.

"Harry, get your ass out here now!" Mum yelled at me. "I'm giving you to the count of five!"

"Muuuuum!" I whined back.

"Five!"

"Come one!"

"Four!"

"Please?"

"Three!"

_Shit._ "I'm coming!"

I raced back to the window of my room from the roof and flipped down into it. Mum shares her crazy strength with her best friend and their old teacher, it was utter;y crazy.

"Two!"

"I'm here!" I yelled from the otherside of the door and ripped it open just as I saw Mum cock her fist back ready to obliterate my door. "What?" I tried to glare sullenly up at Mom, but I didn't have it down like Uncle Sasuke did.

Mum just put her hands on her hips and glared back at me, seeing how as she spent a lot of time around Uncle Sasuke when they were kids, she could do it a lot better than I could. "Young Man, I thought I told you to be ready early today."

"Sorry Mum..." I rubbed the back of my head while I was apologizing.

"You're taking the Genin test today to boot, and if you keep this up, you're going to be late." At least she stopped glaring.

"Mum! I know." I grumbled. "I was the one that signed up to take it early, after all."

"Damn straight." Mum grinned back at me. "No kid of mine is gonna fail, ever."

I grinned right back at her. "Is Dad still home or has he headed to the Office?"

"He's downstairs waiting with your breakfast, dear. He'll be going with you to the Academy and he'll also be overseeing the exams this year." Mum smiled and ruffled my hair. Oh how I hate that, even if it's always a brown mess that didn't match Mum or Dad's hair.

"Hai, hai." I nodded, hoping it'd be pancakes...and not some odd pancake ramen that Dad and Padfoot had come up with.

"Now, get. I'll be downstairs in a few minutes." Mum pushed me a little, but strong enough to cause me to almost stumble as I made my way to the stairs.

Once I had actually made it downstairs, I was thankful that Dad hadn't come up with some kind of crazy breakfast and I was glad that Padfoot had deigned to show up as well."

"Heya, Kiddo." Padfoot said in his thick accent.

"Heyo, Pads." I waved cheerily at him and took my spot at the table. "You got anything planned for later?"

"Outside of celebrating your obvious passing?" Padfoot grinned at me and I grinned cheekily back. "I actually have a date tonight."

That's when Dad put himself into the conversation, dropping a plate of pancakes and some sides in front of me. "A date? With whom, Sirius?"

"Ah, with Hyuuga Hinata actually." Padfoot grinned like an utter madman. "Us Noble Houses have got to stick together and whatnot." He waved it off. "Really though, I think it's because I'm a carefree idiot, and her Father is a bit of a stuffy git."

"True." Dad laughed. "Glad I don't deal with him on my Council meetings and I deal with Hinata or Hanabi instead. They're a lot easier to get along with."

"Dad? What about you?" I interjected.

"Well, I'll be watching you and this year's graduating class, take your Mother out for an early lunch, file the paperwork for this year's teams..." he traled off while ticking things off his fingers. "Have a talk with Sasuke about a few things going around in the village, make sure Sakura-chan's got enough funds for the hospital for the next while. Then I have to go see your Grandfather about some flowers in the shop."

I stuffed a pancake in my mouth while I was listening, nodding along to it. "So, that's about ten minutes of work for you." I deadpanned, knowing full well my Father's love for one of the first techniques he ever learned.

"I'm just that good." Dad puffed out his chest, trying to show off before getting a glint in his eye. "Iruka-sensei is doing your exam this year. You know what to do, right?" He was whispering slyly.

"Yep." I smirked. "I've got it down perfectly."

"Got what down perfectly, dear?" Mum walked in just behind me as I finished speaking.

"Nothing Mum!" I pursed my lips together, trying to act the innocent angel. Suffice to say, I really wasn't all that good at it.

"Na-ru-to!" Mum looked at Dad, giving him what he called The Evil Eye.

"Yes, Ino-chan?" Dad somehow manged to pull it off perfectly though.

"Did you teach our son that horrible Jutsu?" Ino narrowed her eyes at Dad while me and Padfoot snickered.

"Ah, which one specifically, dear?" Dad always did managed to put his foot in his mouth. It's a pretty bad disease really.

"You know what I'm talking about." Mum walked over and bapped Dad in the back of the head.

Padfoot looked at me and snickered. "I could go for some popcorn with this kind of entertainment."

"True, but we don't have any...so...Pancake?" I asked, spearing one with a chopstick and handing it over.

"Why thanks, kiddo." Padfoot snickered.

Mum and Dad continued to argue back and forth, bickering like kids younger than me while me and Padfoot had a good laugh about it. Though I did catch Dad mock whining something about tradition and how it would lighten things up. Besides, I was only ten and it would show a healthy respect for...something or another. I never really caught any of that.

"I'm done!" I announced to cut them off, having cleared my pancakes off my plate, also having shared them with Padfoot.

"Head on out then, scamp. I'll be behind you in a little bit." Dad said from the otherside of the table, fending off Mum who seemed like she was starting to get violent.

"Come on, kiddo. I'll take you with me." Padfoot said, pushing his chair back.

Soon enough, we were out the door and hopping over the rooftops. Padfoot told me that he was still trying to get the hang of this kinda thing. Apparently since he didn't start until he was really old, it was a lot harder for him to start learning. Though, he guess because he had previous training doing something else, he picked it up easier than a regular civilian could. Granted, even I wasn't supposed to be able to do this at my age, of course, having Hokage as my Father kinda made up for it. Outside of mission experience, I'd say I was mid level Genin already. I could do every single one of the Academy Jutsu and I was able to use some of Mum's clan jutsu since they it wasn't really a Bloodline like Uncle Sasuke's eyes. Of course, Dad never tried to learn them, something about not wanting to inflict the horrors of his own mind on even his worst enemy.

I always thought he meant that he was just a tad crazy, afterall, we're Ninja, we have to be a little crazy.

Soon enough, we were at the Academy and Padfoot waved me farewell once we spotted Dad...or one of Dad's Clones, since know Dad wasn't going to be here already.

"Heya Kid." The clone called out. "Boss'll be here in a bit. I just need to talk to your Academy Sensei about a few things before I pop." The clone waved and headed into the Academy ahead of me while I trailed behind him.

"So, how many teams this year?" I asked, trying to get some information out of him.

"Ah. At least one, of course." Dad-Clone grinned cheekily at me. "This year seems pretty average otherwise, so maybe two or three. Who knows, we might get lucky and get a fourth team out of them this year." I nodded in agreement at that and looked at the door to my classroom. "Go on." Clone-Dad paused for a moment. "And no, I don't know who your sensei is." The Clone wandered off down the hallway as I stepped into the class.

The room wasn't full, about halfway there, thankfully there were none of those scary girls about that Uncle Sasuke told me about. Ever since he told me what his days in the Academy were like with Dad, I've been scared of them ever since. Of course, they follow me around like lost puppies, but I think it's because of who Dad is. Honestly, it's part of the reason I chose to graduate early. I didn't know any of the girls, they didn't know me.

"Harry." A voice called out, breaking into my musings.

"Itachi." I responded once I recognized the voice, turning to look at the boy that was two years my senior.

Itachi Uchiha looks exactly like his name sake, just younger and not as stoic. His Father, Uncle Sasuke, held him back from graduating early despite being just as smart as the original Itachi. I remember overhearing something about that when I was younger. Something along the lines of letting him have some friends his own age.

"You ready?" Of course that didn't mean Itachi was actually all that sociable.

"Of course. Wouldn't be here if I wasn't." I retorted. "Dad and Padfoot really pushed for it, now that I think about it...but I really want to graduate early anyway."

"No surprise. I saw the horde of girls that was following you last week." There was a faint hint of a smirk on my friend's lips and I wanted to punch it off his smug face.

"Padfoot did something weird to my clothes." I mumbled. "They kept being able to find me, no matter what I did."

"Heh. How'd you get him back?" Itachi asked.

"I tried dying all his clothes a bright pink. You know, like the Hospital Director's hair? I also replaced all his stuff with fake versions." I let out a sigh. "He let me get one good laugh at his clothes before he did something to turn them all back to normal. I kept trying, but haven't been able to get anything to stick."

Itachi clapped my shoulder and let out a small laugh. "I'm sure you'll find something..." He trailed off, tensing up a little. "Gotta run."

I watched with a canted eyebrow as Itachi took a few steps away from me and then dived out the window. I barely managed to avoid the sudden stampede of girls chasing the youngest Uchiha. "I'll tell Iruka-sensei you'll be late!" I called out the window with a happy wave and settled down in a random seat.

Thankfully, the rest of the day proceeded as it was supposed to. I aced the tests, did all my jutsu, including one that gave Iruka-sensei a massive nosebleed that actually rocketed him back onto the ground. Everyone had a good laugh at that...though I did get some death glares from some of the girls...until they noticed whom I was. Thankfully fangirlism won the day against righteous feminine fury. I did do the proper one before Iruka even reacted too so I stayed out of trouble to boot. Everyone in the class passed, and we were dismissed for the day and were told to come back the next day to find out about our teams.

Though, when I look back at it now, it was the last day I could really say I was a child. The last day I could recall being truely free and happy.

We celebrated at home, we went out for dinner, the whole works, but then when we all got home, Mum and Dad sat me down

"We need to talk." Dad said.

I hate those words. I really hate them.

"Harry." Mum started, sitting down next to Dad. She was wringing her hands and I didn't really understand why at first. "We've not been telling you some things."

Of course, I had been all high on my new career as a ninja, that I thought they were talking about that. "Not telling me what? I didn't really graduate? I'm not actually going to be a Genin?"

"No!" Dad suddenly shouted, chuckling lowly. "No, you've graduated through the first part of the test. It's nothing to do with that, Kiddo." Dad got real solemn then. "Harry, well, there's no real easy way to say this."

"Say what?" I was suddenly very nervous. I didn't do anything real bad did I?

Mom suddenly had tears in her eyes and I didn't understand until Dad funally spoke again. "We're not your parents, Harry. Not your real blood relatives."

_'What?' _I asked mself mentally. Did I hear that right? "...What?" I asked aloud, though, I could tell I was asking very meekly.

Dad pressed on without answering, somewhat. "Your mother can't have children." Dad was speaking softly now, one arm around Mum. "She was poisoned on a mission, a poison meant for me, but she took it to save my life."

I couldn't voice my thoughts. I didn't know what to say and suddenly I felt really bad for even thinking this had something to do about my choice of a job, but I did have one thought that suddenly made it passed my brain before I could think about what it was. "Who ever it was better be dead."

Dad chuckled weakly at that. "Yeah. Good and gone."

"Good!" I snarled savagely. "No one hurts my Mum and gets away with it." Yeah, 'm the real protective kid, the wannabe Genin thinking he could protect his Jounin Mum.

"Going on..." Dad smiled a little and gave Mum a kiss on the cheek. "It didn't really matter to me, y'know? But that's getting ahead of things. A few years after that happened, the entire village was hired out for a war. It was pretty much a stalemate on all fronts. One day, I was on my way to pick up two of the front runners and finally try and make a decisive strike at the enemy." Dad swallowed suddenly and looked me dead in the eye. "There was an explosion before I got there, and I came across the wreckage of their home."

"Who...who was it?" I blinked, something pulling at the back of my mind.

"I was picking up two people, James and Lily Potter, but as I said, before I got there, an explosion happened. Not even a minute later, I was looking through the wreckage and both were dead." Dad paused then and looked away.

"Dad? Mum?" I asked, looking at them.

"They were your birth parents, dear." Mum said suddenly, breaking into the silence before it got awkward, though that somewhat made it worse. Nevertheless, Mum forged on. "They were killed, and you were the only survivor."

"Why the hell would I be left alive if they were killed?" I didn't call them my parents. My parents sat in front of me, dammit. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Harry." Dad looked at me again suddenly. "Techniques from over there are different than what we learn here. There is one that will kill anyone and anything with just a couple words and a wave of your hand. Sirius told me what it was, but I've seen it used in combat enough. Before that night, you didn't have that scar on your forehead, when I got there, you did."

"I...don't understand?" I really didn't, it was just confusing.

Dad forged on though. He was an old hand at the horrors of life after all. "The War ended that night. The leader of the enemy was the one that attacked the house, he killed James, then used the technique on your...on Lily." There was something in Dad's eyes that spooked me then. Something dark and mad and I would swear that I saw his eyes flash a dark red color. "The bastard then used it on you, and it rebounded, causing the explosion and killing him. This was just a couple months after you turned one year old."

"Wait, wait, back the fuck up..."

"Language!"

"...Sorry Mum. Dad, you're telling me at the age of one, some jerkoff killed my real parents," Both of them cringed at that, but I didn't really notice. "...then he tries to kill me, and manages to blow himself up like an idiot?"

"Pretty much, yeah." Dad nodded.

"So...I took out an A-class criminal as a toddler."

"S-class, by all standards of what he did." Dad nodded again.

"Can I have that on my record, Dad?" I asked hopefully. "I mean, if I'm just that awesome to avenge something like that at the age of one, who knows what I'll be able to pull off once I start actually learning some skills to go with how awesome I am." I was purposely trying to lighten the mood. It didn't help that my...ahem...allergies were acting up.

"Oh Harry!" Mum cried out and lunged at me, wrapping me up in a tight hug.

"Mum, not helping me here." Damn allergies. "Dad, come on...help me out."

"Let it out kiddo." Dad whispered softly, hugging both me and Mum.

So I did.

It was about an hour later that I pulled Dad and Mum out of the House and down to Dad's favorite stand in all of Konoha. Ichiraku's Ramen was run by Ayame-obassan and her mostly retired father. Ayame's husband didn't work at the stand since he couldn't cook Ramen to save his life, and her son wasn't old enough to work there either.

We worked out our differences before we got to the stand for supper. _'No matter what happened in the past, you're both still my parents!'_ I yelled at them once me and Mum stopped crying, and we were back to a regular, if dysfunctional of sorts, family.

Dad ordered an Uzumaki Special, something I had never seen before and I was surprised to watch only old man Teuchi make the Ramen since it was usually he sat back and watched and chatted up the customers. I ordered a Miso with Pork and Mum ordered two of those 'Diet' versions.

I was even more surprised when Dad got his bowl of Ramen. Well, more like in awe at the size of the bowl, something easily four times the size of my own.

After the meal was said and done, we caught sight of Padfoot walking down the street with Hyuuga Hinata. Apparently they just finished their date and were all smiles with each other. Padfoot seemed to note the somber mood us three Namikaze were in and he must've convinced Hinata-sama to walk with us. Mum did manage to push some manners into me, even if Dad fought her tooth and nail on it.

"Oh yes, that reminds me." Padfoot finally spoke up. "Harry should be recieving his letter soon." He noted to Dad in an aside out of the blue.

"Ah, that's actually in my office. It came this morning when Ino was yelling at him this morning." Dad responded cheekily.

"Letter?" I asked, knowing full well I was frowning again.

"Yep. It's to a school from where I used to live. I went there when I was a kid." Padfood grinned slightly, but then faltered when it seemed like he wanted to add in something else to say.

"We told him about an hour ago, Sirius. It's alright." Mum spoke, pulling me closer into a half hug.

"Ah. Yeah, I went there, was in the same year as James and Lily, Moony and..._Him_." Padfoot sounded like he really didn't want to say that guy's name, whomever He was. "It's sorta like the Academy here, but with a set of dedicated classes."

"Well, I obviously can't go if I'm graduating and becoming a Genin." I pointed out.

"About that." Dad said, a little sheepishly. "If you do go, it'd be classified as a mission, or missions in the records."

I frowned again, I knew I did. "But what about my team?"

"You're an early graduate, also outside of the standard grads, you're an additional number so there's really no fresh teams to put you on." Dad spoke as if he was talking to a crowd. He really did like his grandstanding in front of his Jounin. "Besides, you'll get to learn skills that most other Ninja can't learn. Think of it as your own special Bloodline."

"Dad, I've already got two of those. I really don't want a third." I was complaining, sure. Who the hell else had three natural Bloodlines? I know the old lady that ran Mist had two natural in her Elemental Limits, and Uncle Sasuke technically had two if you counted his Blaze techniques. I was already freaky enough, I didn't want to be even weirder.

"Most Ninja would kill for those too." Dad chided me and I just stuck my tongue out at him.

"Yes, yes. I know Anko-san constantly wishes she could steal one of them." I grumbled. Anko was the village's crazy snake lady. Kinda like some civilians were crazy cat ladies really.

Mum rounded on Dad at that. "I thought I told you to keep her away from him!"

"Hai, hai." Dad winced. "Ino-chan, she follows orders as well as I do."

"Hmph." Mum turned and grabbed my hand, walking away from the others.

"Aw, come on Mum. She never does anything. Really she just makes fun of her sensei-turned-traitor." I grumbled, trying to pull my hand from her grip, which was no going.

"Really?" Mum looked down at me, trying to find something she could use.

"Honest." I nodded solemnly.

"Oh, fine." Mm threw her hands up into the air and stalked back to Dad while Padfoot laughed out loud and Hinata-sama had an odd smile on her face. "Hinata. Tomorrow we're going shopping. Girls day out!"

"Sakura-san has tomorrow off?" I heard Hinata ask and then promptly ignored the rest of the conversation to look at Padfoot.

"You!" I declared pointing my finger at him boldly.

"Me?" He asked, blinking.

"Yes, you!" I nodded resolutely.

"What?" Padfoot asked.

"I dunno. Just felt like pointing at you and making a declaration." I shrugged.

"Cheeky brat." Padfoot snorted and then looked at Dad for a moment and then back at me again. "Nice job on Iruka today, by the way."

"I'm just that awesome." I said with an air of assurance, waving it off as if it was nothing.

"Really?" Padfoot grinned maliciously. I suddenly didn't want to see where this conversation was going to head. "Have you tested that ability of yours?"

"Uhh, beyond pointing out massive perverts?" I asked, suddenly confused.

"Beyond that, of course." Padfoot nodded seriously...Heh.

"Where are you taking this, Sirius?" Dad asked speculatively.

"Why, a prank, of course." Padfoot grinned. "You've told me it's a full transformation since it's an altered one with different seals and Chakra useage, right?"

"Yeah, so?" I could tell me and Dad were both confused. I was also suddenly glad that Mum was chatting with Hinata-sama animatedly. We were safe as long as they didn't find out about whatever this was going to be. Or, well, at least I'd be safe. Best to disavow any kind of knowledge ahead of any kind of event.

"They're expecting Harry, a boy. Not Harry the girl." Padfoot grinned like had won a prize. "To be honest, I did a scan when you were showing the kiddo the technique and you were absolutely right. It confused even my checks."

I blinked, still slightly lost before realization hit me and I turned a little green. "No offense, Pads, but I don't want to be a girl."

"Think of it as recon." Padfoot snarked back, playing to my sense of curiosity. "No man alive knows what the girl's dorm is like. You'd be doing all of us a really huge favor." Padfoot looked completely serious again, probably waiting for someone to make a joke about his name. I refused to play into that nonsense!

"Really?" I drawled out, looking at Dad to notice he was actually giving the idea some merit. "No thanks." I said adamantly.

"Chakra exercise." Dad suddenly said and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Don't make me call Mum." I growled.

"Oh, she'd totally go along with it actually." Dad grinned merrily at me and I had the sinking suspicion he was right. "She'd get to dress up her little darling in girl's clothing."

Left unsaid was that I knew they had always wanted a daughter, I just never knew before today that my parents couldn't have kids. Also left unsaid was that I really wanted a little sister too...

"Fine." I threw up my hands in annoyance. "But I'm going with Dad's reason, not yours, Padfoot."

"You say that now, but when you get older, you'll see the light." Padfoot said grandly.

"Pfft, whatever." I promptly ignored him and looked at Dad, waiting for an explination. "Well?"

"As I said, a Chakra exercise. Keeping up the transformation for a prolongued length of time to increase your chakra coils while also working on your control in a subtle way. You just need to alter the transformation ever so slightly." Dad started talking to himself in that last part. I'm told he's got a thing for the estoric and odd when it comes to various Jutsu of any kind, even going over the odder points with Uncle Sasuke who seemed to ignore Dad as much as he possibly could.

"So...less Oomph, no need to alter clothing to smoke and the like?" I asked with a small sigh.

"Yeah." Dad said distractedly before suddenly looking at me sharply. "No using _Kage Bunshin_ either, you hear me? I don't want a repeat like last time."

"Yes Dad. I promise that I won't try and use _Kage Bunshin_ while I'm not under strict supervision. Speaking of which, I'm done stage two now." I snorted in response

"What? Already? I just got you started on that yesterday! Ino! Our son is scaring me!" Dad called over to Mum who just gave him the strangest look.

"Quit being a big baby, Naruto. You're the Hokage for Kami's sake." Mum replied, finally catching up with Hinata as we finished making our way back home. "Harry, dear, why is your Father being a big wuss?"

"I'm done stage two." I shrugged slightly. "It wasn't that hard."

"Hah!" Mum grinned, holding out her hand to Dad. "I told you I'd win. You owe me fifty."

"You bet on me?" I was suddenly aghast.

"Of course." Mum responded. "Though, your Father hardly ever loses any kind of bet. He second guessed himself when I bet you could do it faster than Konohamaru."

"Faster than Dad's advisor? Wait, he knows it too?" I blinked, frowning at Dad who looked a little sheepish.

"Ah, I taught it to him not long after I learned it back when I was twelve." Dad tried to defend his actions but I wasn't seeing any of it.

"Thanks a lot, dad." I snorted.

"Hey now. My Dad took 3 years to invent it, I learned it in just over a month, Konohamaru learned it in over three weeks...I didn't think you'd be starting Stage Three when you were just beginning week two."

"See." I pointed out. "I told you I was awesome, this just proves how much more awesome I am, beating out the Hokage." I nodded resolutely.

"Two of them, dear." Mum stated, pointing to the Fourth Face on the mountain of the Six. "Yondaime was the one whom invented it."

"What about Sandaime?" I suddenly asked, remembering my latest history lesson about one of the greatest Shinobi to ever live.

Dad spoke at that. "The Old Man knew every technique in the village." Dad was unusually somber. "Heh, knowing him, he probably had it down in a single day."

"Really?" I asked, a little in awe, reading about it in class was one thing, but hearing about it from your Father who had the same job was quite different.

"I'll tell you more when we get home, alright?" Dad said with a soft smile and I nodded. "Well, Hinata-chan, I'll see you tomorrow morning. We're going over the teams tomorrow. Bring Hanabi."

"Sure thing, Hokage-sama." Hinata said with a faint smile before giving Dad a faint bow. I heard Dad chuckle weakly as I watched Padfoot give Hinata-sama a kiss on the cheek.

That night, I was told a grand story about one of the greatest warriors the Elemental Nations had ever had, what Dad knew about his life in the Second and Third wars, to his eventual death defending what he loved the most at the hands of his formerly prized student.

At that point, I might not have been the greatest ninja, or even the greatest person, but now I had a new goal in life. I might not have ever met the Sandaime, but my new focus on life was to try and do things that might've made him look at me like I thought he would've looked at Dad.

I vowed then and there to always protect my precious people, my home, and everyone dear. I swore on my name, my life, and everything in my power to do what I could.

It was probably both the best and worst promise I've ever made.

* * *

"Okay, so what is this thing again? Because it looks like a normal sandal to me." I looked at Dad with a blank look in my eyes and watched as Dad snickered at me.

"It's called a _Portkey_." Dad said, the last word coming out really weird to me, but I had been taking lessons over the last while with Padfoot, even if the language was incomprehensible.

"And it's something like your Hirashin?" I asked, still frowning.

"Of a sort, yes. However, this thing can take along whomever is touching it and touching the person." Dad said with a shrug.

"Then how come it doesn't take the floor or the house with it?" I asked, even more confused.

"Hell if I know. You'll be learning all sorts of weird things like this over the next several years." Dad said with a shrug. "Thankfully, you'll be back on this...summer vacation, Sirius calls it, for the Chuunin Exams. Now, it'll activate when I say a codeword, and it'll activate and bring us home when I say a different word, then it'll no longer be any good."

"These would make a killing on missions. Pop in the place, get your mission done, and pop back." I beamed at the sandal, which still didn't look anything special.

"Well, true, but they take time to make, and really...well...you'll see." Dad looked at me. "I don't have much of a problem because of the Kyuubi, but...well.." he trailed off again. "Anyway, you ready to go? Got your list of things to buy and everything?"

"Yes sir." I stuck my tongue out at him before asking something that was bothering me. "Who's going to watch things while you're gone?"

"Why, Sirius, of course." Dad grinned at me suddenly before speaking a word quickly before I could retort, "Diagonally." I felt a pull at my stomach, a lurching sound and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground, ready to heave out my breakfast.

"Dad, that was fucking horrible." I retched again, barely able to keep my stomach in. "I feel like Aunt Inocho had a few rounds with my gut."

"It does feel similiar to that, doesn't it?" Dad asked me mildly. "Now, we're gonna meet up with an old friend of mine who's going to give us something before we go...ah, there he is. Hagrid, over here!" Dad waved down a man from the distance.

However, when I finally noticed the distance this Hagrid guy was at, and how tall he was when he got closer, my eyes had gone wideeyed. I almost checked my face for my old glasses to see if I was actually imagining things, but nope. This Hagrid guy was huge. About twice the size of Old Ibiki back home. "Kuso, he's huge." I murmured.

"Language, kiddo." Dad chided.

"You didn't mind the first time." I grumbled.

Dad grinned and ruffled my brown hair. "Just keeping up apperances, kiddo. Now keep your headband on over your scar. We don't want to gain more attention outside of being total foreigners. Now here's Hagrid, be polite to the man."

"Hai hai." I nodded.

I had to strain my neck upwards to look at Hagrid, the man smiling brightly down at me before speaking with Dad in that strange language Padfoot was still teaching me.

"_How's ya doin' Naruto?_"

_"Pretty good, Hagrid. You got that thing I asked for?"_

_"Ye'ap. Was right where y'said it'd be an' all that. Brought it to the Headmaster and he made me a duplicate for'y."_

_"Thanks Hagrid, I'll take the dupe and give Harry the original for now."_

I didn't understand a single damn thing they were saying, but Dad suddenly eyed me as he was given what looked like two hoops about the thickness of one of my fingernails. "This is gonna hurt a little, kiddo."

I frowned at him for a moment as his fist blurred and I felt a burning sensation in my ear, and then heat and finally I could tell blood was dripping from my ear. "Fuck. Ow! Dad! What the hell?"

"Oh, quit whining." Dad said good naturedly as his hands glowed green for a split second and the pain went away. "I had to pierce your ear, and didn't want to wait until it was guaged large enough to fit this."

"Still. Kami. Did you have to rip a hole in my ear?"

"Two holes, actually." Dad grinned wildly. "It won't fall out when you're asleep like mine sometimes did. It's large enough that it fits right into your ear and doesn't look obtrusive. Now think the word _English_ for me."

"_English_? Isn't that what Padfoot is teaching me? Oh wait a second, whoa...I'm speaking it too." I blinked and looked at Dad and Hagrid for confirmation.

"Aye, soun' like a natural Englishman now, I do say." Hagrid said, which I could actually understand. There was a bit of accent to his words, but they seemed to be filtered out byt...something or another. The earring maybe?

"It was a gift to me from James." Dad said with a sad smile and I grabbed his hand. "Now I gift it to you. My comprehension of the language has dulled over the past decade, but I'll pick it up soon enough."

"Or you could just get your fancy clones to go read everything in sight." I snorted.

"There's that, too, yeah." He grinned at me. "Alright then, Hagrid. Thanks for the help, but I can take it from here, I know my way around."

"Alright. I have t'pick somethin' up at Gringotts. You'll be needin' to head there to, right?" Hagrid asked.

"Yeah, point. let's all head there then." Dad nodded. "I need to make some adjustments to my vault and to the kid's as well."

"Ah, you be needin' his key?" Hagrid asked, though, it seemed to me that he was a little nervous.

"Nah." Dad grinned slyly. "Now, kiddo, don't be rude, alright?"

"Rude about what?" I asked.

Dad just looked me straight in the eye, it wasn't something he did all that often, only when he was dead serious. "Gringotts is run by Goblins. They can be pretty nasty, or very nice, depending on how they perceive you. Also, we will not be speaking your name while we're here anymore. As I said, I don't want to draw attention, and you're pretty popular around here."

"I am pretty awesome." I agreed, but nodded anyway. "I'll keep my mouth shut and take it out on Padfoot when we get home."

The trip to Gringotts in of itself wasn't all that eventual. They took Hagrid off somewhere while me and Dad waited a bit, they wanted some blood for something I didn't understand, but they were being unfainlingly polite to Dad for some reason while the rest of the customers in the store were treated rather rudely. "Dad, why're you so popular here?" I asked softly when we were left alone in a room.

"They're afraid of me." Dad responded simply.

"Why? Because you're so outstandlingly epic...or because you're a menace from the mists?"

"Why, both of those reasons of course. And secret option number three to boot." Dad nodded sagely as he leaned in to whisper. "I used the cheat codes. Up, up, down, down, and all that."

"Dad. You're a nerd." I stated blandly.

"Hey. Videogames are fun." He retorted.

"That's because you can play them while your clones do all the work." I whispered furiously. Admittedly, I was a little jealous that dad had one of those famicom's hooked up in the office. I heard him talking to his clones once how one called the super famicom was coming out back home really soon to boot...and honestly, I wouldn't mind giving it a try. The Role Playing Games were kinda interesting in their stories, since the others were all kinda bland once you learned the patterns.

Of course, my father also writes the second generation of Ichi Ichi, so I really don't know what to say about interesting storylines.

Finally, a Goblin walked back in, looking the two of us over for a moment. "Mr. Namikaze. Mr...Namikaze." He looked like he struggled with that when he looked at me.

"Thank you." Dad said grandly. "Your discretion is, as usual, much appreciated."

"Of course." The goblin grumbled. "I am Hookshatter. The runner of your account. Would you like me to fetch your ward's accountant as well?"

"No need for that. I'll actually be shutting my son's smaller vault down and moving it directly into mine." Dad stated as if it was something simple.

"And the other vaults in his name?" Hookshatter grumbled, looking at me over wireframe glasses.

"Disallow any sort of transactions without his strictest approval. I don't need a statement of who's been using, though I'm sure several people have had access to it." Dad stated.

"Done and done." Hookshatter nodded. "Statements for your own accounts?"

"No need for that. I can't stand paperwork." Dad grumbled

"Ah, a sentiment we both share." Hookshatter seemed to sneer, but I finaly noticed it was actually a smile.

"The bane of existance. I say we burn it all to the ground." Dad finally said with a smile of his own. "I'll be needing some galleons for purchases today, enough for a few sets of school supplies, and a few other things."

"Perhaps a Transaction Bag?" Hookshatter asked. "Access your galleons straight from your account. Tuned to your person, if someone happens to chance by it it'll tune itself to their account so that no theft occurs."

"Now that is a brilliant idea."

"Anything else?"

"I do believe we have an accord."

"Very well then, Mr. Namikaze. A pleasure it's been, though, no offense, but I wish to never see you again." Hookshatter bowed deeply.

"I'll try to stay home as much as possible and not bring my tenant around."

"Thank you Mr. Namikaze. Your bag will be waiting for you at the exit with a guard."

With that, we both left, I slightly in awe at what had just gone on. It was interesting to say the least. Once we were both outside and Dad had taken his bag from the guard , he turned to me and looked down. "Alright. How long can you hold your _Kage Bunshin_?"

"Ah, in a spar, about five minutes with two." I answered truthfully, even though I shouldn't've been able to even do that.

"Not bad then." He looked at me. "Create one and have it do the _Henge_, just body, not full clothing and all that."

"Why don't I just transform?" I asked with a frown.

"Because I'm expanding on the idea. Your clone will go as a female, and you will attend as male." Dad said softly. "That way you'll be able to use both sets of clothing your mother bought, and you'll be working on your chakra, recon, and generally get double out of your classes. Faster learning and whatnot, 'ne?"

"Huh, that's a good idea. Now where to first?"

"Clone first."

"Fine."

I sighed as we stepped into a dark alleyway and I did the handseal to the _Kage Bunshin_ and out popped a clone that promptly turned female and looked at Dad oddly.

"Hm. Maybe we should make a few additional changes."

"Like?" We both asked, looking at each other.

"Well, your clone will be named Rose, alright? Now change your hair red and your eyes brown. Make your hair a bit longer, alright, now tan your complexion a little more." My clone named Rosed did exactly that. "Good..." Dad trailed off wistfully and looked away for a second, me and Rose exchanging glances and shrugging.

"What's wrong...uhh...Dad?" Rose asked, hesitantly.

"Just remembering things, Rose." Dad said with a faint smile.

"Like what, Dad?" I asked.

"You look like James, with Lily's eyes." He stated blandly. "Rose is the opposite. Looks like Lily but has James' eyes."

"...Sorry, Dad." We both murmured.

"It's fine you two." Dad said softly, wrapping both of us up into a hug. Sure, Rose was just me under a transformation...but still... "Now let's go get your wand...or maybe even wands."

"...Wands? What?" We were both, understandably, confused.

Dad looked at us and cracked a wide grin. "Forgot to tell you that, huh? Yep. Wands. Like that twig that Sirius is always waving around."

"Seriously? He's been using a little twig to negate all my revenge pranks?"

"Yep."

"That...that...that magnificent bastard!" I shouted, a little in awe and the urge to learn whatever the hell this was was growing.

Rose just snorted, and then realized she was supposed to be pretending to be a girl before she let off a half attempt at a giggle that ended badly. "Well, come on then...uhh, bro...and Dad. Man, this is hard, I keep having the urge to call you Boss." Rose frowned.

"I'm sure you'll get over it." I shrugged. "I wonder how long we can keep you going."

"It's going to need to be all day long once we start school in a week." Rose pointed out. "So that means chakra control and building exercises and as many as we can do."

We continued on our way to Ollivanders, which Dad said was pretty good of a place, stepping into the shop, and we were blasted with the smell of wood of different types. It was kind of interesting really.

"Ah, good afternoon Mr. Namikaze." A voice called out from the darkness so suddenly that me and Rose whipped out kunai and went back to back. "My, they seem energetic."

"Ollivander." Dad said neutrally.

"I've been expecting you for a while now." Ollivander spoke neutrally, his tone flat, dead, and near emotionless for a moment, reminding me of Uncle Sai when he was telling stories about what he used to be like. The look Ollivander shot me and Rose was kind of freaky too. "I see, how very intriguing. I don't think I've had any of your kind around here before." That was specifically directed at Rose.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rose asked angrily, just like I would've if it had been directed at me.

"I'm sure you know." Ollivander stated. "I won't pry, however, as I said, it is rather intriguing." He then looked from me to Dad and back again. "Alright then, hold out your wand hands."

"Uh, we're ambidexterous." I stated while Rose nodded.

A bunch of different tape measures suddenly floated into the air, giving us both various measurements, and I thought it was extra weird. Chakra strings? No, it wasn't that, I'd be able to feel the chakra if that was it. "Then the one you use the most." Ollivander cracked a faint smile when I held out my right while Rose held out her left. "As I thought." He stated blandly while shuffling back further into his shop, carrying with him a few boxes. "A wizard, or a witch, will do adequate with most any wand, but work best with their own." He opened up a box, handing me the first one. "Well, go on, give it a wave."

I did, and something near the shop window exploded, before I even noticed, Ollivander snapped the wand from my hand and put it back in the box. "No, that certainly won't do."

"Er...sorry?" I stated.

"It is of no consequence. I can repair minor things like that with ease." Ollivander shrugged and we went through the next few sets of wands, some of which he took back before I even had a chance to wave them.

"Curious and inttriguing, I must say..." Ollivander had said after about fiftenn minutes. "But I do have an idea. One I do not quite like, but one I truely understand." The man talked in half words and riddles and it was starting to get on my nerves. "One moment. I do believe I understand a match for you." With that, the old man disappeared into the back, carrying out a delicate box which I opened up to have a good look at, slowly grasping the stick.

It felt...different, when I compared it to the rest. The other wands had all felt like just plain wood, or off somehow. The sensation of this one was different, totally different, and yet, somehow...right. I gave it a wave and outshot sparks of various coors, cascading and dancing through the air rather delightfully. I must admit, it was a rather beautiful thing to me.

"Yes, curious and curious. That, young man, is a what we call a twin wand. Of Holly and Phoenix Feather. I remember selling it's brother years upon years ago to a rather young and serious boy. It was made of Yew, and a Phoenix Feather from the bird which gave yours. The owner used it for many great and terrible things...one use of which was to give you that mark upon your forehead." Ollivander paused. "He used it for many great things. Yes. Terrible, but great." Ollivander, to me, looked like had lost it completely. He then rounded on Rose and gave her a critical look, his eyes seemed to be piercing her as he looked at her forehead which was also covered by a headband, much like mine.

"Now, you will need to come up with an impressive story to back that up. Come now, Young One, let us find you a suitable wand as well." Ollivander went into the back and didn't come out for a few minutes, this time carrying an assortment of old and musty boxes.

In the end, Rose took longer than I did for a wand. Thankfully of which, no one had shown up. Finally, she stopped with a wand that Ollivander said was odd, quite odd.

"This has chakra infused into it." Rose said gently as she held the wand between her hand. "Most of the others didn't." She continued on, which I noted, she was right. Even mine didn't have chakra infused into it.

"Yes. I recieved small source of wood many years ago from in red armor and long black hair. I know not what kind of wood it is, but I made a single wand out of it, it is one of my few multiple core wands. Thestral and unicorn hair spun together and coated in phoenix tears. A most odd wand indeed. Seven Inches, rather flexible too. I know not what it would be good for, but it will work well for whatever it is you may need." Ollivander nodded and quoted the price to Dad who simply paid without a word.

On the way out of the door, I heard Ollivander mutter softly. "To understand life and death, and be apart of the very process. Intriguing...most intriguing."

Once the three of us were clearly out of earshot, I looked at Dad for a moment and declared. "I am never going back there for as long as I possibly can. That man creeped me out."

"Ollivander was always different." Dad nodded. "Considering he had retrieved a block of wood from Shodaime himself, that's really more of an understatement."

"Well, it does say 'Fine Wands since 382 B.C.' Maybe he's the same guy?" Rose asked.

"That would be...wow. I'm glad Orochi-teme never met the guy or anyone on this side of the world." Dad said with a shake of his head. "Next is either the books, or the clothes."

"Books." Was my response.

"Uh, I guess I'm supposed to say clothes, but I'd really prefer the books too." Rose pointed out. "Man, pretending to be a girl is a bit harder than I thought."

"You could act like Mum when we went shopping?" I pointed out.

Rose just stared at me for a moment before shuddering. "I think I'll be a Tomboy, thanks much."

"I knew my good influence would win out in the end." Dad crowed. "Let's go get those books then."

So we passed by Madam Malkins, I took note of the blond kid inside, but after that, paid him no heed. Dad paid for three sets of books so he could have his own to look at while we were at home at Flourish and Botts. After that, we picked up a couple of weird suitcases, then picked up our robes and then a few more odds and ends for school and extra to go over. The odd part, to me, was a Cauldron and the assorted stuff for brewing potions. I had some experience with poisons because of the crazy snake lady took it on herself to show me on the weekends.

A couple hours later, we were all done, and I looked at Rose and then Dad with a sigh. "I'm starting to run dry, Dad. I think I used more chakra than normal with Rose."

"Aw, man." Rose sighed. "Guess that means I'm out for the day."

"We'll see what we can do tomorrow when we're home, alright?" Dad said with a smile and tapped Rose on the forehead. "I've been working on something for Chakra injections, so I might be able to help."

"Make sure Sakura-san is there then." Rose deadpanned and I agreed.

"Yeah, we remember the last experiment you did. I was in traction for a month."

"Yeah, Ino was pissed at me for a few months after that." Dad chuckled and rubbed my hair. "Though, it worked in the end, right?"

"Yeah, yeah." I snorted. "Are we ready to go home now?"

"Yep. Rose set down your things and pop yourself. I'll take all of it."

"Thanks, Dad." Rose said sweetly and grinned wickedly at me. "Uh, have fun, Harry." Rose set down the luggage she was holding and gave Dad and me a jaunty salute, her wand still in hand, before disappearing into a puff of smoke.

Dad picked up the luggage and I realized something absently. "Dad?"

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"Where's her wand?"

"Uh, it's not there on the ground?"

"Nope."

"Weird."

"Maybe we should ask Padfoot?"

"Yeah, Sirius might understand. Ready to go back?"

"Yeah."

"Alright then, grab hold."

I frowned a little, there was something off about the entire situation, it felt as if something was missing and wrong somehow. I looked at my wand and shrugged for a moment before dropping it into one of my pockets before grabbing ahold of Dad as he spoke the phrase to get us home.

"The Will of Fire."

A pull at my navel, the sudden sense of turning, and this time I found the darkness of oblivion...

* * *

"Huzzawha?"

"Oh Harry!"

...Mum...?

"Well, we're never doing that again."

...Who was speaking?

"Naruto, what happened to my baby?"

"Calm down, dear."

Mum and Dad?

"I'm fine..." I think I mumbled out.

"Chakra exhaustion, general fatigue, he's recovering faster than most." I heard another voice, a bit more clinical. "He should still be unconcious for the next several hours." I opened my eyes to see Sakura-san bending over me, looking me full in the face. "Ah, you're awake. Welcome back to the waking world, Harry-kun."

"Said I was fine." I mumbled out, trying to sit up, but a single finger held me down rather easily.

"You'll stay in bed until I say so." Sakura-san said with a faint smile, one of those scary ones she used to get Dad to do whatever it was she wanted.

"Yes ma'am." I mumbled, looking around the room, rubbing my eyes to clear the blurriness. I could see Mum and Dad, Sakura-san obviously, even Hinata-sama and Padfoot were there. "I don't think I like those Portkey things."

Sirius walked forth a little and pulled out his stick, no...wand and gave it a bit of a wave. "Your core seems to be taking care of the chakra exhuastion, that's something at least."

"...Core?" I asked, giving a puzzled look that Sakura shared.

"_You didn't let him read his letter_?"

"_I thought it'd be funnier if he went in cold_." Dad said sheepishly. "_I really didn't think the Portkey would be that bad for him_."

"_Smooth, Naruto. Sometimes I think you're more barmy than Dumbledore_." Padfoot continued.

"_Why are you two speaking in English_?" I asked.

"Uhh..."

Padfoot switched back to the first language I learned and sighed heavily. "The Academy you'll be attending is Hogwarts..."

"Hogwarts?" I interupted.

Dad nodded. "Yep."

"Stupid name." Was my conclusion.

"They've got a fascination with pigs and silly puns." Dad nodded again and chuckled.

"Oh. Well, go on then Pads." I concluded

Padoot looked at me and Dad and smirked a little. "Hogwarts is for witches and wizards to learn magic."

"So I'm a witch?" I asked

"Well, half the time, apparently."

"Wait..." I trailed off, thinking that bit through for a moment before my eyes narrowed. "I'll get you for this Padfoot."

"You'll think I'm your greatest hero once you're older." Padfoot deadpanned back at me.

Mum and Sakura-san were watching with a bit of amusement. Hinata-sama seemed to be even watching on, amused. I felt like I was on display for a moment. "Yeah, that experiment was a success for the most part, actually. That creepy Ollivander guy even got Rose a wand."

"Who's Rose, dear?" Mum asked sweetly.

I was wondering why Dad was giving me warning looks, but Mum had asked. "My _Kage Bunshin_ under a _Henge_. Weird thing was that he'd apparently had someone like Rose stop by before. Weird thing was that her wand had a bit of an odd core and wood...and was also infused with Chakra. It disappeared when she did." I nodded.

I felt the room temperature drop several degrees and I pushed myself back into my bed as I watched Mum just smile sweetly ad Dad. "Naruto, we'll be talking about this later, won't we?"

"Y...yes dear." Dad stammered out.

I thought the entire thing was overly amusing.

"You say her wand disappeared with her?" Padfoot asked with a faint smirk.

I wondered why he had the quirk of his lips, but I nodded. "Couldn't find it anwhere, she was twirling it, then gave me and Dad a salute when she disappeared."

"When you've got your chakra fully back, you'll have to use the technique again. I believe your first _Kage Bunshin_ will always be that personality. I could be mistaken, but you'll have a clone that's specifically stamped with a personality of Rose once _she_ obtains one. Of course, the rest of the clones you're ever able to summon will share your knowledge and such, but she'll eventually be a bit more dominant over the rest of them." Padfoot rubbed his chin, twirling his own wand. "I do believe she'll also require less chakra to summon and maintain. There may be other side effects as well. Your clones shouldn't actually be able to use magic though, from what I've been told and seen of the technique."

I groaned a little. "I don't want a fourth ability to make me stand out here in the Village."

"Well, I do suppose being a Wizard would count as a Bloodline, since it's passed down through blood, though it does happen spontaneously. I'll admit, your letter wouldn't normally find you out here." Padfoot looked at Dad, Mum and then Hinata-sama and Sakura-san. "There might be more magic users in the village, but it'd be a pain to test."

"Some of my forces might just take it as a regular bloodline and use whatever specific ability they first came across and trained with it that way." Dad shrugged. "No need to bother looking through things right away. We'll deal with the kiddo going to a foreign school and see how well that goes first."

"Is the school likely to be dangerous?" Mum asked Padfoot.

"Like any other school." Padfoot nodded. "Instead of kunai and shuriken, the kids are learning spells. Granted, some families teach their kids magic early, and some of it can be pretty nasty stuff."

"Like that killing curse that I reflected through my pure awesome." I put in.

"True enough." Padfoot nodded, grinning a bit more since he had an audience. "Kiddo, your best bet is to always dodge. Never let a single spell touch you, it could be anything and some are worse than others." Padfoot turned very serious.

Dad spoke up suddenly, I noticed his entire attitude had changed. RIght now he wasn't Dad but the leader of my VIllage Hidden Within the Leaf. He was my Boss. "Harry Namikaze. You will treat this as a mission of utmost importance. Officially, this will be recorded as multiple B-Rank missions. Do you understand me?"

"Hai!" I snapped off a salute despite still being in bed.

"Excellent. You are to gain confidants, get the layout of the school memorized. Protect those who need protecting and learn everything you can. Expad as much as you possibly can upon your courseload." Dad turned slightly and looked at Padfoot. "Sirius, will you help my son with what you can?"

"Of course." Padfoot nodded and snapped off his own jaunty salute.

"Sakura-chan, before Harry goes back to Hogwarts within the next couple weeks, will you run him through a couple o' courses?"

I saw my pink-haired doctor get a dangerous glint in her eye. "Dodge Training?"

"What Obaasan put you through." Dad nodded resolutely and my own eyes widened.

'_Kusokusokuso...I'm gonna die!_' I mentally wailed, knowing full well what 'Dodge Training' consisted of.

"Ino, dear. He's going to need to up his mental defences."

"In case some wizards can read his mind?" Mum asked softly, watching both Dad and me, but Padfoot interluded there.

"The Headmaster uses it to keep track of some of the students he's both interested in and those that need watching. So does _Snivellus_." Padfoot nearly spat the last word. "Speaking of which..." He trailed off and looked at me and Dad.

"Yeah, Padfoot?"

"You'll have to decide if you want to go under your current name...and use it to be a bit of a diplomat...or your birth name and be extra undercover, but also be under a bit of extra scrutinity."

"Because I've suddenly resurfaced after all of this time?" I asked softly, getting only a nod at first and silence went throughout the room. I looked at everyone and settled a bit back into the bed and sighed. "Well, since I'm so utterly awesome I can headbutt killing curses, a little scrutinity will just be a bit of minor training to me." I said with a grin.

Mum giggled along with Sakura-san and Hinata-sama. Padfoot grinned like a madman and Dad just nodded.

"That's my boy." He said proudly. "Though, I'm wondering if Hagrid ever did tell that old coot if I took you two in."

Padfoot blinked a few times. "You mean you've had no contact?"

"Not once." Dad shrugged. "I sent the old coot some letters, but never got a response. He knows it was Peter and all that too."

"Well, everyone out." Sakura-san finally put in. I gave her a confused look and she just smirked at me. "The patient needs rest, and all of you talking isn't going to help him any."

"That came out awkward." I mumbled and then shut up when I saw Sakura-san brandishing a fist. "I'll be good." I retorted to the fist with a grin.

Everyone acknowledged what Sakura-san had said with a few farewells. Dad and Padfoot grinned wildly at me and Mum gave me a hug before I was left alone to contemplate the begining of my school year in just about two months.

Yes...this was going to be utter Hell and to be honest? I couldn't wait.

* * *

Story notes:

Harry recieved his letter early because he's officially an adult of his society.

Naruto is the Rokudaime, Tsunade can either be retired or have died of old age. Either/Or. Naruto is also in his early to mid 30s and obviously married to Ino.

Sakura is single, though dates various males on the side.

Itachi Uchiha is the son of a reformed Sasuke Uchiha, also the Uchiha heir. His mother is TenTen.

Sirius dates a bunch of women, but seems to enjoy a Hinata with a Backbone.

Also, this is totally unbeta'd or researched, I know what Ollivander said is completely wrong.

About Rose: Kage Bunshin are Chakra constructs, but he accidentally fused her with some of his magic, specifically that of Voldemort's forced core, They share traits obviously, both are Pareselmouth's and such.

Harry's 'Bloodlines', well one is talking to Snakes, the second is his Magic, Rose could technically be the 'fourth'. The mysterious third one is anyone's guess, but there needs to be some foreshadowing, right?

When Harry starts school, either in the next chapter or third, have his Genin training being shown in chapter 2 if otherwise I'd say, have The Hat allude to the Rikkudo Sennin when he comes across Rose. If she goes by Namikaze, she won't get sorted until last, but she'll go under the hat when she gets called. It'll mess with the staff.

No character bashing. Sorting will probably follow canon, third year needs something impressive to deal with the fact that Sirius hasn't gone insane from Dementors. Maybe have the Ministry have him as an outlaw anyway. Dumbledore shouldn't be a manipulative jerkoff either. As for Naruto's letters? Intercepted? Read and ignored? Answers just somehow didn't make it through? Rose also goes where Harry goes due to her Chakra nature.


	3. Naruto as an Archer

In a small clearing stood a few trees with targets hanging from them. Straw men painted with a target right in the center with a bullseye at dead center. Normally the clearing would be empty, but at that point there was a small boy with blonde hair and blue eyes using the targets for practice. Kunai and shuriken were almost everywhere around the three trees. In the bark, the grass nearby; everywhere in fact except the bullseye on the targets themselves. One Naruto Uzumaki was trying to use the Academy taught stance to hit a target and had been using the stance they told him was correct for years now. They were always having to correct him whenever he started to slip, which was constantly.

"Feh." The ten year old boy complained as he looked down at his remaining shuriken and kunai in hand.

None of the instruments of death were his own, they were part of the training field and one simply couldn't leave with them due to seals inscribed on each and everyone of them.

Nevertheless, the boy kept trying to correct his aim with the stance he had been taught, practicing it for hours and hours on end, day in and day out, just like his experiments to make a proper clone, things just weren't turning out for the boy. Worst of all, his shoulders were starting to hurt from all the throwing.

Another overhanded throw, the shuriken going falling way to short and landing closest of all and Naruto closed his eyes in anger. Fuming and cursing rather impressively for a ten year old, he tried another and another and another.

Eventually, the boy was on his last weapon, a single kunai.

"Don't know why I bother." He muttered eventually, staring down at the small blade, his eyes staring through the hoop on the end and down to the ground. Eventually he just shrugged it off.

Naruto simply didn't care anymore. He dropped from the throwing stance Mizuki-sensei had shown him and let out a low sigh, just closing his eyes. Finally the boy just turned away, his arm moving automatically while he didn't even think of throwing the stupid thing, the blade leaving his hand with a snap of his wrist as he walked away.

His gaze flickered to the mountain for a moment, the bad mood from trying to throw properly starting to alleviate as a plan to paint the Monument started to formulate.

As Naruto walked off from the training field, to lost in the massive idea that would take him close to two years to pull off, he didn't look back at his target, sure enough in his failure.

Naruto Uzumaki, Dead Last of the Shinobi Academy, didn't notice the perfect bullseye he had finally made.

_**The Kitsune Archer**_

_Almost Three Years after the Kyuubi Incident:_

Hiruzen Sarutobi puffed away at his pipe as he made his way up the stairs to a specific room to visit one of the youngest orphans of the village. He made the trip daily, just to check in on the boy and make sure everything was moving smoothly. He had his finest ANBU on a rotating shift, making sure that only the most trusted of his shinobi were watching the boy and making sure nothing undue happened. It was both for the boy's benefit and to appease others of the village.

There was a secret hatred deep within the Village Hidden Within The Leaf. It festered and grew, but nothing had happened as of yet since the boy seemed just like any other, but all of the adults knew better.

The little orphan boy was the Jinchuuriki of the Bijuu Kyuubi no Youko, and as such, was massively disliked for what happened almost three years previously on October 10th. Of course, it wasn't the boys fault, but people needed a scrapegoat and they feared what they didn't know.

Frankly, it was ridiculous to the old Shinobi. His predecessor had treated the Bijuu like overly large pets. When one broke free, his own wife offered up her body as a Container; she was treated like Kami had come to live them, just mere mortals in the presence of divinity. Of course, that attitude seems to have reversed with the third container. So, due to that, Sarutobi made sure the boy was unassuming as all could be, doing whatever he could to make sure the child wouldn't stand out in abilities.

After all, the people wouldn't believe him a demon if he didn't have extraordinary skills, right?

It came to some shock as Sarutobi stepped into the room, flanked by the the two weekly replacement ABU, that the little boy was happily throwing around anything he could get his hands on. The toddler was but two years old and had more energy than most, and was grabbing his little blocks and stuffed animals and seemingly throwing them at random. It took the third Hokage only a second to realize that little Naruto was throwing his toys at makeshift targets.

A little ball bounced perfectly into a space made by blocks.

A small stuffed toad was thrown softly right next to another and sat next to it perfectly.

Five blocks were stacked, in order nontheless, with small expert tosses that accompied a little boy's insane giggles of enjoyment.

The ANBU made no comment, but did watch as their shifts exchanged, leaving their Hokage to watch the boy in wonderment.

After a few moments of watching Naruto play throw things with an unnerving accuracy, Sarutobi silently cursed to himself. He quietly glided closer, catching Naruto's attention suddenly.

"Jiijii!" the boy exclaimed with a bright smile stretching across his face, but he didn't stop his throwing antics until the stack was seven blocks high, the last with a underhanded lob that the blode shouldn't've been able to do.

Sarutobi smiled, though he was inwardly cursing as he knelt down next to the boy, holding out his hands to get a good look at the always moving child, his own eyes widening as he saw something he shouldn't have. Naruto's left eye, normally blue was now completely white with several black marks in some strange design. Despite that smile on Sarutobi's face as he brought the boy in for a quick hug, his mind was quickly working overtime. He had managed to hide the boy's true heritage from everyone else in the village, and this might help, but it would also garner him attention that he didn't want Naruto to have.

He was suddenly very thankful for his three students ideas when it came to seals, especially Jiraiya and his own student. A plan formulated in his mind and Sarutobi gave a few quick calculations, making several one handed seals before chopping Naruto in the back of the head with his free hand. Catching the boy easily as he slumped down, Sarutobi pulled the back of Naruto's shirt down whilemaking several more seals before pressing his hand between Naruto's shoulderblades.

Sarutobi gently lifted Naruto up and brought him over to the small makeshift bed with sides on it and laid the boy down, letting him sleep peacefully.

"I hope I did the right thing..." Sarutobi finally mused to himself after he left. The seal would break on it's own after Naruto was done at the Academy, he was sure.

==========X==========

"Fuck." Naruto cursed to himself as he looked down at the gear given to him and then to the area towards the targets. He was almost eleven, on his second time through the last year at the academy since he had failed the graduation exam for the first time. For the past year, Naruto Uzumaki had been pretty much well skipping classes and gathering the materials he needed for his 'biggest and bestest plan ever' as was marked down when he was ten. He was still in a class of people not his own age, instead with those a year older than him. He'd also come to the realization that some of the teachers were trying to screw him over.

The only two that seemed legit were Mizuki-sensei and Iruka-sensei, even if Iruka was a bit of a hardass and always seemed to find him and the others when they went off gallavanting around the village during class.

Neverthless, he'd give it his best, and threw the first shuriken very carefully. He was finally getting the hang of all the offweight and heavy gear he'd been given and could at least hit the targets lately. The first shuriken at least made it to the target, but ended up only nicking the very edge of the target.

The normally carefree looking boy cursed again, this time loud enough for the students near enough to him to hear. Wondering why the Deadlast was swearing instead of waving it off as usual.

One of the girls nearest was named TenTen and frowned when she caught sight of the Dead Last's gear, wondering exactly where he had gotten such horrible gear. Sure the stuff from the Academy was mediocre at best, but the fact that he was using uneven and off weighted equipment was a puzzle to the kunoichi in training.

Meanwhile, Naruto threw another and swore again, this time louder and more angrily. The blonde didn't know why this was pissing him off, but it had been irking him for the past year. He knew he could do better than this, he should be doing better than this...Why wasn't he doing better than this?

It was an emotion none had seen on the boy before, the joker and dead last of the class. The one who made everyone laugh with his antics and was never down despite horrible grades. He may have been a horrible student, but he was the heart and soul of the classroom, and for the first time anyone had ever seen, Naruto was visibly frustrated and angry.

The fourth miss and Naruto offically lost it, his face red in an inarticulate rage for no real reason other than the fact that he couldn't seem to hit the broad side of a barn at twenty paces. He let out a stream of curses that gained the attention of every single student and even the sensei overseeing the class. No one stopped him though as he kept going, about to launch of the 5th shuriken, an audible snap echoed through out the area and Naruto screamed in pain. There was a flare of light coming off of Naruto's back the sound of flesh ripping was heard throughout the class as Naruto continued to scream in agony.

However, the boy's throw wasn't stopped.

His stance shifted from the pain, his body loosened and the hand that was holding the wrongly balanced shuriken whipped out, in an inwards arc istead of the usual overhand throw. There was a snap in the air and the shuriken flew in a curve, headed straight to the center of the bullseye.

With a huff, Naruto held his shoulder with his free arm, but he didn't stop, he just closed one eye and growled lowly, scaring off the sensei that was about to come over and reprimand the boy for his improper throw, even if it did garner a bullseye. The sixth shuriken snapped into the air, then the seventh, eighth, nineth, and finally the tenth. All in rapid succession, the boys' body shifted, his arm moving more fluid and relaxed than ever before, and all the throws were different, his arm shifting that way or the next.

TenTen continued to watch, wondering what was going on, especially since she watched the change in Naruto's throwing. She herself was the top Kunoichi of the class, her own accuracy rating was perfect, one hundred of one hundred. She knew something was off, having caught the markings of a faded seal from Naruto's back when he screeched in pain. Nevertheless, the boy trudged on, gaining the admiration and respect of a good majority of the class, despite seemingly have pulled a muscle.

Hell! It made his throws more accurate.

She'd have to ask just exactly what Naruto did to throw those shoddy weapons so accurately.

Meanwhile, Naruto fell to the ground, clutching his shoulder once more with one hand and his face with the other. He was the last student to throw due to his name, so he wasn't in anyone's way, but the pain was almost unbareable for the blonde. It felt like his back, shoulders, and his left eye was on fire.

Finally, he forced himself to his feet, panting while closing his left eye, opening up his closed right one and giving the area around him a look, surprise flickering on his face as he got six of his throws right in the bullseye. Jubilation took over the pain as he jumped in the spot. "Yatta! I did it!"

The rest of the class took the sight in with a bit of relief. Their class clown was back to normal and all was good with the world once more. The class sensei wasn't being looked at by any of the class and he simply scowled at the thought of _it_ doing any good in class.

Naruto's earlier anger was completely forgotten, though, his left eye still hurt like a bitch. Oddly enough, it felt that one time he pulled a muscle in his leg when first jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Then the pain vanished like it wasn't there at all. After the class had made their way back to the classroom, Naruto staying last and giving a quick look to see he wasn't being seen, he pulled out a small mirror and opened his left eye to take a good look at it. Nothing seemed to different, still the same old blue.

He didn't notice the darker blue marks in his eye or the fact that the left eye was now a lighter shade of blue. Nor did the blonde notice that he was being watched by one of his classmates,

TenTen had watched in fascination, but slowly started to forget about the incident. After all, he was just the Dead Last...right? No. TenTen decided that she'd help the guy, if only to learn those fluid throwing techniques.

==========X==========

The end of the school term marked the second time that he Naruto was supposed to fail the exam...and he probably would've had he been not shown any recognition by a girl in his class and shown how to regulate his chakra in slight bits. It was enough to figure out his problem over the course of the rest of the year and modify it. Sure, TenTen was an orphan like he was, but she was also the best Kunoichi in the class so Naruto paid absolute and ferverant attention to everything she had shown him. Of course, the payment was that he show her how he managed to make his throws so odd and become accurate with his stuff. She was pretty much outraged when he had shown her his gear. Most of it should've been in the scrap heap instead of weapons. Naruto even admitted that was where he had picked up some of the more badly damaged stuff since no one would sell him equipment and sometimes the teachers would 'forget' to give him stuff.

Being blamed for losing equipment once was more than enough for the blonde, so he always carried his own.

It also helped that his two favorite teachers were manning the graduation exam, even if it was the one thing he had hated most. But after a year of having someone show him, Naruto could finally do the _Bunshin no Jutsu_, Granted, due to the fact that he had found out he had such violent chakra, he could barey manage to summon the prerequeisite amount, and he barely passed even then, a proud smile on Iruka's face.

The odd poiint, for this year, was that there were two Dead Lasts, in this class. Rock Lee, due to his inability to do use Chakra at all, and Naruto's problem that he just couldn't control the violent amount he had. It was just the luck that Konoha had seemed to have this past eleven years. First their Fourth was lost, then the Hyuuga was nearly kidnapped and lost, then Orochimaru became a Missing Nin, last was the Uchiha Massacre. And now, though seemingly insignificant, the first pair of Dead Lasts to ever exist in the same year with the exact same marks in the entire history of Konoha.

That night, Naruto was convinced to do an extra ciricular acitvity that would add to his grade and make sure that he was no longer Dead Last. Of course he agreed, it was Mizuki asking after all, and it was just a test.

Even if it was a year early, we all know how that event ended. Though, Naruto did manage to learn more than one technique from the scroll due to TenTen's administrations previously in the year.

The next week, once everything had calmed down, the first ever four man team ever was started...all they had to do was pass their Jounin-sensei's crazy test, and none in Konoha were crazier than Maito Gai.

Their meet and greet was equally crazy and loud for three of the five members, though Naruto wasn't sure he was sold on this 'Youth' thing. Though, the attention was outstanding, after all, he was a year younger than his teammates.

It went something like this:

"Greetings my Youthful Students! Let us exchange our Youthful greetings and fan our Flames of Youth!" The Man was boisterous, to say the least. "I'm Maito Gai, Jounin ninja of Konoha, I will be your Jounin Sensei. I have a rivalry with famed ninja Kakashi Hatake who is currently winning our contests at 43 to 44. I like exercise, Taijutsu, and Youth!" Apparently he always shouted that word. "My dislikes are Hip Attitdes and unyouthful behaviour." The first thought that came through TenTen's head as she shifted closer to Naruto was something akin to wondering how this man was a ninja if he was this weird. "I am, however, proficient with all forms of Shinobi combat."

The man was dressed in a standard Jounin vest, but was also wearing a green spandex body outfit, though it seemed to be overtop of something else, considering it didn't show off bulges in places people would rather not think of. Nor did it show off the man's obviously musuclar arms. He was also wearing orange leggings that seemed to be replicated upon his arms. Those were reason enough in of itself to Naruto to pay attention. Anyone who liked Orange was obviously a good person at heart!

Rock Lee, Naruto's fellow Dead Last, was the first to start, oddly entranced by his hopefully newest sensei. "Rock Lee, Sensei! I hope to become a great Shinobi that cannot use Chakra." Rock Lee held up his fist as flames danced in his eyes. "I like training and working hard to do my best! Hard Work will eventually surpass Genius!"

The final teammate, Neji Hyuuga, snorted. No one paid attention to the stoic boy as Lee went on. "I dislike insults and people who look down upon others for their perceived faults." Naruto nodded alongside with Rock Lee at that. Then Lee's voice faulted a little. "I am...not really proficient in anything due to my inability to use chakra." It seemed the boy didn't use contractions at all, rather polite of him really.

"Next, go on, the sole flower of our group." Gai thrust out his fist and made a thumbs up, making the Good Guy pose. The single girl just rolled her eyes and hid back a giggle.

"TenTen. Orphan of Konoha due to the Kyuubi attack." Unnoticed by the girl was Naruto's wince as he leaned back, though Gai managed to catch the movement. As noted and unnoticed, TenTen went on, oblivious. "I wanted to be the best Weapons user of Konoha and my idol is the great Tsunade-sama. I like all sorts of weapons, all kinds, sharp and blunt and..." she trailed off, fighting a faint blush but trudged on. "...Nevermind." Gai seemed to get a twinkle in his eye as he caught TenTen looking at Naruto out of the corner of her eye. "I dislike perverts and Naruto's use of _that_ Jutsu." The blonde rubbed his head sheepishly at that. "And finally, people who put down others to feel superior. I am best with thrown weapons. My accuracy is the best of the year."

"Ah." Gai's face was oddly serious for only half a second before reverting back to his humourous and 'Youthful' nature. "Thirdly, our young Hyuuga."

"Neji Hyuuga." The boy spoke, almost coldly and superior, something that all Hyuuga seemed to be like, but seemed to go with the flow of the rest as he spoke, hesitantly at first. "I hope that the seal upon our family is abolished and I miss my Father." There was a faint pause as the boy took a deep breath. "I like the _quiet_, training to be better, and time to think. I dislike loud people, the Fate I have been born with and the Main Family." His voice was really bitter there before becoming light. "I am skilled in Taijutsu, and some have called me both Rookie of the Year and a Genius." The last was almost sneered in Rock Lee's direction.

"And finally, our esteemed fourth member!" Gai spoke grandly, covering for Naruto's sudden bout of nervousness. He was only eleven after all.

"Ah, Naruto Uzumaki." This got him an introspective look. "I want to become Hokage one day and gain everyone's respect." He was oddly somber under that piercing gaze. Maybe there was something to this instructor after all? "I like pranks, my new jutsu that I learned last night, Ramen, and Gardening." That last one got him a few incredlous looks. The hyper clown of the class liked something as sedated as gardening? "Oh, and the color Orange." He declared with a large nod. No matter whom hated on his jumpsuit, it was his, dammit! "Ah, I dislike the three minutes that it takes for Ramen to finish, people who look at me with disgust and hate, and traitors! Most specifically Mi..."

"Ah ah. That doesn't need to be shared, Naruto-kun." Gai said with a chiding finger, waving it back and forth absently.

"Why not?" Naruto asked with a frown. "The Old Man said it was going to go on my record as is."

"True, true." Gai said with a knowing nod. "But neverthless, it isn't something you should share. Afterall, some secrets are best kept, no?" His directed a gaze knowingly at Naruto who just slumped and sighed.

"Fine. I guess I also don't really have anything good going for me, I can barely do _Bunshin no Jutsu_ and the fact that I passed is only thanks to TenTen, but I'm great with _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_!" The overly large eyebrows on the Jounin rose ever so slightly at that. "TeTen says my throwing is weird though, but it seems just right to me."

"You only ever hit bullseyes or miss completely." TenTen retorted.

"My eye hurts whenever I get bullseyes so I can't ever keep it up." Naruto whined. "I told the Old Man, but he waves it off and tells me not to worry about it."

Gai looked on, quietly, keeping a large smile plastered on his face for his students benefits while he thought the situation over. He had originally taken this team because he had watched Lee training hard to become more than useless. It came as a surprise to him that he was have the first four man team when Uzumaki had passed. He hadn't really thought of it one way or another, knowing full well that his rival and best friend Kakashi had wanted to the boy on his own team, but none of the rest of the students of the year were deemed ready. Now he had two students with opposite problems and he couldn't go with his original plan on just training his students in only taijutsu, it wouldn't be fair to Naruto, nor the rest of the village if he couldn't tap his powers.

It also helped that, in his eye, these children had already passed by being open and honest with themselves. That and he wasn't one for these kind of tests anyway, it also helped that this was his first batch of students though, he really wanted to train them, and not fail them for some fault of not having been able to function as a team.

As the talk between TenTen and Naruto died down, Gai spoke in his usual way. "As you may know, our team is special."

"Cause of me an' Fuzzy Brows, right?" Naruto asked, waving his hand in the air.

"Hai." Gai nodded in agreement. "You are both considered the Dead Last, and I have noted that you both have the very exact opposite when it comes to problems."

"Huh?" Naruto asked, confused. Lee managed to catch on though.

"I have...no chakra...and Naruto has to much?" Rock Lee asked with a frown while tugging on his braided hair.

"How can someone who can barely use the standard academy jutsu have to much chakra?" Neji asked after a moment. "He was sweating and straining just to make those three clones."

"In this, an anology might work best." Gai said with another wide smile. "A normal Shinobi pulls on his chakra like a person would turn on the faucet at their sink, it comes out normally and fine."

"Mine's different though, isn't it?" Naruto asked with his blonde hair down and covering his eyes while his gaze was looking off the side of the building.

"Indeed. When Young Naruto-kun here accesses his chakra at such low amounts, the pressure from the sink is to much, but the opening is to small at the same time. He has to strain to hold back his chakra to such a small amount to even perform such techniques that it causes his body such hardship. Naruto-kun, why don't you show us the technique you learned last night?"

"Well, I learned two, but I was told I wasn't allowed to use the second one in Konoha." Naruto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly but then stood up and stepped away a couple of steps and held his fingers in a crosslike formation, completely different than the average handseal. "_Kage Bunshin_ _no Jutsu!_" His voice was overly loud for the technique, but out popped about 10 clones as if it was nothing, a much different experience than when he and TenTen were training him on his regular ones.

Neji activated his Byakugan almost instinctively to just look through the illusions and frowned a bit before gasping. He had never before looked in Naruto's direction or even had his Byakugan active in the Academy before now. "They've got their own chakra systems!" He deactivated his Byakugan suddenly and stared hard at the boy for a moment. What was going on? Why had Fate thrown this curveball?

"Well, if we'd known that, that stupid training would've been easier." TenTen groused. She got inquisitive looks from the others. "We knew the number was three, so he kept trying to force that specific number, if we knew he could've made more, we could've just done that." She let out a sigh and was twirling a kunai on a bored finger without realizing it.

"Indeed!" Gai laughed uproariously. "Now, most of our training will be for Lee's benefit! In such, I will be training you extensively in Taijutsu and it's conditioning." With that he looked at the his Hyuuga member with a slightly smaller smile. "I will be working on your speed and technique the most, Neji-kun as you have your already established techniques, though it's always best to have more than one source to pick from. TenTen-chan, you will be working on your speed and finding as many weapons as you can since that is your wish. I will show you some Fuuinjutsu for techniques as well. "Lee-kun, I will be teaching you my personal style and see how well you can use it, weapons may be further in your future as well." That had been his original plan as well, but now to address the change to his plan. "Naruto-kun, you will be getting the full treatment, you have many problems that need to be fixed, and you will not be skipping out lessons, okay?"

"Yes sir!" Naruto widened his eyes.

"Excellent! We shall start our youthful training tomorrow! Meet me at Training Ground Five tomorrow at Nine in the morning!" With a eyeblindingly white grin, the Jounin stood up and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Naruto stared at the spot and felt a cold shiver roll up his spine as he looked at his three new teammates. "What do you think he meant by full treatment?"

He had no answer, just blank stares and shaking heads.

==========X==========

A week later, Naruto wished he was dead.

After the first day, he was sure he really was dead, and then the second day had happened. Then he thought he was already in Hell. The third day, he had begged for Kami's forgiveness for whatever crimes he ahd ever commited. The fourth day, he wept like a baby, and on the fifth, he was oddly serene about the whole ordeal. The sixth day, he was cursing the fact that he was still alive, and finally, on the seventh day, he wished he really had died so the torment would end.

On the eighth day, he finally managed to have the energy left over to to go buy a bowl of Ramen.

All was right with the world once more.

Or it was, until he woke up at the crack of dawn on the ninth day to get an early start to his stretches and exercise.

Since the boy lived by himself, he made his own meals, but it was also inspected on by his new Jounin-sensei who seemed sorely disappointed in what Naruto ate. Especially since he had found a carton of milk half full, that Naruto had just bought no less, that had expired that selfsame day he was there. The thing was that Naruto really couldn't afford the new diet he was on, but he said no word of it, just nodding in agreement and promising he'd do his best.

For the most part, Naruto was half starved all the time and was desperate for some more money, but they mostly trained instead of doing missions to get paid and that just wasn't flying with him. Or at least it didn't until TenTen heard his stomach growl very loudly and promised that she'd buy his food for him from now on, secretly of course.

She was there when he was beaten out of a shop with a broom after secretly reading one of the magazines on sale after all. She had suggested they share an apartment once, but was turned down because Naruto didn't want to cause her any burden, being rather ignorant of her other intentions at the same time. Of course, she didn't know that Gai had made the self-same suggestion about the three orphans on his team.

That's why Naruto was oddly surprised when, after eight days of training, being run ragged with laps around the village, punches and kicks all the time and the addition of weights to their bodies, it was finally announced that they'd be doing their very first mission. He was not amused when he found out he was being paid to move all of his stuff to a new location because it was announced his appartment was being shut down for renovations.

What he didn't know was that the apartment was really actually his, and the 'rent' he had always paid was actually going into an account that the Hokage had set up for him as a child under his own set of accounts. After all, no one in Konoha tried to fraud money out of the Hokage, and that the plan was to open up the floor Naruto was living on to house his new teammates. Of course, the surly apartment manager was also just another ninja being paid to act that way once every so often.

"So, where am I staying then?" Naruto asked tiredly as he looked at his stuff, all packed in boxes. There wasn't much there, but it was all his, dammit!

"For the next month, you will be staying at a house, alongside of me and Lee." TenTen said with a faint smile. "The building we were living in was pretty much burnt down." She said with a grimace, thankful her apartment wasn't burnt out while they were on a mission, but the building had been condemned.

Just another secret in the Ninja World.

* * *

No edits of any kind. This is based on a 'Challange' from Gman321, but with a bit of a twist since I wanted Naruto on a different team just for variety's sake. I was planning on working his way towards an Archer instead of having it out and out, and yes, you'll have noticed it's as a Doujutsu for accuracy. The original plan was going to be that his normal throwing abilities, once he got used to them, just weren't going to cut it against faster opponents, and would start training as an Archer during the 1 month between the Chuunin Exams. He was not going to be a wind elemental either, but have Water, Fire, and Earth instead.

You'll also notice I had Sarutobi cut it off at an early stage, and that's my way of him being 'useful' in that the less attention he gains, the less freaked out the civilian populace would be. Also, Naruto does get beaten about the face, after he graduates, with a broom when him and Kono are searching up stuff for the 'Sexy' technique. Modified to suit my needs. No real 'Council' in this story outside of his two advisors, and Danzo doesn't come into play at all. People are afraid of what they don't know, even in a Ninja Village after all.


	4. Naruto x Familiar of Zero

It was hard to breathe and my vision was going blurry. We were surrounded completely and utterly and we were the last two left alive. I couldn't tap into either sets of my chakra without fear of dying, and Kakashi-sensei was missing one of his legs. We had badly underestimated the amount of Zetsu clones that Madara had made, and what Kabuto had been able to do with the Edo Tensei. Then there was Sasuke...

"Looks like this is it for us, huh?" I asked mock cheerfully. Running a hand over the right side of my face where I no longer had an eye, my eye kept closed through concious will. My face still looked normal, there was just nothing in the socket. Amen for massive healing prowess.

I was the last Jinchuuriki left. They had gotten Killer Bee just a week prior which is why there had been a reprieve up until this very day. Me and Kakashi were hiding out, but they were closing in on us, and since I didn't have much in the way of medical skills, I couldn't heal my sensei.

"True." Kakashi said, a painful smile gracing his lips.

It was kind of funny really. The first time I get to see what the man looks like under his mask, and it's pretty much as he's going to die. The blood and cuts not withstanding, he was utterly handsome. I was almost jealous in a way.

"I can probably take most of them out." I offered but Kakashi just shook his head.

"There's no guarentee that'll kill you." Kakashi shivered from the bloodloss, I could tell.

I pulled out a couple of pellets and forced two of them down Kakashi's throat. A blood replenishing pill and an Akimichi Chakra pill. I didn't really have anything to say to that and just let loose a sigh. THat was when Kakashi finally opened his left eye, the Sharingan spinning violently.

"There's only one way...But I'm not sure what'll happen." Kakashi's voice was soft and I nodded in understanding.

"Kamui." Was my only response.

"Yeah." Kakashi looked at me intently.

We could both hear Zetsu's clones thrashing throughout the woods. I could also sense Sasuke out there. I had gotten my former friend a good one, taking one of his eyes in the fight that I killed Madara in. I even stole his stolen eyes. Taking the one from the socket after Sasuke had run and the other in the bottle the supposed immortal Uchiha had kept on him. No one knew, but I kept them both in that self same bottle and on my person. There was no way in hell anyone was going to get Nagato's eyes. They had been used for to many painful purposes.

"Do it." I ordered softly.

Kakashi smiled faintly. "I'll make a portal a foot away. You'll need to step into it, otherwise I know for sure it would kill you."

"Space Time Jutsu...gotta love 'em." I quipped.

"Take this." He finally said, his eye morphing into his Mangekyo Sharingan as he handed me a scroll. "Tsunade-sama was going to give it to you on your next birthday."

"What is it?" I asked, looking down at it with a frown, recognizing it as the Hokage's symbol.

Kakashi didn't say anything as he made a handseal, using all of his willpower to concentrate. A rippling, much like a stone cast in water would make, apepared in the air, distoring the area around it, and alerting the Zetsu's to our position. I slowly moved closer to the portal he was making, my senses scanning through it, but I couldn't see or feel anything from it.

"If you survive, you'll know." Kakashi said over my shoulder. "And Naruto?"

I turned to look over my shoulder at him, seeing the white of the Zetsu's coming in from dozens of feet away. "Yeah?"

"It was nice teaching you...Hokage-sama."

I was to shocked to respond as his foot lashed out, kicking me in my back. I whipped my head around to look at the portal he had made, my hands flailing about to try and catch my balance as I fell face forward, my eye instinctively shutting as I fell towards the displaced air that Kamui made up.

The last thing I saw was the portal turning blue with symbols appearing and falling through it to...nothingness?

"Huh?"

I turned around and looked at where I had ceom from, the Kamui portal still there for half a second as I watched Kakashi being comeupon by the Zetsu's before the technique faded away, leaving me in the black.

Closing my one good eye, I reached out with my senses once more, still exhausted, but I was apparently still alive. What the hell was going on?

"Shit, what am I gonna do?" I cursed mentally several dozens of times, even going so far as to call upon some of the more exotic swearing I'd heard while on my travels with the old perv. A sudden and suspicious nagging sensation came over me as I recalled Kakashi's last words to me. "Ho...kage?"

Despite it all, I know there was a goofy grin on my lips. It wasn't worth it in the end, no, but it was something to remember my home now. If anything, I hoped at least the Hat was sealed into the scroll I had been given. Sliding it within one of my pockets, I started to walk around, trying to figure out my surroundings. It didn't take long, then instead of finding a light, I felt a pulling sensation and just went with it, like a summoning, but much more fierce.

The next thing I knew, I was knocked flat on my ass and coughing in a bunch of smoke. My reflexs were shot though, it felt as if I had been zapped by a bunch of lightning and it felt disgusting. "Shit, where am I now?" I swore aloud. "...and why the hell do I have a huge headache all of a sudden?" I frowned and rubbed my head, looking around once more now that the smoke was clearing up.

"Huh?"

I'll admit it, I think aloud quite often, I prefer to voice my thoughts as it gives me ample time to actually think while people try to respond to my supposed idiocy. I was surrounded by a bunch of, well, what looked to be teenagers slightly younger than I was.

That was when a girl, with hair so pink I thought I was looking back at Sakura-chan, walked up and stared down at me, a look of annoyance glinting in her eye. "Hey, you! Who are you?"

I sat up after a half a second, looking clearly at her for a moment, the thoughts of Sakura-chan going away when I saw the girl's indigo eye color, and after that I, admittedly and promptly, ignored her. I don't like dealing with rude people much anymore. I did manage to dust myself off a bit, grimacing as I did so. It would seem not all my wounds had completely healed yet. I hadn't quite gotten up yet when this girl before me stamped her foot imperiously. "I asked you a question!"

Well, she sure did shriek like a younger Sakura-chan, that's for sure.

"Look, fine, I'm Naruto Uzumaki and I..." And that was where I was cut off.

"I didn't ask for your name. Ugh...why did a commoner...?" She trailed off and I my annoyance grew. I was a commoner now? Kami-above. Better than being labeled a demon I suppose. "Don't tell me..." Now she was off, lost in her own thoughts. "This can't be right. You can't be a..."

And that's when everyone else erupted in laughter.

"A commoner?"

"What's this?"

"As expected by Louise the Zero."

"You summoned a cummon human!"

I could see her eye twitching and the blush marring her features as she turned away "This thing can't be my familiar! It isn't possible." She stabbed her finger at me while I quirked an eyebrow. I guess I was demoted to thing now. Just great. I kept my mouth shut as she went on. "This is a mistake! I just messed up a little, that's all!"

...Now that was starting to sound oddly familiar, especially with _that_ kind of laughter.

A red-haired girl spoke up, but I promptly ignored her as well, getting a handle on my situation and looking around me once more. I took a good guess and figured most of these kids were of the same age, and a good bunch of them were surrounded by...monsters of all sorts.

Was that a dragon? Holy shit, it's a blue fucking dragon!

Then my ear caught something once more. I was summoned, like...one of the Toads? Oh man, what Bunta would say to this.

Some old guy was talking when I started to fully pay attention again "...service, therefore he shall be your familiar." So, I was some sort of personal summon now? That's kinda cool I guess. Maybe it was a good thing Kakashi-sensei sent me here. "Please, just continue with the ritual."

"Yes sir." My supposed summoner groaned out before turning to me and she started to give me a death glare. All in all, it was kinda cute in a weird sorta way. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for a commoner like you." Oh, goody, upgraded from thing to commoner again. "You better be careful." SHe coughed into her fist with that and I just gave her a blank stare for a moment. That's when she pulled out some sort of...stick...and tapped me o the head while speaking once more. "Pentagon of the Five Elemental powers. Grant your Blessings upon this creature."

I swore I heard the Fox snort at that one. "What the hell are you doing?" I suddenly asked.

She ignored me as she went on, "...and bind it as my familiar." I could feel a spark of energy coming from the stick-thing and I could feel is cascading around me as she gave me another frown and murmured for me to be quiet under her breath. Muttering a few other things as she took my face in her hands, the fingers rubbing gently on my birthmarks as she leaned in forward a bit more.

Then she kissed me.

What.

"...the hell?" I asked, frowning as I looked up at the girl as she pulled away.

"It's not like I wanted to kiss someone like you anyway." She reorted mildly, though a massive blush marred her face once more. I could see tears in her eyes. First kiss maybe? She might've been younger than I thought. Kami above, she was rude though.

More jeers and catcalls from the crowd of kids as she retorted angrily, but I ignored it all as I felt a burning sensation on my hand. '_Fox?'_

'_**Ain't me, Naruto.**_'

It was hot, whatever it was, and wisps of chakra seemed to come off my hand as _something_ carved itself onto his hand. It wasn't any symbology or seal I knew of, in fact it looked like writing in some sort of glyph format that the old perv ranted to me about once.

"The hell is this?" I asked aloud, looking at it with a frown. I had garnered some attention at that, even some of the other kids seemed shocked that I didn't seem to be in pain. I was, but it certainly wasn't from this. At least I wasn't bleeding anymore. These brats seemed oblivious to my blood stained clothing though. Not really all that good, were they?

"Those are runes." My supposed summoner said from next to the old guy who was standing there and giving me an odd look. "They're inscribed to mark you as my familiar."

The old guy came closer and took up my hand, but wasn't looking at the marks, but rather giving me a once over. "Are you alright?"

"Feh. I've had worse." Which was true. Nothing like a Chidori shoved through your lung to make everything else seem minor in compairison

"Hm." He seemed to think it over and something clicked in my mind. This guy held himself somewhat like Kakashi-sensei did and that sent warning bells off in my head. Though, was more like Iruka-sensei with the way he was acting. "Let's see these then." He notioned to my hand once again as my supposed summoner came up, asking if it was done.

"Well done." He was obviously distracted as he talked to her, she was obviously his student of some sort. "Your _servants_ contract is now bound. A very precise contract has been formed." Scratch that, he was more than distracted. One doesn't use words like 'very precise' in that kind of context. "...In saying that, I must say, these are rather unique."

"I am a unique kinda guy." I smirked at him and he let out a small, unsurprised laugh.

"Well, you're the last two." He said with a nod to me and stood up, turning to the rest. "You may all return to your dormitories. Dismissed."

Interesting guy really, but my focus was snapped off him and towards the large pair of breasts that was just above my sitting eye level. It was that red-haired chick I had ignored earlier.

"Congrats, Louise." Ah, so that was my supposed summoner's name. "You've summoned a _marvelous_ familiar." She seemed to purr out that one word and was giving me an eyeful, like the rest, inoring the tears and stains in my clothing. The tanned red-head gave off a seductive chuckle and...did her chest just bounce?

My eye was instantly covered by Louise and I snorted. "Kirche...you..." And now I learn a new name. Exciting.

Really.

"Ara, I don't intend anything." Kirche oddly reminded me of that crazy snaked lady, Anko, but a bit more firey for some reason. I did catch the barely murmured '..for now.' at the end though. She gave me one last look before...lifting up into the air and flying? Holy shit! "I'll come and greet you formally some other time." She gave me a wave and my now uncovered eye went wide.

"She...flew? You're kidding right?" I blinked a few times as I watched for a moment. So were a lot of the other kids. I was dealing with some pretty powerful kids if they could manipulate gravity like that. "Kami above, I thought only someone with the Rinnegan could do that..."

"Right." Louise cut my thoughts off. "We're going back now too." She then took the collar of my jacket and tried to drag me.

"Huh? What you can't do it?" I admit it, I was goading her.

"Shut up!"

I snickered softly and pulled myself away with a jerk and stood up painfully, wincing at some of my still unhealed bruises. It had only been...maybe five minutes, ten at the most since I left Kakashi to die at the Zetsu's hands, but I was already feeling better. Well. Physically at least.

Mentally? Not so much.

"Look, you don't have to drag me." I mumbled as I stood up, absolutely towering over Louise as I did. From what I could tell, she was pretty short for her age though. That was when she finally noticed my clothing and the cuts and torn parts of it, and what was obviously dried blood. Of course, my skin was stil bruised here and there, otherwise she would've probably thought I was a thief of some kind. "Though, I do have to thank you." I did murmur as she started to walk away and I fell instep with her.

"Thank me for what?" She asked, highly annoyed.

"Saving my life, I suppose." I shrugged as she gave me an inane look. "Really. I was not even a minute away from being killed. Whatever it was that you did, injunction with what happened on my side, saved my life."

She was quiet for a moment but did nod eventually. I made up some small talk, the weather, that sort of thing, until finally we made our way up some bigass tower, climbing stairs until finally, I found myself in a room with her, she just simply sat at the table there and poured herself a cup of tea.

"So, you're pretty much telling me, you're not from this world?" There was a bit of contempt in her voice and that of a nonbeliever.

"Yep." I said with a nod.

"Are you really? I don't believe you."

Well...that was blunt.

"You think I'd make something like that up?" I arched a blonde eyebrow. "Like I said, portal where I was at, then a bunch of darkness, then a pulling sensation, and bam, I'm on my ass in front of all you guys. I know what summoning is all about, but I'm not sure about this magic or whatever. Is that like Yin?"

"Tch. Fine. I'll explain it, just be quiet." Louise sure was a grumpy sort. "The summoning determines what type of magic a person will use. Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, and the lost element of Void."

"Er, don't you mean Lightning?" I raised my hand and asked. "That's the five main elements where I'm from anyway."

"Lightning? No. It's Void." Louise frowned at that, tapping her chin in thought. "Anyway, shut up. All magic is intimately related to life." Well, that's not really surprising, so maybe it really was just Yin. "And so, all magic users are naturally Nobles!"

I snorted at that. "I don't really care about Nobles are anything like that. It's a pretty common thing to manipulate the elements where I'm from. My own sensei could use Three of them, one being that afformentioned Lightning I was talking about." I pointed out with a shake of my head.

"That's impossible." Louise huffed.

"Says you." I retorted. "I knew a guy who could use all five, and then some." All in all, what Pain could do was pretty impressive, even if he was trying to kill me and destroy Konoha at the time. "Probably could've combined them in all sorts of ways too if he wanted, oh well, I couldn't find out before he died."

Louise gave me an odd look. "Well, don't expect to go back home wherever it is."

"I don't want to." I said bitterly. "But so much for your nobility and your magic, huh? Summoning's a two way street where I'm from."

That got her interested. "Really?"

"Yeah, though, it wasn't just done with one creature or...well, person I guess." I frowned at that. I knew Pain and Madara could summon other people to him, but that was through the Rinnegan, I'm sure. "My Sensei had a pack od tracking dogs he could summon, I was really weirded out when the Pug started to talk about Shampoo use."

I knew that got Louise to giggle, so I went on. "The ruler of my village, my grandma of sorts I guess you could say, could summon Slugs for healing purposes, don't ask me how that works." Louise's giggles cut off as she looked mildly disgusting. "Oh, and there was a whole family of people who used bugs and let them, get this, live inside of them."

"That's disgusting!" Louise shuddered and I snickered.

"It's useful when you're dealing with poisons and how to drag them out of a person though." I pointed out the practicality of it, though Louise arched her eyebrow at that. Maybe she wasn't as naive as I originally thought. "One of my teachers could summon Toads." I didn't put in the fact that I could quite yet, I'd have to find out myself first. "The Boss was huge."

I could tell she still didn't believe me. No big deal, once I found out if I could summon or not, it'd be easy game to really show these kids who a commoner was.

Of course, that's when Louise started to strip and I raised an eyebrow at that. "Going to bed?"

"Of course I am." She responded.

"...And where should I sleep?" I asked.

She shrugged it off and handed me her clothes. "Wash these for me will you?"

"Seriously?" I fought back the twitch that threatened to take my eye as she handed me her clothes, even going so far as to slip her panties off hand drop them on the top.

"You're my familiar, understand?" She leaned forward and waved a finger at me, as if I was some sort of child. "That means whatever your master orders you to do...well, you should obey nicely like a good dog." And now I was demoted to dog. Not quite as good as commoner, but it was still better than just being a thing. "Today was tiring and I'm sleepy." She turned around and waved me off.

"Tch." I responded, ignoring her, and dropping the clothes onto the floor as soon as she fell in bed and was asleep.

I dropped to a sitting position suddenly, folding my legs and putting my hands together and closed my eye to do two things. One was to meditate and get back some chakra, pulling it from Nature if need be, and the other was to go talk to the Fox in my gut.

A moment later, I was in a much familiar territory, sitting at a small table and looking across at the large fox that was just laying there with it's forelegs crossed, one large eye open and watching me.

"So..." I began. "What do you think?"

"**A load of garbage**." The fox grumbled out, pushing itself up slowly and arching his back, all nine tails weaving about madly.

"True, true." I agreed. "Better situation than back home though."

"**Tch**. **Don't expect my help anytime soon**. **My chakra at this point**,** no matter how you use it**, **is to corrosive to use**." Kyuubi was probably right, I used way to much in the that last fight before we were surrounded by the Zetsu. Three Imari's was pushing it, and it still hadn't been enough, especially when the Edo Tensei raised were reforming out of next to nothing.

"Give me a couple of days and I'll be back up to snuff. This pace we're in is saturated with Yin, so it'll be easy to regain my chakra with some rest and meditation. It also helps that I've got a lot of stamina."

"**Use your Senjutsu and make some Kage Bunshin to explore this area**, **try and sneak into whatever constitutes as a library around here and get to learning**."

"Don't have to tell me twice. Senjutsu Kage Bunshin won't last as long, but I don't need longetivity, just something to get a layout until tomorrow."

"**If anything**, **replace your eye with those of the Sage**."

I grimaced at that suggestion, unsure of what I should do in that situation. Doujutsu eyes were a weird thing, and with my healing from the Fox, I'd be able to use it no problem, but I'd gotten used to not being able to see out of the right side over the past little while. I thought it was a bit of a good tradeoff on my side. Madara might've taken my eye, but I took the bastard's life for all it was worth.

"Maybe. We'll see."

"**You**'**ll need all the help you can get here in this foreign land**, **especially if you can't summon those blasted toads**." Kyuubi paused and looked at me with his single open eye for a moment. "**One of the skills you would gain would be that of summoning**, **remember**?"

Now there was no denying the use of that. Even if I couldn't summon normally with my own chakra through dimensions, I might've been able to boost it with the Rinnegan. Of course, I still didn't quite understand how an eye of all things allowed me to use any kind of jutsu in existance. You'd figure I'd need to replace part of my brain or something. Ah, the ninja world, how you don't make sense no matter how anyone tries to figure you out.

The fox chuckled at my thoughts and then dropped back down, crossing his forelegs once more and closing the only eye I could visibly see, pretty much being dismissed as he was going back to sleep.

That being motioned, I left my mindscape and opened my one good eye. I had gathered enough Sage Chakra for Senjutsu use and that was a relief in of itself. I quietly made my favorite handsign and out popped two clones. They gave me a nod each and jumped out the tower window, running down the side of the wall with practiced ease.

Me? I just sat back down and relaxed, sitting in the corner away from the window, knowing I could easily fall asleep while my Senjutsu made clones were out and about, unlike my regular ones.

The next thing I knew was nothingness, and with it came sleep, and thankfully...no dreams.

* * *

Another idea that popped into my head, mainly due to reading The Hill of Swords from Gabriel Blessing and the fact that I was really, really bored and was reading Familiar of Zero again. It's really a bunch of crap, but I wrote it up over the past hour or two from when this was posted and decided to end it at the 'end' of the first manga chapter and just post it as is. I might work on it some more and do a second chapter later, but I'm more intent on finishing up the next chapter of Divide by Zero and whatever other crap worms it's way into my head.

Which is probably going to be a NarutoxBleach story because I just read Kenichi618's newest work and it was freaking awesome.


	5. Naruto x FateStay Night

"Trace on."

Those words echoed across the empty walls. A single kunai materializing within his palm before he flicked his wrist, throwing it into the wall before it finally dispersed as if it hadn't ever existed.

"Trace on."

The words were repeated, the selfsame kunai reappearing within his palm before once again it was thrown into the wall.

"Trace on."

Another kunai. The hole got larger

"Trace on."

Another kunai. The hole got deeper.

"Trace on."

Another kunai, the process repeated.

"Trace on."

He continued to etch out in his mind, the same kunai he had first used back as a child, over and over and over until finally the weapon had made such a large hole in the wall that it slipped right through the passageway and in towards his bedroom.

"Trace on."

The process repeats.

"Trace on."

He was sure of it now.

"Trace on."

This time he went for something different as he outstretched his hand, a large Fuuma Shuriken appeared, having seen it on the back of a passing Chuunin. He dropped it and it disappeared like it didn't exist as soon as his mind let it go.

"Trace on."

A katana.

"Trace on."

An ANBU ninjato he had seen when he was four.

"Trace on."

He repeated the process over and over and over. For hours he continued to use the ability that he had discovered. He was starting to get tired though. He could feel his chakra being faintly tugged upon with every single blade he created. Every single blade he had ever seen was at the tip of his finger tips.

"Trace on."

His eyes weren't even open now as he traced a shuirken before flinging it through toward the hole in the wall, it getting stuck on the hole only big enough for a kunai.

"Trace on."

This time it was a sharp looking hammer that he had used as a makeshift weapon once when he was a kid in a mock game with himself.

"Trace on."

A staff, a large red one that he had seen in a weapon shop. Not limited to just bladed weapons, he was sure of himself. Tomorrow he would have to experiment with even larger weapons. He couldn't yet Trace something he couldn't use in a fight.

"Trace on."

This time a weapon he had seen once and only in passing, a trench knife from a random Jounin he had seen once. He would need more practice with this. There was only a week left until the graduation exams and he was sure he'd be able to pass. Ever since he started messing around with this ability he had discovered, his chakra felt easier to use.

"Trace on."

A huge axe appeared in the palm of his hands, the weight was enough to cause him to lose grip and he dropped it almost instantly, it dematerializing before it made a huge hole in his floor. He couldn't wait to show up those older kids in a spar now either.

"Look out world. Naruto Uzumaki's gonna be a ninja." His smile was discreet and small despite being alone in the barren room.

He finally moved towards the corner of the room, dropping down on the single blanket within the room and smiled to himself, his eyes drooping slwoly as thoughts and wild ideas of becoming a kickass ninja roamed through his mind. He didn't notice when he was finally asleep.

There he dreamed of a landscape of swords and weapons.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Yeah, I don't know where this came from, it amused me though, so I wrote this bit out...I think the idea came to me when I was reading a story called Operator by Case 13 Story ID: 3592844.

It just dripped out of my brain, but I never felt an inclination to advance past this stage because of other stories I'm working on.


	6. Bleach: Ichigo the Peggy Sue

A single teenager sat up in his room suddenly, gasping for breath, his entire body shuddering from the sensation of pain. His hands went to his face suddenly as he searched his surroundings almost desperately. "What...what the hell is going on?" he whispered to himself. Slowly his hands fell away as he looked around, staring at the room he was in, down at the bed he was laying on. "Shit, shit shit..." he murmured as he fell back on his pillows, looking up at the ceiling. '_I'm in my own bedroom...'_ he thought to himself.

"_Goes to show ya' King, shit went down bad._"

"Fuck." He spoke out loud. "Shiro? Where's Zangetsu?"

"_Dunno King. Last I remember was fighting that bastard Aizen._"

"Yeah. I...I don't remember how things were going." He sighed.

"_King, you gotta find out where we are. Did we beat him or what?_"

"I hope so, Shiro. I feel like shit though...like somethings wrong." With that, he got up and pushed the blankets off, intent on getting dressed slowly. It took him a few moments, feeling like he was moving sluggish, but he was finally there. "I wonder what it is though..." he mused to himself as he opened the door.

"Good morning, Ichigo!"

_**WHAM!**_

"God-dammit!" Ichigo swore. "What kind of freak attacks his son in the morning like that?" He had sidestepped his father's flying kick and slammed him down to the ground using just his hand.

"_Haha. For a Shinigami Captain, your old man sure is weird, King."_

"Mmph." Ichigo's father, Isshin said from the floor. "Not bad boy! I've got nothing left to teach you."

"The hell are you going on about?" Ichigo growled, pulling his hand back and sighing softly as his face scrunched up.

"Just surprised you slept through that freak accident last night." Isshin mumbled standing up and dusting himself off.

"Say...what?" Ichigo looked at his father and then suddenly fled from his bedroom, taking the steps three and four at a time to rush outside. "No, no, no..." Ichigo muttered, staring at the half mended front of the Kurosaki Family Clinic.

"_What?"_

'_I found out what happened, even if I don't want to believe it.'_ Ichigo mentally hissed to his Hollow.

"_Well? Spit it out, King. I'm waiting here in anticipation at your words._"

'_It's the morning after I first became a Shinigami, Shiro. Whatever the hell happened, it sent us back in time.'_ Ichigo growled as he looked at the destruction, watching his Father walked out, dressed in completely different clothes and a rag tied around his head.

"What a miracle, 'eh? A truck crashes into the house and no one gets hurt. Double miracle that no one woke up." There was a wild grin on Isshin's face that Ichigo saw out of the corner of his eye.

Karin and Yuzu walked out as well to get their own good look at the damage and the bit of fixing up that their father Isshin had done. Yuzu piped up suddenly. "Breakfast is done, Ichigo." she said with a bright attitude.

The other twin just snorted and twisted her hat down to cover her eyes slightly. "Some miracle. Jerk left us with the bill to fix up our own house."

"Man..." Ichigo muttered to himself, stomping back into the house as he started to converse with Shiro again, all while ignoring his family behind him. '_Looks like we get to go through that fun ride all over again._' That was something he really wasn't looking forward to.

"_So, does that mean I can beat Pineapple around a bit when he shows up?_"

'_I need to find out the form of Zangetsu first, Shiro. At this point, he's still pre Shikai stage...and we never got around to talking about his release phrase.'_ Ichigo thought back about that and shook his head. "Dad. I'll help with the repairs after we eat." He suddenly called over his shoulder, all the while wondering if he should talk to him about the entire Shinigami deal. That and maybe going and yelling at Urahara and nab the Hongokyu from Rukia's gigai. It'd be amusing to say the least.

"Atta boy!" Isshin called from behind his son, a frown creasing his lips as he looked at his two daughters, who's attention wasn't on him. Something felt very off to the former Shinigami Captain.

At the breakfast table, Ichigo was moving on auto-pilot while talking mentally to his Hollow he had named Shiro not all that long ago. It was certainly better than Hichigo or Ogichi or other stupid names that had popped into his head.

"_That means you're gonna learn how to fight properly, ain't ya, King?" _Shiro finally put in when Ichigo finished eating and was helping Yuzu clean up.

_'Huh?'_

_"You're dumber than a bag of bricks sometimes, King. As a Zanpaktou, Zangetsu is a medium ranged weapon in Shikai stage with the wrappings, same with the altered state of your Bankai. Don't you remember me whipping it around?"_

_'Oh yeah.'_

* * *

**Author's Note**: Would you believe I wrote this crap last October and promptly said screw it?

Peggy Sue fics are hilarious to read sometimes, and this one was heading towards that, more of a wild shenanigans kind of escapade, but, again, I suck at comedy and it was already turning to serious for what I wanted to do. I might rework it at a later date just to have fun, but, meh.

Also, it's after Ichigo uses Mugetsu, or whatever it was called.


	7. Looping Potter x Something?

Repeat the cycle.

The circle never ends.

The figure eight of infinity.

Over and over and over.

It doesn't stop.

It never ends.

I ended it again.

I began it again.

It won't let me die.

Not until I get it right...

What is right? What is wrong?

Am I mad? Insane? Mental? Just confused? Or is this all really real?

I don't know if it's all true, but I keep going and going, everytime. My mind is starting to break. I die and I live. I look Death in the eyes, I stare and Death stares back. Unwavering.

I've been beyond the Veil. I have seen beyond the Pale light.

I have stared, much like Death, into the Abyss.

Unwavering.

Unfaultering.

I took that step forward while the Master.

I have gone beyond the Abyss unblinking.

It doesn't end. It doesn't begin. It just is now.

Death, The Veil, the Pale Light, the Abyss...

Nothing. Changes. At. All.

I move myself forward. Unwavering. Unblinking. I am resolute. I want to begin once more because it means I might finally end it all.

Staring and never ending.

But I put one foot in front of the other as I near my goal. I have been it all and done it all now. Or at least I think so. I have lost so much to Time in this neverending trek.

Another beginning, everything reset. I start anew.

My mind is starting to break.

My mind is starting to break.

My mind is starting to break.

...just breathe it in...

I have come across the final step.

The Void.

The End.

One stares into the Abyss and it stares back.

But of the Void? Beyond and through the Abyss?

I blink.

...

...and

...all...

...fades...

...to...

...white...

* * *

I used to think that my life sucked. Fate was out to get me, and Lady Luck laughed at my expense. I didn't know how right I was until I died for the third time. Now you're probably wondering what I mean by the third time, right? Well, it's pretty obvious, innit? I died when I was the ripe and young age of One point something. Then I died somewhere when I was late Seventeen...and then finally once and for all at the ripe old age of nearly three hundred. Even went on a trip to the Mars, y'know?

I was married. I had children. Grandchildren, Great-Grandchildren, et cetra, et cetra, so on and so forth. Then I fell asleep, finally died of old age...and woke up once more.

Instead of my back and neck hurting from old age they hurt from sleeping on the cupboard under the stairs in my Aunt and Uncle's home.

I wondered to myself...what did I deserve to find myself in Hell? I hadn't been Evil had I? Sure I had part of an evil soul in my for near on eighteen years, but that shouldn't count, should it?

So I went through life again, pretty much repeating the process, though I made some changes here and there. I saved Ced's life at the end of the Tournament, and I saved Padfoot from Death by Veil. Kicked some more ass than before since I had more spells to call on once I could actually use them, and went about life with Ginny once more. Children came, along with all the rest until I found myself slowly reaching towards my third century. I fell asleep in Headmaster's chair on the last day of Hogwarts.

I woke up in my cupboard once more.

That time around, I went through life mechanically, wondering what I had done to deserve this? Repeating a cycle, watching friends grow and die, family live and die...

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat once more.

So. I made a game of it.

* * *

"Fuck." Was the first word out of Harry Potter's mouth when he woke up one morning. He rubbed his eyes tiredly as he pushed himself up off the floor. He was back in the cupboard and was less than impressed. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." He continued to swear with a mouth that didn't suit a ten year old, nor his small, underfed frame. He hated his childhood and he hated it when he came back this early in his life.

A quick mental rundown he had started to follow a thousand years ago filtered through one Harry Potter's mind.

The first and most important question? Girly parts? Nope. That had only happened a few times, but waking up a red-headed girl once was more than enough for him. Never mind the fact that he practiced being a girl for the next several dozen lifetimes for just in case.

Second came when he was. Cupboard? Check. Pre-Hogwarts shopping trip then. That was both a good and bad thing. Bad because, honestly, his childhood sucked more than a Two Euro whore in the Red Light District. Good in that he could get his body up to snuff easier than when he was older.

Glasses? Pieces of shit. Could barely see. Which led into the next question as he felt his body shift and melt slightly, his facial features around his eyes shifting ever so slightly, skin loosening and tightening in different areas along with different muscles. Huzzah for being a Metamorph and Bless Tonks' teaching for an eternity and beyond. Once Harry could see his surroundings, he tugged at his magic and let it wash over him, healing the bruises he had picked up, his somewhat unset bones and posture being fixed up with small painful cracks that he took in stride.

Amen for a high pain tolerance.

Scar? Yep. Horcrux? Yep. He'd have to get rid of that later. Maybe the Goblins would be useful?

The next big question was what was he going to do? He had no wand, but that didn't inconvience him much. Still, the sensation was always jarring to not have that small piece of wood nearby. He had no weapons and he felt naked because of it.

"Best think about it while making breakfast." Harry mumbled. He got dressed in his hand-me-downs and put the frames of his glasses on his face after popping out the lens for each eye. A wave of his hand and his cupboard opened itself, thankfully unlocked.

For the next twenty minutes, Harry made breakfast while his Aunt, Uncle, and Cousin all slept, also downing a majority of the various juices within the fridge for some much needed Vitamins before casting a replenishment charm with another wave of his hand and a couple precise thoughts, Toast, Bacon, Eggs, all put under a stasis charm that would disappear the moment Aunt Petunia would walk into the kitchen. Coffee for Uncle Vernon was also in the pot and some Ginger Tea for Aunt Petunia in a small kettle with teacup sitting there waiting.

Harry still felt oddly thirsty, and had the odd urge to blow up the house the entire time while cackling madly.

Meh.

Eventually, Harry concluded the rest of his chores, using his 'Freak' abilities to get them all done. Aunt Petunia walked into the kitchen just as Harry was closing the front door and walking back with the newspaper, all ready for Vernon.

"Boy." Petunia's voice was waspish as she narrowed her eyes, watching her Freak of a Nephew.

"Aunt Petunia." Harry returned while thoughts of of ripping out her lower intestines danced through his head. He smiled faintly at her while glancing at the paper in his hand. Huh. July 30th.

She looked at the spread set out on the table and nodded begrudgingly, unaware of her Nephews dark thoughts while that faint smile was still on his lips, even after he set the newspaper down. "Can I goto the Library today?" He remembered back to the last time he was this early in life and knew he had done the gardening and cleared out the garage and washed off the driveway the day previous. It was a Tuesday after all, and Dudley usually went with Uncle Vernon to get one of the new movies that came out at the video store. He wouldn't be around to boot and that was always a bonus to them.

"Get going." Aunt Petunia mumbled as she finally sat down.

Harry didn't say another word as he turned around and simply walked out the front door, locking the doorknob as he did. "Stupid bitch." He mumbled once he was finally outside. "Should rip her throat out." A sigh escaped his lips as he looked around the perfectly normal and utterly bland area of Privet Drive. Arabella Figg wasn't awake at the moment, and that's exactly what he needed. Silly Squib was supposed to be watching over him and reporting back to Albus. Sometimes Harry enjoyed her company, at other times he wanted to strangle her with her cats and kneazles.

* * *

**Authors notes**: Looping Harry that's starting to get annoyed. Was going to be a crossover with...something? I forget what. Still crap.

Why I switched from first to third? I don't know, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Please forgive me for my trespasses against literature.


	8. MPDxMetamorph HarryxMany Personalities

One day, Boy snapped.

He was in the middle of making breakfast, at a young age, for the Dursleys. The family which he lived with. As far as he was concerned, he wasn't related to these people and as far as they were concerned, they weren't related to him. He didn't know his own name, having just been called Boy or Freak for as long as he could remember. He was 'home schooled' in the fact that they didn't want him to contaminate others with his freakishness.

Whatever that meant.

A virtual slave, without a name, and he was getting tired of being used and abused by these people. Boy had been taught how to read and write from an early age after complaining that it would be considered freaky that he didn't know. He learned how to garden and cook for his owners since they were too lazy to do it themselves. But as he grew and started to read things around the house, he grew more and more agitated by what he found out and learned.

Some nights, a dictionary was all he could read since he had stolen one from the living room and stashed it under his blankets in the cupboard under the stairs.

But indeed, one day, Boy snapped.

He had discovered, one day, he had an actual name and not just Boy or Freak. He had found out that when the crazy cat lady across the yard had watched him for his owners. She kept calling him Hairy, and he proclaimed that he wasn't Hairy as the only hair he had was on the top of his head, or would've been if one of the Dursleys hadn't shaved his head.

The Crazy Cat Lady told Boy that his name was actually Harry, not Hairy, not Boy, and most assuredly not Freak.

Boy cried for about five minutes when he discovered he wasn't Boy but Harry Potter and promised not to tell his owners about it until he could finally free himself from being their servant.

A week later on his tenth birthday, in the middle of cooking some bacon for breakfast, the little fat Dursley forced Harry's hand onto the burner just to hear him scream in pain.

That was when Boy...no...Harry, snapped.

For the past week, he had been ridiculed and beaten because his hair had grown back overnight, for not having the chores done faster, and for not having the food cooked to perfection despite the fact that every time his back was turned the little fat Dursley would mess up his things.

The burner was just the last straw as Harry did _something_ and the little fat Dursley was launched away from Harry with a large bang and ended up slamming his side into the table while the other two Dursley's watched in shock and then anger. The large fat Dursley got up, his face turning purple with rage.

A voice in Harry's head told him what to do and he did it.

Harry was the closest to all the cutlery, which meant the knives, which included some of the large carving ones that were almost a foot long and very sharp. The moment the big fat Dursley got close, Harry reached suddenly for the knife and lashed out violently with his good hand.

The knife cut into the big fat Durlsey's hand, severing flesh and muscle down to the bone on several fingers, spraying blood onto the knife and by extension, even Harry's little face as he covered backwards clutching at the knife and shifting into the corner towards the exit. The big fat Dursley howled in pain as blood dripped onto the ground while the little fat Dursley was unconscious and laying on his side near the shifted table.

The giraffe necked Dursley immediately called the Police and an ambulance, not realizing that she had made a very large mistake.

She hadn't noticed when Harry's eyes turned blue and a sneer crossed his face before it all changed back to normal when the police showed up.

A day later, the Dursley's were under arrest for abuse, neglect, and various other things. Harry was in counseling and the house was locked down and being gone over with a fine tooth comb. Harry fell asleep at the police station, since he was being watched by a couple different officers since none of them wanted such a little boy to be unattended.

The next day found Harry waking up from the giraffe necked Dursley's screeching on the couch back home, everything had been as it was. The big fat Dursley did have a scar across his fingers, but knew he had gotten it from one of the drills at work, not from Harry lashing out to protect himself. The police hadn't shown up, and when Harry sneaked a call on the telephone, there was no evidence of anything to the police or the ambulance trip from the day previously. It didn't help that the new computers in use had been on the fritz and there were no copies of the paperwork.

Harry's birthday violence did not apparently happen, but the voice inside of his head said it did, and he'd be ready for next time.

Things were back to the status quo until the middle of the next spring. The big fat Dursley came home angry and before Harry could do anything, he was beaten down, thrown against the wall and then locked in his cupboard with a bruised throat. The voice told him to fight back, but eventually had faded away midway through the beating, and Harry took on an air of serenity as he was beaten for being a Freak that had cost a sale.

The next day, Harry didn't speak. If any of the Dursley's had looked closely at him, they would've seen the bruise on Harry's throat had faded into a thin scar like line across his throat. His hair was also smoother and longer and his eyes were no longer their usual bright emerald color but a dark hazel. Harry moved differently throughout the day, not speaking, his face almost absent in emotion. The food was a step up, the gardening done slightly faster and even better than before.

The rest of April was exactly like that, until one day Harry woke up and was back to his usual self, his hair an unruly mess, his eyes the same emerald color they'd always been and the scar like line across his throat was gone. He had looked at the calendar and noticed he had lost two weeks of memories, but none of the Dursleys had said a thing.

Instead, Harry felt the other voice once more, it was just saying the same thing over and over and over again in his head. '_Poor Sheila_.'

As usual, Harry did not verbalize or think of a response.

Spring eventually faded to summer, and near the end of July was when the Letter came. The moment he saw it in his hands was the selfsame moment he heard the little fat Dursley's voice claiming the Freak had a letter, he dashed to the bathroom up the stairs, locking the door, turning on the light and pulling out a knife he had hidden there the year before. "They're not going to touch me...not going to touch me, not going to touch me..." Harry repeated as a mantra as he slowly opened the letter and read it.

_Mr H. Potter_

_The Cupboard under the Stairs_

_4 Privet Drive_

_Little Whinging_

_Surrey_

Harry stared at the letter for a moment, a serene calm coming over him as he blinked at the letter in his one hand. Was this a joke and was someone stalking him? With a faint shudder, he carefully opened the letter, ignoring the furious banging on the door and the shouts coming from the big fat Dursley.

_HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND_ _WIZARDRY_

Harry stared at that for a moment, wondering if this was nothing but a big hoax, and if so, he was going to be in for a world of hurt...

_Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore_

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,_

_Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment._

_Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July._

_Yours sincerely__,_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Deputy Headmistress_

Cracked. Most definitely cracked and insane. A load of rubbish and whatnot. He did fine the list on a second piece of whatever it was though, it sure wasn't paper though.

That was when a steel toed boot smashed through the door and Harry's eyes went wide. He wouldn't be able to stab through steel with the knife he had. The internal calm and serenity he had from earlier was being replaced quickly with panic and fear. Without thinking, Harry stuffed the second piece of whatever into the pocket in his pants.

The foot was quickly removed, but Harry ignored the roar of anger coming from the other side of the door as he scrambled up and opened the bathroom window to see if he could escape from there. What he didn't expect to see was an Owl waiting just on the outside of the sill. Looking between the door and the foot that managed to smash another hole through it, Harry quickly opened a large cut on his forearm, whimpering in pain, with the knife and wrote in blood on the back of the letter.

_Help!_

Harry thrust the letter at the owl who took it between one outstretched, clawed, foot before flickering up and off the window sill as Harry started to climb up the towards the window, using the toilet for some extra help as the door smashed its way open.

"Freak!" Was the big fat Dursley's roar of rage as Harry spun and threw the knife violently at him, causing Dursley to lunge out of the way back out of the bathroom. It gave Harry enough time to pull himself out the window and land on the roofing tile towards the backyard. Harry knew there was blood everywhere, ripping down his fingers on both hands now and especially down his left arm where the cut still bled.

Slowly, Harry edged his way towards the side of the house, ignoring the big fat Dursley's yelling until the window closed sharply to cut off his voice.

Nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide.

Harry just wanted to be somewhere else, somewhere different. As he inched towards the shadows in the side of the house in the early morning he felt something tug at him. The voice was back, telling him to give in and to trust himself. For the first time, Harry acknowledged the voice before everything shifted. The last thing Harry heard was a single cackling laughter while moving towards the shadow given off by the rooftop.

The sensation of falling and then the boy known as Harry Potter disappeared into the shadow as if he hadn't been there at all. The only telltale mark of his passageway was the blood still left upon the scene of his departure.

No one noticed the look of Arabella Figg and her look of horror as she watched from her window before running with all speed back to her living room.

The shadows shifted and seem to pool around the darkened alley, twisting and contorting as a young man stepped out, his eyes blue and cold. His hair short and dirty blonde, though long in the front to cover his forehead. He stood of average height and carried himself as if he was of importance. His arm left forearm had a large cut upon it, but it had recently stopped bleeding it would have seen. His clothes seemed to be to small and with a faint sneer passing his lips, the shadows shifted upwards and wrapped about him as if they were a cloak to be worn. He did reach inside of this new cloak and pulled out a piece of parchment, giving it a once over and shook his head.

He didn't quite know where he was, yet the place felt familiar. He didn't know where he was, no, but his Truth did. If only vaguely at that, a memory that was deep, gone, and really buried deep within. He gave his surroundings a once over as his eyes settled on what looked like a bar or, even a tavern of all sorts of things.

Walking closer, he gave the name of the place a once over and let out a bark of a laugh. "The Leaky Cauldron?" His voice was sardonic and amused as he stepped in, still holding onto the parchment tightly. He ignored the people walking nearby since they ignored him, none of them even noticing the place to begin with.

The inside of was smaller than he expected, grimy and grubby looking to boot. It was almost to early, but there were a couple of patrons inside eating breakfast while one patron was smoking a long pipe. He seemed like a regular type of guy within the establishment. The barman was slowly running a rag over the countertop as he stepped close to it. "Can I help you?"

"I need to get into Diagon Alley, don't know the way in." He held out the parchment to show the reason.

"Ah, sure, follow me...uh..."

"Lucas." Lucas smiled, giving the first random name that popped in his head. It wasn't worth it to give his Truth's name since he was only a part of him and, again, not the Truth. "Just Lucas for now."

"Bit tall and old for a First Year, aren't you? Name's Tom." Lucas gave Tom a singular look, giving the bald man a once over and shrugged it off.

"I don't go, personally. My younger brother is sick, you see?" Lucas lied once again with what seemed like practiced ease. "Parents are gone for the week, figured I'd get his things for him myself."

"Ah, Squib, huh?" Tom nodded his head in understanding while Lucas gave him a fake half smile that was wry with amusement. "Here, I'll show you how." They walked to the back of the bar and out into an alleyway. "Just remember here..." Tom started showing him. "...three up and two across." With that he pulled out a stick that was about a foot long and tapped a specific brick three times in a row.

_The brick he had touched quivered - it wriggled - in the middle, a small hole appeared - it grew wider and wider - a second later they were facing an archway large enough for a _giant of a man_, an archway to a cobbled street which twisted and turned out of sight._

"...This is Diagon Alley." Tom the barman nodded. "You can get out the same way, or call the Knight Bus. I'd suggest going to Gringotts to pull money from your Vault since this is your first time here."

"Thank you Tom." Lucas said with the same fake half smile, giving the old bartender a nod before striding confidentially forwards, leaving Tom behind with the entrance to the Alley closing behind him.

"I need a weapon." Lucas finally murmured to himself as he looked around the Alley. It was a lot more populated than the bar; the hustle and bustle was a bit much more than what he would have figured, especially when compared to where he had been before, especially back _there_. Lucas cursed under his breath as he strode towards a building with the words Gringotts plastered right out in the open. He completely ignored the words on a plaque at the entrance as he didn't really care about it. People of all sorts were standing in various lines. He looked around at the tellers and arched an eyebrow at the small creatures standing there.

Another soft curse escaped his breath as he watched the line slowly move as he was wondering exactly how to go about this. It took about half an hour before Lucas found himself at the front of the line he was in, looking at a Goblin who was glaring at him.

Lucas just glared back, his blue eyes going flat for a moment. "I need some information." Lucas finally said neutrally.

"About?" The creature responded just as neutrally.

"New to this Wizarding business as it were." Lucas held up the parchment detaining the items he would need to buy. "I was told to come here about a Vault or whathaveyou."

"Name?" The creature replied tersely.

Lucas leaned in very closely, his eyes half-lidden. "Harry Potter."

The creature stared at Lucas for a moment before turning around and barking something out in a strange language that Lucas couldn't quite understand, a steady smirk grew on his lips as a couple armed creatures strode forward. "If you really are who you say you are, you won't mind coming with us then, will you?"

One of Lucas' came out from the cloak of shadows he was still wearing and motioned for them to lead on. He did catch one of the weirdo's in robes muttering something about blood thirsty goblins.

The Goblins, Lucas supposed, lead him towards one of the many different and varied doors, standing guard outside as Lucas entered the room by himself with a roll of his eyes. It took another five minutes before another Goblin showed up. He was very old looking, but hardly frail, in fact he looked quite annoyed yet amused at the situation. Walking around the desk and chair that were within the room and sat at the second chair behind the desk. "And what can I do for you today?" The goblin sneered, not even giving his name.

"Again. Information about all of this. I'm new here." Lucas dropped the parchment which he noticed had some blood on it. "Wizards, Witchcraft, money, Harry Potter. Vaults, all that assorted nonsense."

The Goblin gave Lucas another once over and looked at the parchment for a moment. Lucas noted the Goblin sneered once he was finished reading. "And why should I believe anything you've said about whom you are? You look nothing like a Potter. Blue eyes were not a part of the bloodline. Nor are you human, I can smell that."

Lucas rolled his eyes slightly. "I am and I'm not. I am nothing and no one, but I am also Harry Potter. I took the name of Lucas on a whim not but an hour ago."

"Then you must have the scar to prove it." The Goblin looked down at his hand disinterestedly.

"I've many scars, you'll have to be specific. I've just acquired a new one today from slashing open my arm to write in blood." Lucas commented idly as he stared back at the Goblin with his own indifferent eyes, watching slightly amused as the Goblin's eyes snapped to Lucas' forehead. "Ah, you mean that one." Lucas did shift his hand up and lifted the blonde hair to reveal a lightning bolt shaped scar over his right eye. "The shift wouldn't change that one as much as I had hoped."

"Metamorph." The Goblin said after a moment of thought.

"Yes and no." Lucas finally agreed. "I am separate and there are others. His mind and soul has been fractured. His blood is my blood, his memories are my memories, but my blood is not his, nor are my memories...yet." Lucas spoke faintly, another glint of amusement. "I suppose that's what happens when people try to kill you on a weekly basis."

The Goblin shot Lucas a startled glance before the sneer settled itself firmly on his face again. "We'll need a blood sample since you obviously don't have your key."

"Key?" Lucas asked idly. "True. I know nothing at all. I think you can deal with my Truth now, I tire of this."

The shadows that had been wrapped around Lucas slithered down onto the ground, joining with the rest, the room darkening slightly before shifting back to normal. Lucas features melting and shifting away as his frame shrunk and shivered away to leave a rather malnourished and pale looking boy with green eyes that flared suddenly with a burst of power. The final change was from Lucas' pale arms to Harry's blood soaked ones, the cut no longer looking as healed as it was.

"Mr. Potter, I presume?" The Goblin asked mildly, slightly impressed by what had gone on.

Harry's eyes opened wide as he looked around fearfully, then at the creature before him as he backed further into his chair for half a second before his emotions calmed and he nodded a bit fearfully. After all, he still wasn't even eleven years old yet. "...And you are?"

"Boltclaw." The Goblin responded with an amused smirk. "Welcome to the Bank. What do you recall?"

"Ah. Cutting my arm open, writing for help in the bathroom, giving it to that owl, and then falling." Harry responded with a faint frown as he started to relax, a feeling of calm permeating his entire being. "Everything else, a bur, but I met...Tom? A barkeep? Then now."

"Excellent." Boltclaw responded. The Goblin pulled out a piece of parchment and slid it across the desk with a small pin. "Gringotts needs a drop of blood to ensure you are whom you say you are and to give you the best service you can receive."

"What's a little more bloodshed?" Harry asked airily, his voice squeaking a bit as he tried to hide his nervousness behind a failed facade of bravado. He grimaced slightly as he looked at his own hands before taking the pin, blood covered both of them, his own blood nonetheless. He brushed away the dried blood that was flaked to his skin and made a small cut with the pin on a fingertip, dropping a few drops of blood onto the parchment.

Boltclaw barked out a couple of orders when he received the parchment back, an armed goblin wandering in and giving a startled glance at Harry before Boltclaw waved it off before speaking rapidly in the same language before the Goblin ran out with the parchment. "You shall receive a new key momentarily, Mr. Potter, is there anything else I can do for you today?" The ancient looking Goblin looked interestedly at him."

"Ah...this isn't all some sort of cracked hoax, is it?" Harry finally asked, getting a nod in response before he slumped down in his chair. "How much money do I have?"

"You would be considered moderately wealthy, Mr. Potter." Boltclaw responded. "Your Father came from a wealthy family and everything was pretty much left to you. You won't have to work a day in your life and you'll have enough money left over for your children to pretty much the same."

Harry paused and stared at the Goblin for a moment before he started to curse loudly and angrily. "I was lied to! They told me my parents were no good bums and drunks and died in a car crash! I'll kill them!" Harry suddenly cut off his rant as he slumped even further into his chair. "Fine. Sorry. Thank you. How many pounds do I have in my vault specifically?"

"We use a different monetary system in the Wizarding World, Mr. Potter." Boltclaw responded. "As I am not your Account Holder, I do not have immediate access to that information, but that is what is being received right now. I will tell you the conversion rate. We use Gold Galleons, Silver Sickles and Bronze Knuts. 29 Knuts to a Sickle, 17 Sickles to a Galleon. A Galleon is about five pounds sterling after conversion."

"So, how many Knuts to a Galleon?" Harry asked.

"493."

"Ah." Harry responded after a moment, blinking a few times. "That'd be a good reason that it'd be worth a fiver." Harry mumbled, scratching at the dried blood on his arm, flaking it away even more. "Sorry about the mess."

Boltclaw just waved it off as another Goblin came in, swiftly handing him a piece of paper before jogging back out of the room. "Here we go. Your Vault number is 687. Rounded down you have about 600,000 Galleons all said and done.

Harry choked for a moment on air as he repeated that out loud, converting it. "...three million pounds."

"Yes, like I said, moderately wealthy, you do manage to scrape your way into the top thousand wealthiest members of Europes Wizarding Society." Boltclaw nodded. "Though, you do make a sizeable income from obtained businesses and literary works."

"...You'll have to explain that one to me in plain English, Boltclaw."

"They have books about you, fiction stories specifically. You are a National Hero in Britain and the Isles. Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived."

Now if he was anyone else, Harry probably would've done the right thing and pass out there and then from the shock. However, he was whom he was and he tensed suddenly. "I'm not sure if I like that really." he mumbled under his breath before giving Boltclaw another flat look. "National Hero, right. Then why was I dumped off at a home that hates me, left to rot, be beaten, starved, and such? Whatever, don't answer that." Harry took a deep breath and scratched at the cut on his forearm idly since it was itching. "Maybe I should move to North America, I hear it's a nice place to live."

Boltclaw looked almost alarmed at that, especially since, all things considered, that amount of money was still a sizeable sum and if it was the fault of someone, there would be hell to pay and he sure as hell wasn't going to take the fall for it. "Perhaps you might use it to your advantage?"

Harry nodded absently. "I need to get myself a home and someone to help. Someone to help me learn all of...this." Harry waved out his bloodied arm.

"There are places available and for sale all along Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley." Boltclaw offered but Harry shook his head at that. "Agreed, too busy. Hogsmeade is a small village near the school you'll be attending, I'm sure you'll be able to find something there, even if you need to buy someone out. I can have that done, for a fee."

"How much of a fee, specifically?" Harry eyed the Goblin for a moment.

"A small percentage of course." Boltclaw smiled greedily.

"Allocate...uhh...fifty thousand galleons to this." Harry said with a faint shrug. "Probably more than what I'll need to spend to buy a home, but I'll need furniture as well. Can you or someone from Gringotts do that for me?"

"You won't need to spend that much, Mr. Potter." Boltclaw said after a second.

"Well, whatever doesn't get spent can go back into the vault. You said a small percentage right? Well, you get this done today, how's a thousand galleons to you yourself sound? Or is, er, that not enough?"

Boltclaw had his own chance to choke. He started to shake his head vehemently before he got himself under control. "Mr. Potter, it'll be a pleasure to have this handled as soon as possible, it will be done before the end of today."

"Really? Wicked." Harry grinned happily, still not sure what he was doing, but the voice in his head had started to talk again and he was following the very useful suggestions. "I'm going to need some money to go shopping and all that rot I suppose."

* * *

**Authors Note**: What is this? I have no clue. Crazy and MPD Harry for one. Another idea that was from...somewhere, I don't remember. This was going to be a lot more violent though. It's certainly one of the longer and more interesting pieces I stopped working on while I've been writing my main fics too.

I was leaning more towards lots of melee weaponry, but small concealable stuff, no big fancy Gryffindor sword for Harry. But he was going to hack and slash his way through those that were out to get him, leaving a path of corpses in his wake. Totally was heading towards Dark!Harry but not Evil. Also, Bastard Dumbles. XD

The other 'personalities' were going to be lifted from different series as well. Lucas up there was a slightly more intelligent Naruto, Sheila was going to be a mute Kasumi from Ranma1/2, and the next personality that was going to show up was going to be a male version of Gasai Yuno from Mirai Nikki.


	9. Naruto x Uzumaki

Everything begins with a single point and spirals from there. Up or down, in or out, always in motion until the very.

Everything in life has a spiral from the most mundane to the most complex. From the shell of a small animal of the ocean to the intricate points within the body of a mammal.

To understand that was to understand strength in simplicity and one who understood could take hold of this strength.

But everything has a price.

It all began millennia ago. The madness of the spirals. Twisting and turning in a grotesque manner that could not be stopped until one man finally understood.

The beginning and the end.

At first he watched, trying to comprehend as things twisted around him. The madness grew as the bodies piled up, twisted and wrong until it finally descended upon him in a fit of grief.

That was when he understood. That was when he also started to go mad and twisted. At first he inflicted his new powers and abilities in a twisted manner, falling deeper and deeper into madness, inflicting grotesque spirals into others forcefully.

A swirl of corpses and maddening glee had been left behind with bloody smiles and broken bones.

Then one day he saw her. She was there in the beginning and had tried to help solve the first bout of madness. She had lost an arm back then, it twisting and snapping to the howls of her pain and fear.

She had helped him to understand, but when she left he had turned into what they had originally fought to prevent.

She looked on him in pity as he fell to his knees, the madness clearing away as he wept tears stained with the dried blood on his face.

Why? Why? Why?

Why had things turned out this way?

She proceeded to comfort him, wiping his tears away, cleaning the bloodied, drawn in spirals from his body and then she laid with him.

The day after she put a bullet through his brain.

Around nine months later she died in childbirth uttering only a single word after the entire thirteen hours of labour.

"Uzumaki."

Her insides had been twisted into a spiral and the child had disappeared into the system and hadn't been found again.

The child survived and understood the spiral. He only went by the name Uzumaki, signifying both what he controlled and held back.

He was growing mad when he met his beloved, she stoppered the effects as they fell in love, married, and had children.

This was when the Uzumaki family were first born. Their children took their equal share of the madness while evolving the power.

As more Uzumaki were born, the madness ebated, but they were all taught about their strengths and weakness.

The line continued even as the world burned.

Nuclear War decimated the world and in the advanced combat of the world, the moon itself was destroyed in an attempt to destroy ones enemies.

The suffering, pain, anger, hate, and even madness grew through the world cultivating in the Abomination. It was the anthesis of life which was shown off with almost contempt in it's eye. Never ending circles with no ending and no beginning was what made up its solitary eye.

During this period a single boy was born to nameless parents, having the selfsame mockery of life within his eyes, though not of his own choice. His unnamed parents had given birth to him in the exact area the Abomination first appeared.

He roamed the world looking for ways to defeat the Abomination and eventually came across the Uzumaki clan.

For seven days and seven nights he knelt in front of the Great Gate while those who lived near the massive whirlpools debated.

After the final day had ended and the eighth night began, the Great Gate opened and allowed the man in.

He was welcomed with trepidation even as he once again fell before the great Uzumaki clan. The ones that had been rumored to have powers that were unfathomable. Upon his knees he begged to be taught their ways and to understand their strengths so that he may be able to seal the Abomination away.

They were unwilling to part with their secrets until the nameless man showed some of his own weird abilities. He brought back to life a child that had recently been in a fatal accident knowing full well it was a mockery of their beliefs. It went against the end of the point, the end if the spiral.

He apologized for such a slight and proclaimed this was why he wished to be taught, to learn the way of the Uzumaki. He wished to break the Circle so that it may become a proper spiral with a beginning and an end once more.

Thus began the training of the Uzumaki That Was Not.

Years more passed during his training as he was taught the ways of the Uzumaki, and in turn taught his own discoveries to them.

On his thought to be final days with the Uzumaki, the one who was not had been given a new name, a new title. He was from then on to be known as the Sage.

He once again fell to his knees before these...his...people and wept.

One year later the Sage returned, a new Moon within the sky and the Abomination sealed away into two parts. He had used a combination of his own offensive abilities and those of his teachers to create a set of new abilities.

He taught this Chakra usage to the younger of the Uzumaki while the Elders looked on in disappointment at the inclusion of the Circle to their training. Eventually the Sage married a Non-Uzumaki and taught her the same things.

He continued to teach and the Uzumaki adapted. They thought it was a sign from the Gods when he had his firstborn son. Uchiha was his name and his eyes were the swirl given manifest.

The Uzumaki as a whole rejoiced over the firstborn even as a year later the second born named Senju was born with with pale blue eyes and blonde hair much like his mother.

They took to the training with a fever, expanding upon their hidden knowledge and the invented Fuuinjutsu to show, study, and understand that of the Chakra that the Sage had taught them.

Time passed as the Sage taught his Firstborn everything he knew with more and more Uzumaki skills and strengths than his younger son. That was when Uchiha started to show signs of The Madness, something the Uzumaki had forgotten about.

The madness in Uchiha was not inherent in Senju and when the Sage had realized this, he made his secon son his successor and also shared his secrets with him.

This made Uchiha jealous his swirled eyes spinning madly. Soon the brothers fought for their inheritance and when Uchiha lost, he declared he would hate his Brother from that day forth and all of his blood would fight all of Senju's.

The minor madness within the Uchiha would remain unchecked for centuries.

Time marched on and The Sage eventually died, the spirit of the Abomination within him being split into nine separate monstrosities. Thankfully, Senju and his own children were able to subdue the beasts, despite their rather extravagant sizes. The fact was that they almost treated them like pets.

Time marched on, Senju taking his family away from the lands if the Uzumaki though keeping close ties to the ones that taught him and his and his father. The reasons for as such lost in the memory of time. Though they had kept close enough to inter-marry with all who married an Uzumaki taking on their name once their first child was born.

As the decades and perhaps even centuries passed, the legend if the Sage grew over time until he had become the Sage of the Six Paths and the God of Shinobi.

Continually Uchiha fought Senju until the time of the Great Villages had begun. Having long fought each other, the reasons completely forgotten over the years of bitter bloodshed, peace between the two clans was finally worked out and they banded together to create the Village of Konohagakure.

That was when things kicked into high gear once again. The leader of the Senju, Hashirama, and the leader o the Uchiha, Madara, fought for Leadership of the Village.

It was not the first, nor the last time they would fight and Hashirama won that round, becoming the First Hokage. Their final fight destroyed the landscape and came to be known as The Valley at the End. Once again, Hashirama won but at great cost. He was dying and he knew he didn't have much time left. He left his brother as the second Hokage and gave him his student as well, a boy by the name of Hiruzen Sarutobi. At the same time he also had the majority of the beasts he had been guarding spread through the land while his second wife, Mito Uzumaki became the Jinchuuiki for the one he kept, the Kyuubi.

Hashirama didn't live to see his granddaughter born to his only child from his first wife. Nor did he live to see the true beginning of the first Great Shinobi War between the villages. Due to this he did not see his first student become Third Hokage and the end of the War due to his brothers great sacrifice.

Mito Uzumaki remained childless throughout the rest if her life and decades passed before the start if the second Great War. Hiruzen continued to be Hokage even as he taught a trio of students, raising them as best as he could including Tsunade Senju.

The war cause devastation all over the Nation and due to Mito Uzumaki being of the Uzumaki clan, the once great protectors were a target of several nations.

During the course of the war all villages were brought to an all time low. The Senju had been decimated to nearly the last, leaving Tsunade as the only one remaining. To top things off there was an invasion against the land of Whirlpools and the village of Uzu was utterly destroyed leaving a single girl alive.

The second war ended with only three Uzumaki living within the world.

Mito Uzumaki, Jinchuuriki.

Kushina Uzumaki, Survivor.

Nagato Uzumaki, inheritor of the great Sage's eyes for he was born on the ground where the great Abomination had come to be.

None knew if the true past if the Uzumaki and not soon after the second war ended did there remain only two Uzumaki.

It would be more than a decade after the Second War that the Third War would start. Tensions had been sparking between Iwa and Konoha ever since Konoha had found out that those from Earth Country had decimated the majority of the Uzumaki and the Senju and when two smaller Villages had started to skirmish they requested backup from tier allies and things expanded from there.

Kushina and Nagato both grew stronger and stronger as the years passed though neither knew of each other. They both thought of themselves as the last of their family and trained themselves to be the very best. Unknowingly they had taken opposite sides with the same ideals.

Nagato wished for peace and would use Pain to accomplish that goal, even if it meant recreating the Juubi.

Kushina wished for peace and would do what she could to ensure that there would never again be a weapon for war like she was.

Neither knew of the truth. The Uzumaki forgot long ago about the point of beginning and the point of end. They had forgotten about the great spirals that they had used to strengthen themselves and their comrades. They had forgotten what they had trained for despite still going trough the same training. They had forgotten about the madness that had been broken down between them.

Then one day came and a new Uzumaki was born. A child borne from Kushina and her beloved, the recently appointed Fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze. It was also the day of the return of a man long thought dead, Madara Uchiha.

He had given into the power and ideals of the Abomination an it's contemptuous Circle. The madness of the original Uchiha had festered and grown until it took over Madara and he would use that power to free the Abomination from the Moon. He took the teachings of the past an twisted them into a blasphemous travesty.

He broke the seal keeping Kushina's prisoner locked away then was beaten back by Minato, and it was only due to her fortitude and training that she managed to even survive that. By the end of that dark night, for not even an hour there had been three Uzumaki once more. The first newborn since the destruction of Uzu, his name Naruto Uzumaki.

Unwittingly, Kushina had borne a child that would not be trained like an Uzumaki should. She didn't know that, even as she protected her first and only son while being skewered by a large claw, there would be even more problems than ever before.

With her last breath, she and her beloved sealed the Kyuubi once more. They did not see the center of the intricate seal twisting as they died.

They did not see the spiral upon young Naruto's stomach signifying that he would be a true Uzumaki. One with the powers and strengths not seen since Before, one that would be untrained, one that did not have the safety of numbers of his clan to diminish the madness. As the boy was quickly found near the dead bodies of his parents, no one noticed the blood on the ground twisting into a slow and terrifying spiral.

Everything begins with a single point.

The true madness and power of the Uzumaki now had access to a living, sentient mass of chakra to manipulate.

Not since the first incident of grotesque manner of murders years ago had anyone understood. Chaos was once again going to descend, the bodies would pile up, the blood will be splattered and the spirals of death would reappear.

The Maelstrom could be a savior.

The Maelstrom could end the entire world.

He was Naruto Uzumaki and the deadly spirals were already spreading.

* * *

**Author Note:**

Uzumaki and a Naruto Crossover? Not many of those about. Mind you, this was written completely on my ipod touch over two days while I was at work so there's been no spellchecks and what have you. I don't even know why I started writing it, but there you go.

If this was to keep going it'd very very dark and have a possibly evil Naruto, though I'd like for it to be subtle. Of course, it could also be the complete opposite.

I was playing fast and hard with the Uzumaki storyline, just taking the basics and adapting from there, as none of that really happened, but, it'd made for an interesting idea.


	10. Bleach x Prototype xXx First Ever? xXx

The Shattered Shaft

How long have I been down here? How much longer do I need to stay? It's rather odd I think. Honestly I'm not even sure what's really going on. I've lost track of time and all my thoughts stopped being coherent before I was dropped down here.

I was dead, yet I wasn't at the same time. I could feel something deep within, the remnants of the virus? Was my real body still infected and mutating despite no longer having my soul attached?

Well, it's not like this is the first time I've died. The first time was years ago and I had no memory of who I was before that. So I pretended to be who I was told to be and...I devoured the scum of the streets. It was an instinct I developed and I put out a happy shell while gaining more power and knowledge and I kept doing it until one day.

That was when Mother was eaten by something. She hadn't seen it, but I could. I thought it was just someone lost, but then it attacked and Mother dies trying to defend me, the monster that was once her son.

That was the last day I devoured someone, finally appreciating the loss of like that I had caused. They might have been scum, criminals all the same, but they too might've had family. I changed my shell and my act was no longer just an act.

Years passed from that incident and I no longer used my powers, no longer did I hunt and kill, instead I just was. That continued to the day when She showed up. She was like It. The thing that killed Mother...yet different. At first She didn't notice me and then tried to bind me, it took little effort to shift my mass and break it.

Then we were attacked by something like It and She gave me her Power to protect my remaining family. I felt different, unlike myself. It was like I had been distilled down what I could have been. My clothing changed and now I had a sword that wasn't. It sure didn't feel like it belonged to me and now I had a new act to prepare. First though I killed It outside before it could bring harm to my Family.

More of them showed, you could say we had some adventures for a little while. I would leave my body to slay and purify these things, but every time I did and went back to my real body I would feel like I had consumed at least one person, usually more, each time. Even the one that went to Hell.

The replacement soul said he always felt odd in my body, but that my legs were the best ever. No one seemed surprised when he leapt several stories into the air either so I just went with it.

That was when It showed up for the first time since Mother died, in the Anniversary at the Graveyard no less. I had never felt such rage before as I tried to destroy it but that was to no avail, it fleeing before I could put my sword that wasn't through its face. Perhaps if it had been my own weapon I would have been able to destroy it, or if She hadn't forced me from my body I would have devoured and consumed It, but to no avail.

Things were quiet for a couple of days, of course I knew that wasn't going to stay as such. An idiot brought forth tons of Them in an effort to say he was better than I. It took all my self-control to not break my vow to not kill then and there. I could already feel the amount of them converging on the town and I had to protect me and Mine.

The idiot did apologize after the fact, especially when made a crack in the sky. It was the largest any of us had ever seen and She later said that She had only seen pictures of them in books. The worst we could do was wound it, it fleeing before we could kill it.

That seemed to be the pattern of things as of late, things fleeing before I could finish them off. I honestly wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not with that thing. It had felt like the thing had been stuffed together from a bunch of smaller ones and was hell bent of destruction and feeding its hunger.

Things came to a head as those people appeared with powers like the ones She had given to me. I couldn't beat them and they took Her away after trying to obliterate my new powers. I found out that they only took the ones She gave me and I had my own.

Then I ended up here.

Get out or turn into one of Them. I would not be like It. I refused to give in.

How much time have I spent thinking these things?

The pain was getting worse every time, and looking down at my chest, time was running out.

This would have been easier with my body, I could just jump out, or claw my way upwards. I couldn't shift my mass as a ghost since I had none.

Then the darkness started to come. I had run out of time.

Everything froze as I stared down at the end of the chain, less than an inch away from my chest. I blinked and everything changed.

I was startled as I found myself somewhere that wasn't the Shaft. I could tell I wasn't alone either and when I looked up, I saw a man dressed in black, his cloak writhing about, shifting like when I shifted my mass.

He spoke one sentence before disappearing, "Find the real me before everything breaks apart." A multitude of boxes appeared all over this odd landscape. I could already sense the real box, but everything started to crumble. I would have to take a different path to get to it.

I didn't want to die for a third and final time.

It didn't take me too long to find the real one once I found the proper path, pulling a different blade than what I was use to from the box. Unlike before, this one felt right and instead of feeling distilled down to a single part, I felt...whole.

I blinked and was back to reality, a black and red husk falling away from me and disintegrating while they all watched me with intrigue in their eyes. I was wearing the same uniform as before but this time lined in red, my old sword replaced with what looked like a cleaver and no guard with blood red bandages around the hilt instead of the usual handle.

They continued to watch as I took a swing with my sword, it felt like an extension of me and proper, unlike before. I blinked down at it and nodded before shifting my mass and absorbing the sword into me, my black uniform shifting as well to a pair of plain clothes, the shroud of black and red biomass hiding the quick changes.

That got more than a few gasps of surprises, especially since someone that was aware wouldn't be able to tell me from any actual person on the street then. I shrugged it off and looked around at those now assembled. Still the shopkeeper and his staff, the Cat was gone now too.

"What now?" I asked, almost softly. I think I surprised them with my lack of anger.

The Shopkeeper answered me with a wave of his ridiculous fan. "Now we train until you're strong enough to rescue her."

I nodded and thought about it for a moment. I would need to get back to my body soon of course, if only to see if these abilities would also work in my real body.

At least I was no longer down in the Shaft. Yet I also had the suspicious feeling that I wasn't being told everything.

I got in a standard stance from a memory I had consumed before Mother died and shifted my sword into my hand and shifted my clothing back into that uniform. It would be best to try and blend in after all. A split second later and I took the first swing

* * *

We fought for a week with very few breaks in-between, I developed a couple ways to attack in the meantime and was thankful for the experience, it was better than relying on memories for a different body. I did also get back into my own body during that time and found out that I could use my sword while within my body. I also found out several differences between my two forms. Within my real body I could use all my abilities and learn new ones, I could still consume if I felt the need as well. While in my Spiritual body I could only use the abilities I already had. I was also stronger and faster in my spiritual body.

It was definitely strange and I was seriously contemplating bring my real body with until I was told it wouldn't be possible.

Outside of finding out that Father was also Aware and had been lying about it, the rest of the time was spent fighting more and more save for the final night before we all had left.

Someone was looking for me, an American at that, and I had overheard him reporting about the last safe strain of the virus and the last Prototype. They had tracked the Prototype to this area of Japan but had lost all trace years ago until a new rumor had finally filtered through the lines.

I listened in while in my Spiritual Body since he couldn't see me and was unaware. This man was a remnant of Blacklight and wasn't supposed to be operating in this country.

I would have left him be of it wasn't for the fact that these people weren't real scum. Torturers that experimented on people for fun and then killed those that didn't meet proper safety protocols and standards. This one before me had no family and had already killed a girl in the very room for information.

When he was done, I didn't even think of going back home to get my real body. I consumed, ate him then and there, and sent his soul straight to Hell with the bottom of my sword.

I was their target, the last Prototype after the events in New York over a decade ago when Alex Mercer let the virus loose, killing millions of people.

I was a monster, a killer, true. I was also a defender and a protector. It was the way my name was spelt after all.

I quickly destroyed the entire area where I found him before heading home and getting my body. Shifting my mass to look like him, I made my way to where he was staying with his memories and torched the building.

He was the only casualty; all they could find of his body was ashes from being at the center of the blaze.

"Bastards." I muttered softly to myself about an hour after the fact. It would just have to be dealt with after we got back from rescuing Her.

It had been so easy to kill him in the end. I had just walked up behind him quietly, took both hands and with a quick jerk of my wrists I had snapped his neck and then consumed him just like that. I probably should have felt ski over it, but I felt...detached over the destruction and simple murder I had just caused.

It was as if those emotions and feelings were beneath me. Though through my detachment had what I had done, underneath I all, I felt a semblance of rage and anger. Someone was attempting to hunt me and it angered me to the same degree when I felt It for the second time.

I wasn't prey. I was the predator.

And after my first real kill in years...I was hungry.

None of them thought anything was different with me, that I wasn't some sort of abnormality.

* * *

The conversion for the others, I was told, was relatively painless, we made it through without a problem and when we emerged on the opposite side, I felt oddly...energized was the best word to fit the situation.

Everyone seemed to be weirded out by the smirk on my face, but I didn't let that bother me. I felt oddly free here in this place. No restrictions, as if I could actually be myself.

Oddly enough I also was finally able to remember their names, a process I had always had trouble with. The Idiot, whose ass I still wanted to kick, was Ishida Uryu. Big Guy was Sado Yatsura, though he looked more like a Chad kind of guy what with being half Mexican or something. The Girl, my perhaps girlfriend or something very similar, was Orihime Inoue. Finally was the Cat was someone or thing named Yoruichi. I couldn't tell if it was male or female and their presence felt off somehow, skewed on purpose.

I would have to learn that.

The first day or so was rather uneventful all things considered. I nearly killed the Gatekeeper by the name of Jidan...something or another, and almost got in fight with a Captain with this weird smirk on his face. Then came the weirdo with the pig and then off to see a friend of the Cat's.

We spent the night there, both so that they could catch up, and so that our way to find Her could be set up. I was quiet the entire time I was there if only to keep from displaying my annoyance at One Arm's younger brother the Pigboy. We were supposed to control our spirits in some sort of technique and tried to keep things balanced for the day after.

I laughed in their faces at that one.

"I've got more power than all of them combined right now." I did exclude Yoru-cat though since the fake animal was obviously suppressing their power.

I didn't tell them that I was slowly absorbing the extra energy in the surroundings, leeching and consuming it away so very slowly. It had the double benefit of making me stronger as time ticked by, but also made those that stayed in close proximity stronger as well.

Or at least it would in the long run. Spiritual Energy is much like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. A constant leech would mean they weren't at full power all the time, sure, but they would surpass their limits soon enough.

The more people I was around, the more I figured I would absorb. Same went with stronger opponents I assumed.

The second day we all practiced so that I could tone down my spiritual power to their levels so that our method of tea scot atop didn't explode. It wasn't all that hard after the first few tries. It was just like shifting my mass, though at this point there was significantly less of that in comparison.

A simple shift and most of my power was cut off, putting on their level. It, amusingly enough, completely startled both the Cat and Ishida. It was the first time I had done it like that and it was oddly thanks to Pigboy that I even thought of it. I had been unconsciously leaking out power ever since I had been a kid, or so the Cat had said.

That was now fully put to a stop then and there, at least until this little trip was over. The leak helped me get stronger just I was helping my companions get stronger; perhaps it might be enough to get my revenge.

The third day was when we finally made our way into the enemy's stronghold to save Her.

That was when things really got complicated.

* * *

**Author Note:** Lolwat? There's no Prototype and Bleach crossovers? I must rectify this with something that sucks!

First person because it's easier to write the total apathy that Ichigo feels for most things. Features, or should feature a Dark!Ichigo, but not Evil. Though, most people would have problems distinguishing between the two. I suppose he's more of an Anti-Hero.

As for his Bankai and what have you? It'd probably be different than Zangetsu and should 'Consume Everything'.

This would also give a bit more reason for Ichigo to be stupid overpowered than the 'Oh, it's cause he's human' excuse. Maybe he'd even kill some Shinigami instead of just beating them down. Speaking of which, who, other than nameless hollows, does Ichigo actually kill...er purify? I should look into that.


	11. Harry Potter x Buffy The Vamp Slayer

It all started years ago when I was still a kid. I was minding my own business, hanging out with Willow and Jessie when I got home late one day, when dear ol' dad decided I hadn't been showing enough respect or something equally stupid and in his usual drunken state, I ended up in bed half beaten to death. I don't really recall what I said to myself or what really happened, but I ended up passing out and wishing I had been somewhere else. It didn't matter where; I just didn't want to be Xander while I slept.

As soon as I fell asleep, I woke up once more. This time with a resounding headache and a soundless scream of pain ripping past my throat as I thrashed about.

I got my wish and woke up, not as Xander Harris, but as Harry Potter.

I knew everything that had happened to me as Harry just as I knew everything that happened to me as Xander. As Harry I was younger though and instead of physical abuse like what Tony was reaping on me, the Dursleys preferred a more emotional abuse to go along with some of that physical pain.

I spent a day as Harry, young and relaxing for the most part. Kindergarten was much more relaxing than Grade school. The weird part was that Harry was British while Xander was in sunny California. It didn't bother me though.

I did the chores early and quickly, made dinner for the Dursleys while sneaking myself some bacon and then went off to my cupboard under the stairs without complaint to play with my broken used toys and converses quietly with the spiders. I fell asleep, almost happy as Harry.

Then I woke up as Xander once again.

I didn't tell Jessie or Willow. It was all just a realistic dream, right? Saturday was the day of the week for the two of me, as odd as that sounds. So I did my homework and listed around the mall. I was still a bit sore from Tony's fists beating me about the face so I was overly joyful when I got home and the man was already passed out.

I went to bed, expecting nothing.

I woke up as Harry once more.

Weeks passed and the same process repeated itself.

Then months.

As the years started to go by I started to use the extra time I received to do things. While I was Harry I had a way easier time in school. It was all something I had already done as Xander so I didn't really bother doing things normally. At the same time, whenever I got a better mark than Dursley I was punished so I slacked off as both Harry and Xander, but only publicly. I used my time as Harry to study ahead for Xander's studies and scored high enough on my tests to keep passing.

Things were slightly odd as Harry, my hair didn't grow, I seemed to teleport every so often when running from Dudley and his gang an on Dudley's 11th birthday, I vanished some glass and a snake thanked me for letting it go after Dudley fell through and the glass was replaced.

On my second 11th birthday was when things really started to get strange. While I was in High school now as Xander with both Willow and Jesse, I found out that I was a Wizard as Harry.

Talk about surreal.

I fell asleep on Hagrid's motorcycle and as Xander I went to look up everything I could at the local library. Sadly I didn't find anything at all, and for the first time I wondered if I was in two different worlds. I still continued to look but I didn't find much. There was still a month until school either way so I would just have to learn that way. The next day as Harry I got my school supplies and oddly enough two wands.

The entire trip to Ollivander's was strange to say the least. When I received my first wand, waving it around as it accepted me, a second came flying from the back, spinning wildly until it landed in my free hand. My first was the brother wand to the one that killed Harry's parents; I took it, secretly vowing to bring Justice to Voldemort. The second wand was a Twin to my first, made from the same Holly branch that my first was made from. Whereas my first wand contained a core of Phoenix Feather, my second contained a core from the mane of a Thestral.

The cycle of life and death, huh? I wasn't sure how either wand fit me, but the Phoenix Wand was Harry's and the Thestral Wand was Xander's. I could just feel it.

I continued my shopping; meeting a little brat in one of the shops and Hagrid bought me a snowy owl. The bird didn't look to be too impressed with him but seemed to brighten up while she looked at me. I guess I passed some sort of test that day with her.

I still think Hedwig is an odd name though.

I kept quiet about the money I had as Harry for a few reasons. I didn't want Vernon or Petunia demanding it from me, and I was used to being broke as Xander. Oh I would splurge; there was no doubt about that. After all, Harry still hadn't enjoyed the pure Godliness that was a Twinkie.

Though, from what I could tell was that these Wizard people were mostly backwards. Hagrid had an awesome Bike though.

Thus began the longest month of my life since I started to live two lives. I couldn't wait to get to Hogwarts. No longer living two mundane lives.

If only I had known what I would be getting into as Xander when She showed up and everything tuned for the worse. I certainly would have tried to pay attention in DADA class.

Harry might be the boy that lived and all that nonsense but Xander was the teen that killed Vampires.

Break.

I was ahead of my classes in High school thanks to my split time, so I started to reverse the situation and started to study and practice what I could to help myself at Hogwarts. I might not have been able to cast or mix potions or even read ahead, but I did catch up with my verbalization and actual wand movements.

The conversation with Jesse about why I was carrying a small stick around was a bit on the embarrassing side.

"Xan, what's with the stick in your pocket?"

"Well, it's a stick. And in my pocket. Yep that sums everything up."

"Funny, really."

"What? A man can't just find a suitable stick to have?"

"A man would carry a branch the size of a staff, not a twig that'll snap if you swing it wrong." Jesse pointed out.

"This is just the first stage." I said pompously, crossing my arms with said stick in my back pocket. "You don't just go carrying around a heavy weight; you need to work into it."

Jesse gave me the flattest stare I could ever remember and I was suddenly glad Willow wasn't around with her resolve face. I would have cracked and lost it then and there.

That was when I defended my possession the manliest way possible.

"I thought it was pretty." and I stalked off in a fake huff to his laughter.

That was all on the first day of Grade 10 in High School at Sunnydale High.

Though it was also the day I realized I was living in two different times. It was the same day, just five years apart. Xander was in 96 while Harry was in 91. I hadn't thought about it before, to be honest. I was pretty much the same age and really it was a good way to make money in the future if certain things were actually the same.

In the end that September First was the best day of my two lives.

If only the euphoria had stayed.

Break

The first half of my year at Sunnydale High was pretty uneventful. I hung out with Jesse and Willow and just pretended to be normal and that nothing was bothering me.

My time at Hogwarts though. Oh boy.

As I said, the First of September was the best day of my life. Vernon gave me a lift to London and things went from there.

There was a redheaded family just standing around when I had shown up muttering out something called a Muggle and seem to be rather flustered and tense.

Then I could have sworn she saw me, paused, took a breath, and then started to ask her children where 9 3/4ths was. Loudly.

Seriously?

Yet the odd thing was no one other than I seemed to notice. No one stopped what they were doing and to me it seemed like a huge setup.

Her older children looked at her oddly when what looked like the youngest one piped up where it was and that she wanted to go too. Okay it might've been a set up just for me since Hagrid had neglected to tell me where I needed to go.

So I took the bait and was shown how to go through the portal and met the Weasley family for the first time.

Once I was on the train, dragging my case along with Hedwig I found a compartment with a pair of brunettes, one a shy, chubby boy that reminded me of Jesse before he discovered the joy of sarcasm, and a rather bossy looking girl.

"Er, can I join you?" I asked politely.

Both nodded easily as I dragged in my trunk and set Hedwig on a seat before shoving my trunk under the seats. "Thanks."

"Hi. I'm Hermione Granger and this is Neville Longbottom." The girl, Hermione spoke up indicating the two of them as I sat next to Neville.

"H-hi." Neville mumbled out softly while giving me an odd look.

"Good to meet you, I'm Harry Potter." I raised my hand to shake Neville's as both of them seemed to bug out. Neville just seemed to squeak as Hermione started to speak rapidly.

"Really? I read all about you in a bunch of books!"

"What."

"You're in The Rise and Fall of The Dark Lord and The Twenty Greatest Wizards and Witches..." Hermione continued to blabber on and I turned to look at Neville.

"Is she being serious?" I softly asked as she continued to rave about the books she read about me.

"Yes...you didn't know?"

I shook my head. "I just found out I was a wizard a month ago and that my parents weren't worthless, drunk, bums who died in a crash." I had totally forgotten about what had happened when I had been mobbed in Diagon Alley. "I haven't even had a chance to crack open my books yet. They were taken away from me the moment I got home."

Neville nodded slowly. I could tell he couldn't quite believe me as Hermione finally noticed I hadn't been paying attention and huffed silently.

"Sorry." I apologized to the cross girl with a shrug. "News to me. My Aunt and Uncle never told me anything. They don't like anything that can be considered out of the ordinary." Meaning they didn't like a 'freak' like me. Their faces would be priceless I they found out I was living two lives. I push passed that though. "So what kind of pet did you bring? I've got Hedwig here." I patted the cage as she gave off a small bark in acknowledgement.

Hermione shook her head. "My parents didn't let me have one this year. They're still not sure about this whole witchcraft thing."

Both Neville and I nodded at that before the otter boy started to speak. "I brought my Toad, Trevor." He started to smile about that as he searched around for a second. "Trevor? Trevor? Where are you? Oh no! I've lost him again...and just after Gran said not to..." he honestly looked miserable.

I exchanged a look with Hermione before letting out a small shrug. "How about we help you look for him? Also...is there a spell to maybe summon him?"

"I read about a summoning charm...but I don't think it works on living objects..." Hermione was crestfallen by her apparent lack of knowledge. She really was like Willow.

"Then we do it the old fashioned way. We look around the compartment and then around the train." I nodded at this wise idea. Toad, right? They like dark places I think?"

So we searched the train with no luck and eventually I found my way back to where we had started with an apologetic look towards Neville. "Sorry, no luck. Maybe he'll turn up later?"

Neville looks totally crestfallen when Hermione returned moments later with the same result. A minute later and that brat from Diagon showed up looking for me.

"Yeah, that's me. I remember you." I looked him up and down and then at the two behind him. "Minions? Really?"

The boy instantly flushed and Neville smiled slightly at that. "Malfoy."

"Longbottom." The Malfoy boy stared or a moment before looking at me a moment longer with barely a glance at Hermione. "Draco Malfoy. I see you're off to a good start with finding the proper people to hang out with."

I blinked at that. Really? "Harry Potter." I introduced myself with a drawl. "I think I see where this is going." I held out my hand to shake. "Odds are we're going to disagree on it due to opposing views."

Malfoy seemed to look confused a moment as he shook my hand almost automatically before he finally realize what I was saying. "Shall we abide by some neutrality then?"

"Agreed. Though I'm sure we can easily converse about some things." I nodded and so did Draco before he turned and walked out, being flanked by his minions.

"What was that about?" Hermione asked in confusion.

"Propaganda. I listened to some of it when I was getting my robes and I knew what was coming, something I don't really agree with, but I'm certainly not looking for enemies before school even starts." I shrugged and looked at Neville since he knew the Malfoy kid.

"We've known each other for years, we get along in private, but his Father believes in Blood Purity so he acts the Dutiful Child in public."

"He's a bit of a brat, I noticed."

"Spoiled, brought up that way. His first instinct is to get his Father involved too. He can be very sarcastic so take everything he says with a light heart. He's bound for Slytherin for sure, so he'll be rude when he's flanked by others. He can't stand being surrounded by those two either."

"Politics." I murmured when Hermione started to clue in, causing a nod from the bushy haired girl.

"I didn't think people thought like that anymore. This is the 90's for crying out loud." Hermione grumbled.

FINAL BREAK

So...what happened to formatting on here? I know I've been gone a while, but what the hell? Anyway. Yeah. Harry Potter and Buffy Crossover. I've got a few HP things coming here rapidly, I was on a kick of it for a while, still am, really. Part of the reason I haven't updated in an age and a half. Sorry about that folks. This little bit of crap was inspired by an old...Innortal story? I think it was Innortal with Ranma and Evangelion. It was the only series I could think that could run parralel-ish for 7 years. Hallowe-en, Xander obviously dresses up as Alt-Harry and gets magic in the main verse with his new wand.

Second Note: So...you need to save to edit in the proper thing? Harshness.


	12. Harry Potter x Ranma

Hermione Granger was considered the brightest witch of her age. She practiced as much as she could and studied as often as possible to achieve that nominal title. It had initially caused her some problems in life in that she was an all-around genius. Before she had even started at Hogwarts, she had gone through the usual schooling system and had her A Levels, diploma, and was already choosing out what University she was going to go while several around the world had already informed her that with had a place with them if she so desired. Japan was the only exception in that she and her family were pretty much prohibited from ever going there.

Her father told her that it was just the legacy of a misspent youth and to not worry about such trivial things. Of course that piqued Hermione's interest but she was unsure what her Dentist of a Father would have done. He was so proper after all!

Her Mother, also a dentist, just smiled knowingly and chuckled softy about the whole thing.

The day after, a letter showed up on parchment written in a loopy handwritten green ink. Hermione thought it was a total hoax and was ready to just bin it as rubbish when her Father snatched the letter from her hands.

"Huh. Suppose that explains things." He had muttered and handed it off to Hermione's Mother who gave it a once over and smiled.

Hermione wrote back a reply rather reluctantly after that.

It was two days later that Professor McGonagall showed up and proved the story true. Her father however refused to go anywhere near the woman, keeping someone or furniture in between him and the transfiguration professor.

Hermione wanted to know more. She was supposed to be a witch, right? So they set a day a week later for a trip to London. Hermione spent the entire week in the library looking up various things that might have to do with it.

Her father just shook his head ruefully and gave her another pair of bracelets to replace her latest pair. They seemed a little heavier but Hermione didn't notice the difference. She received a pair of bracelets every second month from her father and they went well with the anklets she wore too.

It was the middle of July when Hermione first truly stepped into the Wizarding World through The Leaky Cauldron. Her parents didn't seem all that impressed with the look of the place and Professor McGonagall seemed to be frowning over the fact that her Father was the one to lead them inside and through the Pub before she could war her wand.

First thing first was money and so they had gone to the bank, Gringotts and Hermione got her first taste of Goblins that weren't in a movie. She didn't notice her Parents tense up before The Professor explained things.

When they made it up to a teller they were asked what they wanted in a rather rude tone from the Goblin.

"Money from Pounds to Galleons." the Professor briskly cut in before any questions could be asked.

"No account?" The Goblin sneered. "Will cost an extra one percent per galleon."

Before the Professor cut in saying that was fine, Hermione's Mother cut the old Professor off with a look of annoyance while her Father rolled his eyes and took a step back. "Let her handle this. Nabs is the one that handles the finances around the house."

The Goblin sneered again at the small woman before him but his face went neutral when 'Nabs' started shooting off questions about accounts, services, rates, security, transfers, and interest rates.

It attracted several states from nearby Tellers and customers as the meat Muggle woman seemed to pounce on every minor detail. Especially when she found out about how there was no other banks in Europe as a whole other that subsidiary Gringotts banks. Her grin grew shark like when she found that the coins used were fully bronze, silver, and gold.

"Ran." She said suddenly. "Pay the good Goblin; I have a side business to set up."

Ran rolled his eyes, pulling out his wallet from his back like he usually did and pulled out several large bills, handing them over and receiving a small bag in return with the amount inside.

Both adults shared a look when the Professor looked at them with her lips held together in a tight line. They left the bank slowly and Hermione hid a smile. First they were off to find her a wand and then to get the other supplies while the rest would be spent on books.

Her father Ran had a good chuckle when he heard that Hermione had a core of Dragon heart string in her wand. Nabs just shook her head.

The books were the easiest time, one of everything needed and a few extras pertaining to laws and legalities. The final place for the day was for robes since Hermione didn't seem to think owning a pet would be a good idea at the time. That and she didn't like toads, her Mum refused to have a bird in the house and her Dad had only decided on the neighborhood they were living in because it was pretty much a cat free zone.

At Madam Malkin's however they hit a minor stag when Hermione was asked to climb up onto the stool.

"Is it reinforced?" Ran had asked before Hermione moved to the stool.

"Reinforced?" Both the Professor and Malkin asked.

Both parents nodded while Hermione flushed red, hiding in her frizzy hair. "Things break when she's on them."

"Maybe it's accidental magic? She has a wand now so that should prevent it." the Professor said idly as if that explained everything.

"Doubtful." Ran stated flatly and just motioned Hermione forward. "Careful dear."

Hermione nodded and strode over to the stool and put one foot up on the stool and braced herself, putting her weight down and pushing off with her other foot.

The wood cracked as soon as her weight shifted and without thinking she pushed off from the stool, the force of which caused it to fall apart as Hermione hopped backwards carefully.

A quick wave from Madam Malkin and the stool repaired itself after a few seconds. "That stool is meant to hold children and small teenagers and is charmed to hold extra weight..."

The Professor waved her wand in Hermione's direction and frowned at the numbers that floated up from in pale blue. "Mr. Granger, are you aware your daughter weighs over three hundred pounds right now?"

Hermione froze in shock and turned to

Glare at her father who was starting to look a little sheepish. Nabs just rolled her eyes at the entire ordeal and turned to her husband. "Well?"

"I did nothing like Pops did." Ran defended himself. "Hermione knows too."

"I didn't know I was wearing that much!" Hermione screeched.

Ran rolled his eyes at that. "Dear, you started carrying a steel lined backpack at the age of six, that Umbrella that Ryo gave you for your Seventh birthday is also made from steel and titanium."

"So that's why Mum never handed me my umbrella?"

"Yep."

"You've been weight training our daughter since the age of four?" Nabs asked in a neutral voice.

"Weight, speed, and resistance training." Ran said proudly. "Safe methods too. Incremental increases every month. Especially when I found out they seemed to be adjusting higher on their own. You remember the armlet that broke after you stopped carrying your backpack in High school because of lockers."

Professor McGonagall was flabbergasted. Accidental magic that was breaking jewelry from making it weigh more? What was with these strange Muggles?

"Step up on this one dearie. This is one is for the adults and is much more secure." Madam Malkin cut in, floating out a different stool with a wave of her wand. The stool was a bit bigger and made from thicker material.

Hermione nodded as stood up, a sudden swarm of measuring tape surrounding and measuring her much like what had happened at Ollivander's shop. It didn't take long for Hermione to be fitted for several different sets of robes. Better than having only one set I clothing after all.

The final purchase for the day was a multi compartment trunk to hold all of Hermione's books, clothes, and supplies. One just needed to adjust the knob for each compartment. When they got home finally with a parchment brochure about what to expect and where to goto to get to the school, Professor McGonagall finally left them.

"Finally." Ran murmured as he flopped down on the couch in the middle of the living room.

"Dad?"

"Sorry dear, just tense all day. That Professor just put me on edge." he shrugged it off and closed his eyes as he sat back.

Nab shook her head slightly, palming some of the coins from earlier. She'd run some tests on them in the next week. "Should we order some food tonight?" She asked her husband as their daughter sat down to start reading.

"Nah. Just give me an hour or so to unwind and I'll get the food going." Ran shrugged and stood up with a yawn. "Gonna go get a shower." he walked by, rubbing Hermione's bushy hair as she read Magic Through the Ages, while somehow keeping her new wand clutched in her hand.

The year was 1990 and Hermione was going to Hogwarts. It would be a year before Harry Potter came to school.

It would be the only semi normal year she ever had while at Hogwarts.

* * *

As it was, Hermione met a few people while on board the Hogwarts Express. In a regular timeline, this would have meant Neville Longbottom, Ron Weasley, and the famous Harry Potter. This specific one, however she was born a year early to vastly different yet oddly similar parents.

Hermione was a genius in most things due to both her parents and her own inquisitive nature. She had a head for numbers and an intricate grasp of her surroundings and how useful and useable they were. That had been drilled into her head from her Father at a young age. Her hair color and eyes were inherited from her mother, but the mass amount and fizziness was from his Father's maternal grandfather.

Sometimes she wished she could have had her Father's blue eyes but she never really dwelled on it.

So when she met a few people on the train, she quickly went over everything they said and did in her head. It processes quickly and she introduced herself with a smile, very thankful she never received her Father's foot in mouth disease.

Cho Chang was of obvious Chinese descent, though her family relied on Western Magic to cast. She openly admitted that up front and that she hoped Hogwarts had some classes on Eastern Magic.

Marietta Edgecombe was a smaller girl that seemed rather nervous and bookish too. Admittedly just like Hermione was a few years ago. She had known Cho for years and didn't have many friends. She wanted to be out going but didn't quite seem to know how. It didn't help that her Mother was an important person within the Ministry and was a stickler for the rules.

The three girls shared a compartment, and quickly got to know each other. They knew they were bound for Ravenclaw, though a part of Hermione had hoped for Gryffindor, she'd rather be with her new found friends instead.

And so, Hermione met two friends on the Express while also learning of and meeting the infamous Weasley Twins who were second years. And an oddly clumsy seventh year prefect known only as Tonks. At the sorting, she marveled at the song, the enchanted ceiling, and her absolute joy at being sorted into Ravenclaw with her two new found friends.

* * *

Author's Note: Like I said in the last chapter, Harry Potter kick. This was uploaded a few minutes after the last chapter for those that read this is in the future. Don't know where it came from, just started working on it at work one day. Evidentally a slightly older Hermione fic, like...a month or so? The Ranma crossover is just slight, but I thought the idea was amusing. Having Nabiki completely run roughsod over the economy of the European Wizarding Society, especially when she finds out about France too.

Ranma's more just incidental now that I think about it, but events would proceed rather awesomely when people rediscover the 'GodSlayer' Around the time near Third Year. Maybe even as a DADA Professor?


	13. Harry Potter x Sailor Moon

Harriet Potter stared defiantly at the end tip of the wand in front of her and the one who was holding it, not quite fifteen and in another situation that could end in her death. It didn't look like keep her record and survive her Fourth year however. That was mainly due to the fact that a resurrected Lord Voldemort was the one holding the wand to her face as she was held down by a few Death Eaters.

"Such a defiant little face, Miss Potter." Lord Voldemort hissed softly, an almost smile on his reptilian face. "Are you not afraid to die today?"

Harriet almost spat in his face, instead narrowing her eyes behind her glasses. "You don't scare me, Tom."

"_Crucio." _Came the whisper and several seconds of mindless agony. "I am Lord Voldemort, little girl. One to be shown respect."

Harriet was a stubborn girl; she never did learn when to shut her mouth around people she didn't like. "I know exactly who and what you are, _Tom._" She whispered in a hiss of pain. "Now are you going to kill me or gloat?"

The wand jabbed itself into Harriet's scar, another scream of pain ripping itself from her throat as Voldemort chuckled to himself, pulling away and standing to look back at his Death Eaters. "Today is a glorious day, my Rebirth and my triumph over Miss Potter here. Though I do have to wonder, _where were you all!_" His voice had gone snakelike, but still understandable as he lashed out against his followers who cowered, hoping for mercy.

"My Lord…" One began before he too was screaming and flailing under a Crucio.

"Be silent, you fool." Voldemort had gone calm again as he tapped his own cheek with his wand before twirling about and looking down at Harriet. "Yes, my triumph against you. Did Dumbledore ever tell you?" The confused look was apparent on her face as he let out a bark of laughter. "That old fool, always keeping his answers to himself, there was a prophecy between you and me and yet you know nothing about it."

"You won't win in the end, Tom. My death will be a rallying point for the rest." Harriet whispered, trying to ignore the bite of pain and the blood trailing down her chin.

"Oh no, young Harriet. No no, there will be no rallying, for you see, I will not kill you. I've learned of my mistakes after going over the Prophecy a second time." Once again, Voldemort crouched in front of Harriet who glared angrily, trying to light him on fire with her mind and magic alone. "Do you wish to hear it? Mm..._The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies. And the Dark Lord will mark them as his equal, but they will have power the Dark Lord knows not and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies_."

Harriet choked for a moment as the words came out in a whisper of harsh Parseltongue. Why didn't Voldemort want his Death Eaters to know? "_So?_" She asked back in kind, several Death Eaters, including both Rockwood and Wormtail who were holding her down.

"_So, Harriet, there is more than one way to interpret a prophecy, and this shall be my interpretation in tonight's fine event._" Voldemort stood and took a few steps back. "Let her up, let it not be said that Lord Voldemort has no mercy." The ugly facsimile of a smile crossed his face once more.

"I thought you weren't going to kill me, Tom." Harriet spat as Wormtail scurried backwards and Rockwood let go, shoving her down into the dirt.

"You will not die tonight, but you will be, in one way, vanquished. Harriet Potter will perish tonight, there is no doubt. Or perhaps she just ran away? Take up your wand, Harriet, have your Final Stand."

Harriet knew she was at an extreme disadvantage as she slowly hefted up the wand that had only been inches out of her reach but a moment more. Thoughts quickly raced through her head as she tried to take her time. Was there no one coming for a last second save? She wasn't really surprised to be honest; she knew her luck was running out back in October when her name came out of that forsaken Goblet. Finally she stood before Lord Voldemort, his followers in a ring around them.

"_Diffindo!" _Harriet fueled the spell with her anger, it spiking into rage as Voldemort casually swatted the spell down into the ground away from him, causing a gash to appear in the ground. "_Depulso, Depulso, Expelliarmus!_"

Again Voldemort casually flicked away the spells while avoiding the last almost lazily. "Such childishness. _Reducto."_ Unlike Harriet's spells, more came from Voldemort's wand after he said the first one; his wand did not stop as different spells were flung from his wand almost absently.

"_Protego_." Harriet intoned frantically as the spells battered through her shield she had learned not all that long ago. She was suing all of her magic to just keep it up before suddenly she found herself on the ground screaming in pain once more.

Voldemort looked…almost disappointed. "This is the child that bested me as a toddler, and my shade only three years ago? Such a pity. _Expelliarmus_." Harriet's wand flew from her grip as he lifted the wordless Crucio.

"Just…do it…" Harriet panted out, bleeding worse despite the very short and pathetic duel.

"Oh I will, just not what you're thinking. Goodbye Harriet Potter. _Obliviate!_"

Harriet Potter knew no more.

* * *

Cedric Diggory wasn't sure what had just happened. He and Harriet were both reaching for the cup and grabbing it at the same time. He had felt a tug on his navel and swore when he realized it was a Portkey. He hadn't been expecting that, especially not when he and Harriet had landed in a graveyard.

"Wands out, you reckon?" He had asked the smaller girl who seemed to nod distractedly.

He recalled both of them having their wands out as they looked around, before he heard someone saying something. Then Harriet shoved him with all her strength, he remembered the look of utter fear on her face as she did.

Then he saw a jet of bright green light pass over where he had just been standing, another tugging sensation and he found himself looking up at a bunch of the surrounding adults.

There were so many questions being fired off, he didn't know why to think or say, so he went with what had happened instead of answer the dozens of questions. "Portkey took us to a graveyard, Harriet shoved me out of the way of a green light and I fell on the Cup and it portkeyed me back."

"Green light?" One of them asked.

Cedric nodded slightly, frowning when he felt a tug at his magic. "Yes, exactly like the Killing Curse Professor Moody showed us. I owe Harriet my life; I can feel the Debt in my magic."

That's when things got to be a bit too much and Cedric passed out from exhaustion.

* * *

Makoto Kino was a study in complexities, half hidden truths, and paradox. She was tall, strong, and athletic, some would say she had large talents in certain areas, yet she despised gym class and preferred more 'girlish' pursuits despite also ring an utter tomboy that beat up bullies.

She loved cooking and gardening, but only as a hobby and to have it look natural, despising people that fixed their gardens as if in some sort of popularity contest. It was the same with cooking, she refused to cook for others when they asked for it, but wasn't above handing out free food when she made extras.

Makoto didn't remember much of her childhood, just the vague notion that her parents had died in a crash of sort and she was the only survivor. She had scars of all sorts, no doubt from the crash, but most of those were covered by her clothes or by what little makeup she wore.

Then there was the fear of planes, it was an unnatural sensation since in the back of her head, she always wanted to fly.

Makoto was also a Mahou Shoujo, or Magical Girl. She wasn't alone in that prospect since she was a member of the Sailor Senshi with a magical binding to the largest planet in the Solar System, Jupiter, realistically making her one of the strongest Magical Girls in Japan. Of course there were exceptions in that fact due to the oddities of magic and reincarnation. Going by pure magical ability alone, she outclassed every one of her friends but Usagi had access to that rare type of purifying magic and the Ginshinzou, Setsuna had millennia of experience and the Time Gates to work on her prowess, and little Hotaru had the even rarer Death magic and an artifact weapon powerful enough to crack a planet. Makoto had none of that, but in a fight, she could take out all three of them if need be and everyone save her knew it.

She also kept secrets from her friends, sure they shared almost everything, they knew she lived on her own but had the money to support herself from the government or somewhere, she didn't tell them she had an inheritance and it was a lot of money, they just knew she never paid in cash. Nor did they know that Makoto wore glasses in the privacy of her own home and actually wore contacts when she was out and about or had visitors. She didn't even like wearing them as her mind turned to things she couldn't remember and that gave her nightmares. None of them knew she could use magic outside of being transformed either or that her planetary spells were not all that she had cast. She was also the only person other than Setsuna who could teleport by themselves.

The other thing she never told her friends was a dark secret. She and her friends had died at least twice, both times being brought back to life by Usagi, but not Makoto, she was alive and breathing before the spell had been cast. The fact of the matter was that she didn't actually die. Not were those the only times she should have died. Before she met the rest of her friends she had been in a massive accident and had been in the hospital for months. She also was nearly beaten to death by a gang just weeks before she had been expelled as transferred to Usagi's school. Both times, she should have died and didn't.

Lately Setsuna had been giving her odd looks as well, as if trying to remember something. That had started when a flash of pain had arced through her forehead, a pain strong enough to cause her to stumble slightly despite being transformed when they were fighting a leftover young from Beryl's forces. If it hadn't been for Rei's timely intervention with a snapped off Fire Soul, she would have been skewered by the long nails of the youma.

The pain increased, dropping her to her knees in that fight before Usagi had finished it off.

By that time, blood was also seeping ya way out from under the tiara covering her face. Setsuna had shown up at that point as the pain was too much and Makoto disappeared in a crack of teleportation.

The pain had subsided almost as fast as it came. Not enough to cry out in pain with her transformation, but enough to cause her forehead to open up and bleed. She was still dabbing at her head when the door to her bathroom opened up as the others stood there looking on in concern.

Only Setsuna had managed to notice the wireframe glasses or the fact that the blood was coming from a lightning by shaped scar on her forehead. The rest were just concerned about how she was doing.

Three weeks passed before Setsuna brought anything up.

"Mako-chan, what were your parents' names?" That question threw Makoto for a loop. None of them had ever asked about her parents before.

"Sakura and..." Makoto trailed off with a frown as she rubbed her forehead. That didn't sound right.

"Mako-chan?" Usagi queried from Rei's bed, dropping the manga she was reading.

"Mother's name was Sakura...right?" Makoto suddenly looked very confused. "I've told you all that before, right?" She suddenly felt very vulnerable. None of them nodded as she hoped they would. Setsuna herself looked very miserable all of a sudden while Minako frowned. Usagi and Rei looked very concerned while Hotaru hugged her fiercely.

"Makoto...why don't you wear your glasses?" Setsuna finally asked gently.

All of the others looked very confused while Minako's eyes narrowed slightly. "Glasses?" Several of them asked.

"I prefer contacts." Makoto murmured. "Those glasses always make me feel fuzzy when I wear them to long...like I should be remembering something. I don't like it."

"You have a scar on your forehead too, don't you, Mako-chan?" Minako finally asked, staring at the girl.

"I keep it and the rest covered, but yes..." She frowned.

Setsuna looked at Minako with a raised green eyebrow. "A lightning bolt scar, correct?"

"How'd you know?" Makoto frowned more. She really didn't like this.

Minako and Setsuna shared a look, both nodding faintly. "Well, things make a bit more sense to me now." Setsuna remarked. "You always needed the least training in your spells."

"What are you two going on about?"

"Mako-chan. What do you remember about a year and a half ago, before you transferred to our school?" Minako asked gently.

"I was in the hospital. I'd been in a bad accident. The flight I was on crashed and I was the only survivor. Mina-chan, why all the questions?"

"It concerns something very important from a few years ago. You know how I was based in Britain before I came to Japan. One last question, you were treated for nerve damage all over your body, correct?"

Makoto just nodded and was caught completely off guard when he blonde haired friend hissed angrily while Setsuna turned to a confused Ami. "Ami, use Mercury Computer to scan Makoto and look for some physical matches in Europe."

The bluenette nodded slowly, pulling her handheld computer from nowhere and tapping in things rapidly.

"Are you going to explain to the rest of us?" Rei huffed almost angrily.

Setsuna nodded tersely and decided to just be blunt. "Makoto has had her memories wiped and was tortured before she ended up in that hospital.

"Memories wiped?"

"Tortured?"

"Found a few matches." Ami announced and the rest of the girls crowded around her. "One primary match and a few secondary matches. Unless Makoto has a twin, this is her from a couple years ago." She turned the laptop around so the rest could see the girl on the screen.

It was very obviously Makoto, but younger and before she hit her growth spurt, shorter hair and wearing the glasses she kept in the bathroom.

"Harriet Potter, missing since late May." Ami finally said. "The other partial matches are her parents. Lily and James Potter in the English naming."

"What does all that mean, Ami?"

"Mako-chan is British, Usagi.."

"Whaaaaaat?"

Makoto sat, stunned. She was British? She didn't even speak a single word of English!

"The-Girl-Who-Lived." Minako said simply. "You're pretty famous the world round actually, Mako-chan. I'm surprised I didn't recognize you before now."

Setsuna nodded slightly. "There were a couple charms to prevent that. When you collapsed despite being in your Senshi armor one of those broke and I started to piece together a few things. That kind of magic isn't like ours, they're known for a bit more subtlety when it comes to their spells due to the fact that the magic is coming from within their own bodies instead of tapping into the planetary lilies like we are."

"Right." Snarked Minako. "I've seen what passed for subtle for those people. They stand out in a crowd if you know what you're looking for. You have seen what Albus Dumbledore dresses like when he's out and about, right?"

Setsuna snorted and laughed at that. "True enough, he still wears that silly dress suit, correct?"

"He was wearing a set of three layers with stars, red and yellow stripes, purple undershirt and flaring pants when I was sorted." Makoto added absently. The girls stared at her absently causing her to blink. "Huh?"

"Mako-chan, think over what you just said." Rei shook her was in exasperation.

"What? Oh...oh! My memories are coming back? But...I don't get it. I...some things just seem to stand out." Makoto frowned slightly and then froze. "How much of me is just a lie?"

That's when Hotaru and Usagi both hugged her. "None of it is, Mako-chan." Usagi whispered. "You're our friend, and you're still a Senshi."

All the others nodded in agreement.

Setsuna idly sipped at her tea as the other girls started to comfort Makoto. Michiru and Haruka were gone on a little vacation so they weren't there. "We'll have to head to Europe to fix things in the end, Mako-chan. I can get you excused from school for the duration, though if you wish to transfer back to over there I can get that done as well."

"...That life is behind me. I live here and I'm a Senshi, I belong here with all of you." Makoto whispered softly, clutching her arms around her shoulders.

"For that selfsame reason you need to go back, Mako-chan. You need to fully put your past behind you now that we know where it comes from. You owe it to the people you knew back then." Usagi reminded gently. "Two of us should go with you and Setsuna just in case you need backup."

"No doubt this will take several months." Setsuna reminded everyone. "As such, since it is nearing Summer Break we don't have to worry about the first couple of months. Hotaru, you have to stay here to keep an eye on Haruka and Michiru."

"Yes Setsuna-kaasan."

"I'm going." Minako piped up quickly. "I can speak English and I know the areas we need to go a bit better than Makoto will remember for a while."

"I won't be able to go." Ami spoke up hesitantly. "Sorry Mako-chan, but I promised Mother that we'd be doing things his summer.

Makoto waved it off with a smile and looked between Rei and Usagi. Both glanced between each other and Usagi brought her hand up mischievously. Rei rolled her eyes and did the same.

"Janken Pou!"

"That makes me the fourth until the end of summer then. Rei, you're in charge while I'm gone. If the Outers give you any sass just tell them I said so." Usagi cheered, holding up her 'scissors'.

"I'll back you up." Hotaru chimed in.

Makoto slowly nodded at that. "Thank you, everyone. When should we leave?"

Setsuna seemed to think it over for a moment. "Tomorrow, your exams are all done. I'll explain it to Usagi's parents and pull in the paperwork. Rei, can Hotaru stay here until those two get back?" Rei nodded and Setsuna went on. "Pack light; we'll need to buy things when we get there."

The girls nodded and started to talk about other things while Usagi once again went back to the manga on Rei's bed. Makoto kept quiet the rest of the night.

Break line.

"Why can't we just Teleport?" Usagi grumbled for the fifth time as she finally settled down into the First Class Seats that Setsuna had paid for.

Amazing enough, it was Minako that fielded that one. "It leaves a legal trail of paperwork for people to follow in case someone has questions. The Magicals won't, besides, you need to work on your English as us three technically know."

"But I don't speak a single word of the stuff." Makoto grumped.

"You still know it, Mako-chan. You can't judge a pie by its filling you know."

"Book by its cover, Mina-chan." Setsuna idly corrected and turned to Makoto with a gleam in her crimson eyes. "So you don't understand a single bit of English?"

Makoto shook her head, not catching Usagi's look of consternation. "Not a lick of it. Never had the class, saw no point in it." she did catch Minako's look of amusement though. "What?"

"Nothing, Mako-chan."

"But..."

"Hush Usagi. We'll work on your English quietly while Setsuna and Mako-chan go over things."

"I shall handle things, Princess." Setsuna intoned almost regally, a smirk on her face. "It won't do to neglect your duties; we are going to be visiting dignitaries after all. It just wouldn't be proper for the four of us to not speak the tongue of those we're visiting. After all, we are the rulers of three planets and part of the kingdom which governs those planets which you will lead."

That got Usagi to straighten and beckon Minako closer so they could truly work on her language skills, one that she knew when she was really a Princess so it probably wouldn't require that much work in the end.

And that's what they did on the entire trip from Tokyo International all the way to London.

* * *

Author's Note: The third chapter in my Harry Potter kick. This one with the ever amusing Fem!Harry. I've seen a few of these crossovers before with SM, though usually with Harry as a sibiling instead of one of the actual Senshi. This time, Harry AS a Senshi. Sure Makoto only has brown hair instead of black, but...meh, semantics. I latched onto the fact that they both have green eyes. That and some of Makoto's backstory could coincide with a bit of a stretch as evident up there with Minako's and Setsuna's prodding.

Also, Cedric is obviously Makoto's old 'Senpai' and if gone the obvious route, the end pairing would be between those two.


End file.
